(Closed) The horrors of hunting down RSVP's.

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Ugh. RSVPs. I hate them sooo much. I’m sorry you’re having trouble and people are acting ridiculous. People have started sending ours back with no boxes checked. Seriously? Are you coming or not? It isn’t hard to CHECK A BOX. Bleh.

 

On a side note, you’re getting married on my birthday!!! I hope everything is smooth sailing 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

OMG I hear you, it is horrible, I can’t believe the rudeness of some people.  I have been wanting to post about it myself but just couldnt bear to even start the post lol as it is so upsetting.  I am doing a Destination Wedding (as have family & friends spread out around the world) and gave all my guests plenty of time, sent Save The Dates 1 year out in April, Invites sent out mega early in September with an RSVP date in November as I wanted to avoid the whole Christmas/New years crazy busy time. I have to fully pay for everything in 3 days time & I haven’t receved any RSVPs from the grooms family, we have even given out some extra invites to them again as they have lost them just so they can RSVP.  He aasks them almost every day. I have to know my numbers for dinner & everything.  Now they are complaining about the cost of airfares when most guests booked 3 or 4 months ago.  So frustrating. In hindsight I honestly would have just eloped and had my close family who cant wait to come and friends come if they asked but not have invited his family unless they said they wanted to come. So now we have people coming we arent even that close to lol and his immediate family cant decide if they are coming. It hurts too when they only care about themselves.  We have a good relationship usually but the procrastination is excrutiating.

Post # 5
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

My cut off date was today…still waiting to hear from about 40…I’ve already sent a few emails today, got one response…really???  you’ve had the invite for weeks!!!  VERY Frustrating!!  so, I feel your pain..  🙂

Post # 6
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Yuck that is so rude!! i am sorry you had to deal with that! I hope I don’t have to send a mass email but I have a feeling I will too. What do you do about people you just don’t hear from? Assme they ARE coming? Aren’t coming? We have a back-up guest list and would love to be able to invite a few people off of it so if people know they aren’t coming it would be nice if they told us NOW so we could send invites to the back up list. Sigh…..etiquette is so difficult sometimes.

Post # 7
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

So annoying! so many brides on here seem to have problems with RSVPs it’s ridiculous!!

im chasing up a lot of mine. luckily i changed venue and new venue is more flexible about letting them know about the numbers (old one said 8 weeks before for firm headcount!!)

Post # 8
Member
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Whilst some of the comments from your guests were weird, I actually think you were quite rude to bug them prior to the RSVP date. What is the point of setting a date if you are not going to stick to it? Your wedding is the most important priority in your life and not in your guests lives.

If they do not RSVP by your RSVP date then grumple. Before is just silly In My Humble Opinion.

 

Post # 9
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am a little concerned about the RSVP cards I made. I got the design because I needed the names and how many guests there were going to be but the downside of the card was there is no option to check if guests are declining to come. So how would I know the difference between the guests who are declining and the guests who just haven’t sent back their RSVP cards? Another question… should I even pre-stamp the RSVP envelopes because those who will be declining won’t be sending them back? NOTE: I have not yet sent out the invites.

Post # 10
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m dreading this when it comes time for us. I don’t know why guests are so bad at replying! Even before I became a bride planning a wedding I was never that rude. 

Post # 11
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That’s the thing! I have always let people know way in advance if I was coming or not. It’s just common sense. My RSVP deadline is FEB 1st and I literally have TWO responses out of 25.

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Same here…still waiting on many.  Sigh…

Post # 13
Member
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Haha, one of my co-workers has the BEST RSVP story. One of her BMs didn’t RSVP, so she called the Bridesmaid or Best Man up and was like “So, you coming?” And the Bridesmaid or Best Man said “Yeah! I just didn’t know how to RSVP! I didn’t understand the food thing!” It was literally checking a box for chicken or prime rib!

Post # 14
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@BrandNewBride:  So I did the whole alternative RSVP thing with the one that goes:

Accepts with pleasure, Declines with regret and Accepts with regret, Delinces with pleasure.

 

You would not believe how many people got confused.  Ugh.  Hahah

Post # 15
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Date twins!

I didn’t have anyone get angry but my Fiance and I had to hunt down probably 3/4 of our list. He did really well and everyone was a yes or no about 5 days after the date! My half of the list on the other hand was more of a pain!

My one aunt RSVP’d for her whole family but also included my cousin will be there if she’s in Regina (She lives in North Dakota). So she isn’t sure? Is she coming or isn’t she?

AND my one great-aunt hasn’t said anything to anyone. But as my mom pointed out she is the one who lets you know she’s coming for Christmas dinner on Christmas Day!

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