(Closed) The Housewife

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What is your opinion of housewives?

    I'd love to be one, but the idea makes me feel guilty for not contributing to the household income.

    I respect women who choose to be one, but it isn't the right choice for me.

    I want to be one, but we can't afford to live on only his income.

    It is not for me, and I have a little ill-will towards those who choose that lifestyle.

    Other - I'll explain below!

    I already am a SAHW or plan to be one in the future

  • Post # 125
    Member
    2808 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

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    @teaadntoast: Loving your post. Preach, woman!

    Post # 126
    Member
    7769 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Oh my.  🙂

    Post # 127
    Member
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    This topic popped up on WB about a month ago 🙂

    My opinion is still the same, personally I could not be a stay at home WIFE, however, I think a stay at home MOM is a very important role.

    As of right now, I could stay at home if I wanted – husband makes enough to support our lifestyle – but I could never, nor do I want to stay home.

    I went to college to build a career, this is important to me.

    Post # 128
    Member
    7581 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @Miss Lilac: <3 this!

    Post # 129
    Member
    1831 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    What if I told you I could wake up at 8 or 9 every morning, shower when I felt like it, stay in my PJ’s unless there’s something to do and have the TV on all day if I pleased? 

    What if I added that I work from home. I’m a salaried employee that gets to lounge around all day waiting for my next conference call or email. And I get to work my job at my own pace, based on when my next project is due. I’m able to work full-time, clean, cook, and look lovely by the time DH gets home at 5. 

    What do you call that? Technically, I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife, right? But I’m also working. 

    Post # 130
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

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    @JennBug: Totally agree with you on the fact that it’s a blessing to have a paying job in this economy, and one shouldn’t take it for granted. I totally feel the same way too.

    Post # 131
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I apologize if this was brought up in the thread (I was too lazy to read it). But I am very curious to see how many women who are SAHM(W)’s now and had the mentality of “i would feel useless and isolated; that i didn’t contribute to society and i would feel guilty mooching off of my husbands income” before they came one.

    I used to have that same mentality. While I don’t have children, my view on SAHM(W)’s have completely changed. Just because you don’t sit at a desk or have a job doesn’t mean you’re not contributing to society.

    The cost of daycare is absolutely ridiculous nowadays. The cost for childcare where I live is more the what I make a paycheck. If I were to have a kid now at my salary, I would quit my job in an instant. It’s not worth the $800/$900 a month + $200/month I spend on gas to get to my job to work.

    I have the highest respect for SAHM(W)’s. In a marriage you are a TEAM and the money you spend isn’t your husbands. It’s YOURS. I mean, why even get married if you have that kind of mentality?

    Just my two cents. I know this topic is a little killed on WB.

    Post # 132
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @firsttimemom: I would still call you a full time employee with perks.  That’s awesome.

    Post # 133
    Member
    5385 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’m a full time grad student and Stay-At-Home Wife (I also have a home business). If I didn’t go to school, I would probably go crazy. After I am done with school I plan to work full time. 

    Post # 134
    Member
    7769 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Everyone has different values and a different sense of purpose.

    I don’t think having a “job” is the only way someone has value.

    Being a wife (or a husband) as a support system CAN be an important role is society. 

    I am a little shocked that some people think that college is only for getting a job.  Wowsie.  Education improves anyone’s life in ways you can’t even imagine.

    I think if someone wanted to be a Stay-At-Home Wife or Stay-At-Home Mom, having an education will greatly benefit her- her security, her sense of self and purpose, and many more ways that will contribute to the betterment of her life and others.

    Post # 135
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @MlleBrielle: I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom and never thought it would be my reality, but never thought “Ugh, moochers.”

    When I was 19 I rented a duplex from a couple and the wife was a Stay-At-Home Mom because financially it did not make sense for both of them to work when one person’s earnings would just be covering daycare costs. To them it didn’t make any sense and it doesn’t make any sense for my husband and I either.

    Sure, I could go to work full time, but why? Out of principle? I can always find a job but I can never get back this time with my daughter.

    Post # 136
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

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    @cbee: well said!

    Post # 137
    Member
    5789 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Having a job is what you DO, not who you ARE.

    There are many reasons women end up being home, and the presumption that all are worthless human beings is a bit absurd by any standards. A college degree is not the magic ticket to a more productive life, and if it was, why are so many people busy pursuing multiple degrees?

    I’m guessing that since it isn’t MY business to decide how other people should live their lives, I’d expect the same from them.

    View original reply
    @MrsFuzzyFace: this is a perfect response. 🙂

    Post # 138
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I didn’t read most of the replies to this thread (too many!), so my apologies if this has been said.

    If your spouse makes enough for both of you to live as comfortably as you want, there is a huge difference between sitting on your butt all day watching Maury or using the time to keep house (cook/clean/etc) and possibly volunteer somewhere.  Huge difference.

    That being said, I have a college degree (2 of them, actually) in engineering and I have every intention of being a housewife for a while.  Permanently?  Probably not.  But I can’t see the future, so who knows.

    I will probably spend my first day as housewife laying on the couch watching trash TV (seriously, who wouldn’t??), but after that I will absolutely be volunteering somewhere.  It’s just not in my personality to not to ANYTHING, however I would love less stress than what I have at my current job.  And I will use FH’s ability to earn more than me (3 engineering degrees + penis = more $$) to get me a less stressful life.

    Post # 139
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    It’s kind of interesting that you all give a pass to sahm but if you want to stay home you are somehow lazy, unambitious or wasting your education. It’s not that I don’t want to work, I just like to do it from home. And those of you who said you would go crazy at home, well if I had to go sit in some badly lit office pushing paper all day for eight hours, I would want to kill myself. Again, do what you want, be happy and don’t judge. Oh, and what Lilac and Teaandtoast said:)

    The topic ‘The Housewife’ is closed to new replies.

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