(Closed) The Housewife

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What is your opinion of housewives?

    I'd love to be one, but the idea makes me feel guilty for not contributing to the household income.

    I respect women who choose to be one, but it isn't the right choice for me.

    I want to be one, but we can't afford to live on only his income.

    It is not for me, and I have a little ill-will towards those who choose that lifestyle.

    Other - I'll explain below!

    I already am a SAHW or plan to be one in the future

  • Post # 140
    Member
    7581 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @PutABirdOnIt: i love this. It’s exactly what I am going through. My job is causing me to be depressed. I really need to get out of here and do something creative. DH and I are working on a plan to get me out of here asap because it has had a negative impact on our lives.

    I am well educated and an a active member of society. I was recently named business women of the year in one of our major cities and was asked to speak to a group of college students. I looked at my DH and said how bad is it that I am being honored in this way and I am a fake. I would be much more fufilled doing something else.

    Post # 141
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @qwerty1: “(3 engineering degrees + penis = more $$)”

    Ha. So sad, and so true. Until women are given equal pay and daycare costs come down it’s pretty much a fact that staying home with kids is more practical. That, to me, is WAY more ridiculous than someone choosing to be a Stay-At-Home Wife because they can. But don’t call me a feminist!

    Post # 142
    Member
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

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    @Jenbee:wow. do you enjoy being so offensive? I’m a hosewife and I make it so that my husband can got to university and work full time so that after he gets out he’ll be able to make this country for ppl like you. I had a job as a cashier at walmart and the majority of ppl made it clear to me that it was not contributing to society in a positive way. housewives and sahm work their butts off every single day. we do not get days off. maybe think before you say something stupid and ridiculous.

     

    Post # 143
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

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    @mwitter80: ME TOO.

    Post # 144
    Member
    5282 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @2ndtimeacharm: I know that my opinion on the level of work and responsibilites for a Stay-At-Home Mom vs a Stay-At-Home Wife are vastly different, would you not agree that a Stay-At-Home Mom typically works harder & longer then a woman w/o a job and no kids, i.e. a SAHW?

    This is the reason that I believe most of us more supportive of Stay-At-Home Mom vs. Stay-At-Home Wife…..

    Post # 145
    Member
    2701 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

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    @qwerty1: “3 engineering degrees + penis = more $$$”

    almost spit water out of my mouth at work while reading this. hysterical!

     

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    @PutABirdOnIt: I agree!

    Post # 146
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @Miss Lilac: Even if women were paid equally and daycare costs came down, we’d still be stuck on the front lines when it comes to kids.  Who does the daycare call 1st when the kid is sick?  It’s not the father.  When teachers call from school, they usually want to talk to the mother.  Until men can start carrying the babies too (when pigs fly or transgendered people show up in higher numbers), women won’t automatically be considered closer to the child and therefore more responsible for it than the father.

    Post # 147
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    I do not have the personality to be a Stay-At-Home Wife. I’m quite sure I wouldn’t end up doing any of the useful things you all mentioned. I find that I am much more productive when I have structure to my day. No structure = nothing gets done. So, I’m a bit jealous of those of you that could actually make yourselves useful while not working. Just goes to show that everyone is different.

    (That is to say.. I’m glad I’m working and plan to continue doing so, because it is what is best for me and my future family).

    Post # 148
    Member
    3774 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    I have been thinking this for a while but I am just going to say it.  I think there may be some jealousy on the part of some people who feel so strongly negative at stay at home wives.  I know if I were going to my “job” everyday because I had to “work”, I would be jealous of someone who has the time, money and opportunities to pursue her interests, hobbies, and passions on her own time until her heart is content.  Just saying.

    Post # 149
    Member
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

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    @ItWasntMe: “Having a job is what you DO, not who you ARE”

    EXACTLY! Why as women are we limiting ourselves to what we can accomplish in life based on what we do for a living? A Stay-At-Home Wife can’t contribute to society the same way a working woman can?

    Post # 150
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @MrsFuzzyFace: Maybe some are jealous, but my main hang up is depending on someone else for money.  Having someone else control the financial aspect of my life is pretty scary.

    If I was a rich heiress who had money paid to be in royalties separate from my husband I could do the stay at home wife thing.  I would probably start a public aquarium or something since I love fish, but I would keep busy.  As long as my money was my own, I’m happy.

    Post # 151
    Member
    10283 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We fully intend on me being a Stay-At-Home Mom when we have kids but I don’t think I could ever be a Stay-At-Home Wife. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. It does not take 8 hours a day to cook and clean and if it does take someone that long, they should really re-think their methods for accomplishing these tasks. If the Stay-At-Home Wife volunteers or has other obligations outside of the home that’s one thing, but if they just sit on the couch and watch soap operas all day, well, I don’t really have much respect for them (I know a couple of these and they annoy the hell out of me).

    If given the opportunity, I would love to work part-time so that I could have more time at home to get things done but I would never stop working all together (until we have kids). Could we afford it? Yea, probably but I don’t think I would feel good about myself. Besides, I don’t care how much your husband makes, I don’t know of any family that couldn’t use extra money. 

    Post # 152
    Member
    2017 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @mwitter80:

    Oh yes, I totally understand your feelings! It’s just really hard to dump a salaried job when you need the income, and even if you are accomplished at what you do, if you’re not happy, then what’s the point really? Such a sad catch-22 for a lot of women…

    Post # 153
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

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    @Miss Lilac:  Not arguing really, but I wonder if, even with the high cost of daycare, staying at home is always practical?

    Re-entering the workforce with a gap on your resume can be difficult, particularly in certain professions, so for some women I wonder if it makes more sense to keep working even if most of the salary is absorbed by childcare until kids are in school.

    (This, of course, applies only to women who might want or feel the need to pursue “traditional” office-style employment at some point in the future.)

    Post # 154
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I still think that even in today’s society, running a household is a huge job.  The fact that after 8 hours of work, and an hour at the gym most nights, I need to come home and do laundry, cook, prepare lunch for the next day, straighten up, etc, causes me much stress.  I do share many of these tasks with my FH, but I am the one who really cares if they get done or not, and I am the one who ends up doing a lot of them.  I have no idea if, given the opportunity to be a Stay-At-Home Wife, I would do it, but sometimes the idea of it is very appealing!

     

    I can’t believe how some are judging others’ choices though.  I understand not wanting a certain path for yourself, but how can anyone say what’s right for another woman to do?

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