(Closed) The Housewife

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What is your opinion of housewives?

    I'd love to be one, but the idea makes me feel guilty for not contributing to the household income.

    I respect women who choose to be one, but it isn't the right choice for me.

    I want to be one, but we can't afford to live on only his income.

    It is not for me, and I have a little ill-will towards those who choose that lifestyle.

    Other - I'll explain below!

    I already am a SAHW or plan to be one in the future

  • Post # 214
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @MrsFuzzyFace:  They often are already paying high premiums do to the fact that most men in the $50k range who have been at their job awhile tend to be more blue collar than white.  This means they are subject to higher premiums due to their job (construction worker, factory, etc.).  I can honestly tell you I grew up in a blue collar family with blue collar friends.  A lot of moms stayed home.  My own mom did for quite awhile (she has only a high school diploma, same for my dad).  They didn’t have life insurance because they were already on a tight budget and life insurance was ‘optional’.  My dad worked on planes but made good money compared to my friends’ parents.

    I guess I’m just trying to point out that when your income is already low, you usually do not want extra costs coming out of your pocket if you can help it.

    Post # 215
    Member
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would! I am positive that I could find enough things to do to fill my time and not get bored. I would love to be able to take care of my husband and have him take care of me, before we have children.

    Also, like someone else said, I would be a perpetual student. Oh, how I would love to be able to go to school without working. I would enjoy my education and get so much more out of it, rather than just be stressed out the entire time like I am now.

    And for those who say being at home and cleaning all day would be torture for them, open your minds! You have SO many options! Cleaning and cooking all day is not the only thing you could do.  

    Post # 216
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Meealissa: Belittle? Defensive? Pot, meet kettle. And turn the rage down a little too.

    I agree with you about women in that very specific position that you have described. However, I think as per the responses from most of the SAHWs who have piped up on this thread it’s pretty obivous that a lot of very strong, educated and capable women CHOOSE to stay home and have analyzed the risks of doing so. The way you initially wrote it was really dumbing down all SAHWs though. Which I think is insulting to the smart and eloquent women here discussing why their life style works for them. Yeah, life might be harder were they to lose a husband, but I have yet to read a post on here from anyone who seems ignorant of that possibility.

    Post # 217
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Ahone: That’s a good point, I never thought of it like that. I have made the assumption that SAHWs choose that lifestyle because it is financially feasible. I couldn’t fathom being a Stay-At-Home Wife if it was cause for financial stress or additional pressure on my husband. I think that’s different, and it’s not a very smart decision. Being a Stay-At-Home Wife is a real luxury for sure.

    Post # 218
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Miss Lilac: Yeah, it definitely is!  You need some serious resources to be a Stay-At-Home Wife.  Being a Stay-At-Home Mom makes a lot of sense if your husband is pulling around 50k or less.  Daycare would eat up whatever money you made working as a cashier or clerk.  That’s why a lot of blue collar famillies have stay at home moms.  Daycare often costs more than a job would give them to pay for it so staying home with the kids is a lot cheaper in the long run.

    In fact, growing up I’d only see a Stay-At-Home Wife if she was already pregnant with her first.  It was only a very temporary thing before she transitioned to Stay-At-Home Mom.

    Post # 219
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I’m an extremely rare case from what it sounds like. I got married at 19, and am 21. I’ve been married for a little over two years. I have my High School Diploma however, I have also dropped out of college, more than once (gasp!). My husband was in the military and ever since I have met him, I made it clear that I just wanted to be a housewife. Yes, I wanted to. No, I do not consider myself uneducated just because I did not graduate college and no, I do not consider myself not contributing to society. When I shop for groceries, I am buying products from many different vendors which helps them produce more. If the customers do not buy, vendors will not be able to earn money which could mean loss of business. I cook, clean, grocery shop, knit, organize, schedule things and activities, do the household budget, run errands, am involved in my church, and visit the library often to study and do research (yes, I can study without actually going to college) on various topics that interest me. We don’t even have a TV so I do not watch TV all day. I also get to sleep in which is pretty awesome to say unless I have something to do in the morning. My husband is currently not in the military anymore and is currently working a blue collar labor job (gasp!). No, I don’t work and no, he has no issue with it. We don’t make a ton of money but are content where we are and thanks to God, our bills do always get paid. Yes, it is our income, not his. We share the money that comes in. It took me a long time to get over the foolish stigma society has towards housewives with no childen but now I say it proud and with a smile on my face. Why? Because I love what I do. Being a housewife is my career and my life. My hubby is the provider and I am the caregiver. He is very forgetful and I know if I had a paid job, I would not have time to remind him of things or bring him something he may have forgotten at home. I love what I do. I don’t knock women who have paid careers, but I will not let them knock me either 🙂

    Post # 221
    Member
    1741 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @christinalove:More power to you!  I wish I could be happy as a housewife, but it drives me BONKERS. I need more interaction, and do not seek it when I’m cleaning/cooking/being a good housewife. You do all the right things to be a happy housewife–getting involved in church, doing research and taking up lots of hobbies.

    Post # 235
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @R.Elliott:  I dont like people who does not work. What if your working hubby divorces you, its too much depending on somebody.

    Post # 236
    Member
    1874 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @inspiration86:  +1. When I was once working I encountered a woman who is now a widow and had never worked or paid a bill a day in her life and is now burdened with the responsibility and has NO clue what to do. I am now a Stay-At-Home Wife but we have 3 small children and even now I am upset because if I want to work AND go to school I have to first find a job and classes that fit around THEIR schedule. I dont get a woman that just wants to sit around all day. How much of a mess is it to clean up after 2 people? I would get cleaning up after small children like I do everyday, that’s acutally work! No, I was raised to be independent and I just don’t get it.

    Post # 237
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I do not see the point of housewives.  I can respect women who want to be state-at-home moms, but I do not see the point in being a housewife.  It just seems a waste of human power.  

    Post # 238
    Member
    2645 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2007

    I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom, I have every intention of working in the future, but I have nothing against housewives. My mother and most of her friends did not work after having kids, even after the kids were in school full time or when they grew up and left home. These women do live fairly “luxurious” lives, a lot of shopping, trips, spa treatments, lunches, yoga etc.. However, they also keep beautiful homes, make fantasic meals, are avaialble in emergencies at a moment’s notice etc..  I don’t think they are wasting their lives, or are all lazy/spoiled. Working is not something that everyone finds fulfillment in, and if you don’t have to work, and your SO is OK with it, why not stay home if that’s where you’d be happiest? 

    Post # 239
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    @R.Elliott:  I wouldn’t mind being a “housewife” if I was able to work from home (manage a home-based business), and take care of the kids.

    Otherwise, I could never picture myself just staying home to care for the kids. I like to work too much, and I’d probably get bored just caring for children 24/7.

    Post # 240
    Member
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009 - Mountain Meadow/Mansion

    I LOVE my job and feel that it allows me to use my skill set, education (2 MA degrees and plans to earn a PhD or an EdD) and make an impact (elementary princpal at an urban school), but I’d be lying if I said I never thought about how great it would be to be a Stay-At-Home Wife (I don’t have kids and don’t plan to, so I’ll likely never be a SAHM). Hubs and I have even talked about thr possibility. Not sure I’ll do it now or in the future, but it certanly has its appeal. I’m also sure that like most of life, it’s what you make of it. I’d love to spend my time volunteering, exercising and pursuing hobbies.

    Post # 241
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @KatNYC2011:  veterinarian for large animals makes a lot of money if you were to work in a derby or farm

    The topic ‘The Housewife’ is closed to new replies.

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