(Closed) The Housewife

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What is your opinion of housewives?

    I'd love to be one, but the idea makes me feel guilty for not contributing to the household income.

    I respect women who choose to be one, but it isn't the right choice for me.

    I want to be one, but we can't afford to live on only his income.

    It is not for me, and I have a little ill-will towards those who choose that lifestyle.

    Other - I'll explain below!

    I already am a SAHW or plan to be one in the future

  • Post # 66
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    My husband is a stay-at-home husband at the moment. It works right now while he’s looking into grad school.

    Post # 67
    Member
    1524 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @vmec:  Eh?

    Feminism isn’t about making women into men.  It’s about ensuring that women, like men, have options and aren’t restricted to certain roles or positions on the basis of gender.

    Post # 68
    Member
    5259 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Feminism is about choice.  You don’t have to live LIKE a “man”, you can CHOSE.

    You aren’t employing feminism just because you work, you aren’t anti-feminist values  just because you don’t.

    @Miss Lilac: I agree.

    Post # 68
    Member
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Jenn23:I think the same of stay at home dads. They should be out earning. In Vancouver there is barely any chance at all to live in the heart of Vancouver on one income. It’s far too expensive.

    This is just my opinion. I would never be a stay at home mom. I would have a great deal of resentment if hubby wanted me to or in role reversal suggested he stay at home.

    Post # 69
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @vmec: I just moved from Vancouver, it is an extraordinarily expensive place to live… so if that’s what you mean about “earning your keep” then I totally understand. That said, working 9-5 does not make you more modern or more of a feminist, and to think so makes you sorely misinformed. Maybe you should read up on some feminist literature.

    ETA: Thanks for the love ladies! 🙂

    Post # 70
    Member
    2039 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @vmec: Okay I hear what you’re saying…but what if one partner didn’t need to work? If you could comfortably live off one income? would you then still think that both partners should work, on the principle of the matter?

    Post # 71
    Member
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @teaadntoast: I’m not a femisinst. Didn’t claim to be, so to argue about the definition to me is pointless. I’m speaking for MY point of view NOT a “feminist” point of view.

    Post # 72
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @hilsy85: after reading her post she does volenteer and spends time doing other things so in that case I understand. I do however judge people who sit at home all day. I have always been the type of person who has no time or understanding for people that do Absoutly nothing with there lives, there is so much in this world to me it is a total waste of a human life to spend it like that. Although it seems no-one in this post is really like that.

    @burris4: I had you pegged totally wrong from your first post. Seems like you are doing plenty with your life. Im sorry for that misunderstanding.

    Post # 73
    Member
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    double post

    Post # 74
    Member
    7 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would feel too guilty to stay at home and not contribute to the total household income. Especially when we don’t have any children yet. I will keep working and saving up and maybe by the time we do start a family, one of us will have the chance to stay home with our children. I think that while I am able to work, I should definitley take advantage of it.

    Just having the opportunity to work and keep a paying  job in our current economy is a blessing and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

    Post # 75
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Sorry for the double replys, I am not seeing my posts show up for awhile after.

    Post # 76
    Member
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    double post

    Post # 77
    Member
    1334 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I was a Stay-At-Home Mom and housewife in my first marriage and I have to say it ROCKED!  I loved it. Too bad I couldn’t keep loving my ex-husband because I was never bored.  I had a housekeeper, a part-time nanny and a lot of disposable income.  Typical day:  Drop kids off at school, go to yoga, coffee with a girlfriend, errands, pick up kids, after-school stuff, dinner, sexy time with husband. Repeat:)

    My husband at the time worked in the entertainment industry and it was part of my “job” to help entertain his clients, so we went to a lot of social events, premieres, etc.  I read, traveled, had great friends and got to spend time with my kids.  I was able to decorate the house with an unlimited budget.  I was a typical executive wife and it was fun.  Again, too bad he wasn’t:)  I’m going to catch some heat here: I know most people aren’t able to live like this and I’m frankly not afraid to say that I didn’t have it in me to do the whole kids, housework thing without help.  I’m spoiled and I never would have married a man who couldn’t provide those things for me. 

    Anyway, I work now and the kids are out of the house and my new husband is not a millionaire (well, at heart he is:) but I was BORN to be a housewife. I’m like Martha Stewart, love cooking, interior design, house projects and just taking care of my man. Sounds really conventional, I know. lol  And I will probably get flamed for this too, but I think it’s part of my duty as a wife to keep the house in shape, myself in shape, to have great sex with my husband and to make sure he’s well-fed and taken care of.  

    Having to work outside the home right now makes this harder to do and he has to help out. But as soon as I can, in the next few months, I’m going to get my business going at home and be happily back in my little kingdom.  BIG disclaimer:  This life is definitely not for everyone and I have no judgment against working moms or women who feel differently. This is just my preference.  Sometimes I really wish all I wanted was a fabulous career that made me lots of cheese.  But I have never wanted that (I am college-educated, btw).

    But do what makes you happy and don’t feel guilty about it either way:) 

    Post # 78
    Member
    1012 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I voted “other”. I was actually literally just considering writing a post similar to this myself! I’ve been thinking this over a lot lately and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I think I want to be a housewife. I’m a big fat feminist and worked my ass off in school to get where I am today and I have a job that I love and freelance work that I enjoy, but I often find myself sitting at work daydreaming about the cooking/cleaning/decorating/crafting/whatever that I could be doing if I were home. I’ve even asked to leave early a few times under the guise of something else, just so I can come home to clean the kitchen, or run to Target to pick up some new candles for the living room, or surprise my SO with dinner when he gets home. So the feminist side of me is saying NO NO NO YOU CAN’T DO THAT YOU ARE AN INTELLIGENT, STRONG WOMAN AND YOU NEED TO HAVE A CAREER but the rest of me really is happier at home. I’ve been very conflicted.

    I think what I’ve concluded is this: I will switch to freelance-only at some point in the near future. That way I’m still making some money, still putting my brain (and college degree) to good use, still doing the design work that I love, but I get to stay home and take time during the day to cook, clean, craft, decorate, run errands, whatever.

    The one caveat of this is that I absolutely REFUSE to become the de facto housekeeper because SO is inept at doing it himself. I REFUSE to be the housewife whose husband doesn’t know how to wash dishes, or do the laundry, or change the sheets, or cook a decent meal. I REFUSE to wait on my SO hand and foot — I’ll be the housewife, sure, but I won’t be his waitress. He can get his own damn drink out of the fridge, he can fold his own damn laundry, and he better damn well help me clean up after dinner. I’ll only be the housewife as long as it’s a choice — as soon as I become unhappy, or SO becomes spoiled by it, something has to change.

    Post # 79
    Member
    3218 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Shit, did I just post the same thing like 5 times? Sorry. But my page isn’t refreshing to see my nor anyone else’s recent posts. Whoops.

    The topic ‘The Housewife’ is closed to new replies.

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