(Closed) The $h!t people say!

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

One lady at the restaurant I worked at asked me sincerely if the wine had free refills.

 

There’s been so many but that one always sticks out in my memory. I also remember on two occasions, customers mistook me for their waiter. As in a man – 6 feet tall Caucasian men who were waiting on them. I’m a 5’3″ little asian girl. I’m just like “Really? Am I that hard to distinguish from your waiter?”

 

I enjoy the experiences I’ve had with customers in general. Sometimes I mess with them a little – I’ll bring ice cream to tables with birthdays and tell the birthday person that if they want it, they have to stand on their chair and sing Happy Birthday loudly to everyone, just to see how many of them believe me. A surprisingly large number of people REALLY love ice cream, apparently, because I’ve had to stop people midway and go “Kidding! Here!”. I also wait for customers to ask “Can I order ________?” and then I say “no” and stare at them very seriously until they give me that “wtf?” look and get flustered. It’s hard not to laugh.

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Haha.

Last year I got a little seasonal PT job at Barnes & Noble and I remember a lady buying a 2012 planner. Well you know how sometimes they’ll put extra months in there so you can start using it earlier? Like this one started in October 2011 and continued through all of 2012. She said “I want to buy a 2012 planner, but this one has 3 months of 2011 in it! Can I get a discount? I want a 2012 planner…” I explained to her that it was just a courtesy that calendar/planner companies seem to include and she looked at me like I had two heads and said, “yes, but can I get a discount for this? I don’t need these months.. I want a 2012 planner.” Why would you get a discount for getting more than what you want??

 

 

Something that also makes me laugh is kind of on the other end of customer service, where I was the customer. My Fiance and I were at a restaurant and there was like a 20 minute wait. So we’re waiting and they finally call us on the speaker thing, but they say, “Alex party of 2 with the wheelchair.” Ooooookay. I felt like that was such a weird thing to say! I am in a wheelchair, but you don’t say, “John party of 4 with the bratty kids,” “Kim party of 3 with the large gut.” I mean, really? It made us laugh because it was so bizarre.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee

Part of my job involves working customer service for a start-up software company.  My coworker and I have a running list of our favorite customer service interactions.  Here are some of my favorites:

  • “Do I need the Internet to use your website?”
  • “I can’t log into my account today.  Is that because Obama won a second term and sabotaged my account?”  (I wish I could say this was the only time I’ve fielded this question.  I’ve actually received it from three separate customers)
  • And my personal favorite story from my coworker.  He had a customer who was having webcam problems.  He said that his head was really close to the screen and was being cut off in the webcam video.  Coworker told him to move back from his desk away from the webcam.  Magically, it fixed the problem.

I love stories like these to balance out the crazy and mean customers.

Post # 6
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I KNOW I have more, but there is one that sticks out in my mind from my bartending/serving days. Keep in mind, I worked at a suuuuper busy restaurant adjacent to our major sporting events arena (football, hockey, basketball, concerts, motocross, local tournaments, Cirque de Soleil… all there). 

So my favorite was when people would say, “How long do you think the food is going to take? We’re going to the game.”

Oh really? There’s a game? Where? Is that why all these people are wearing jerseys? you don’t say.

Post # 7
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I had a customer take up all the space on my counter at work. I started ringing things up going from left to right. While I was ringing the stuff up, she SHOVED the stuff on the opposite towards me and said, “I’m getting these too.”

Really? I thought you were showing me some things we sell. DERRR. 

Post # 8
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

How about one of the girls I supervised who talked about going to college and the fact that she can’t tell time in the same sentence? That frightened me…

Post # 9
Member
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I was purchasing a bunch of dog toys and dog treats at a local Dollar Store.  The woman at the register said totally seriously, “Do you have a dog?”  I said “No, but I have three small children.” (At the time I didn’t have any kids just two large dogs)

Then there was a lady at a grocery store who told the clerk, “I just love all thre free samples!” The clerk says, “What free samples?” “Oh you know the one’s in the fruit and vegetable area! Oh and the candy bin!”  (you know how organic fruits/vegetables aren’t usually packaged up and sometimes there are large vats of candy with bags next to it to buy by the pound…. yeah she had herself a buffet)

Post # 10
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My best stories come from working in a pharmacy through college.

We had a lady that was on so many meds that she often called in refills for the wrong ones and then blamed us for refilling the wrong ones when she came to pick them up.  She’d get mad about having to wait a few minutes for her correct refills so during her complaining, she’d always list off her illnesses: Fibromyalgia, a ruptured disc, high blood pressure, etc…this happened all. the. time. until the last time, she told us she had rigor mortis and we informed her that if she did, in fact, have rigor mortis that she’d no longer needed her meds because she was dead.  After that she quit complaining! 

I had a guy call the pharmacy once and tell me that he was an exotic dancer and that his boss would give him viagra before performing to “make his stuff look better” and that he was in a lot of pain down there after taking the viagra for about a week.  After about 30 minutes of trying to tell him to go to the Dr. and him refusing because he didn’t want to get his boss in trouble for giving him pills, I finally asked him if he ever “finished things off” after taking viagra.  He said no, and I informed him that he probably had blue balls and needed to go take care of it.  If that didn’t work, go to the doctor!  

I had a guy come up to the pharmacy and ask “What’s the best thing for crabs?” The pharmacist looked at him with the most serious face and said “tartar sauce!” I about died laughing so hard, and had to send another co-worker out to show the poor guy where the stuff was in the store for lice.  

Post # 11
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Schatzie821:  I get asked if I have a cat all the time…wth?? No dude, I’m just buying a 10lb bag of cat food and litter so I can use it…lol

Post # 12
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@bleusteel:  My Fiance worked at a small computer company once, and got a caller saying that their monitor was broken, but they could hear the computer was on.  He went through all the checks with them to check plugs/wires/ect.  Finally, he asked them to push the button on the bottom of the monitor to turn the screen on…that was their problem! LOL

Post # 13
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@MissCountryGirl727:  We did that with a printer when I worked at a car dealership. It’s usually always on but the power went out for a while and when it returned, none of us could work the printer so we called IT and then bitched and moaned to eachother because it took him 4 hours to get to us and we had a ton of stuff to print. He came in, pushed a button and said “Done” We asked what was wrong and he said “You didn’t press the power button.”

We did but apparently, you have to hold the button for 3 seconds to let it charge up. I felt like a world class dummy.

Post # 14
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@adoc86:  I’m dying over here. People will do anything for a discount!

@kris325:  I was a bartender/server for quite a long time and I think something happened every day where I’d come home with a story:

-Working the outside patio bar one day, a woman started stacking 3 of our wooden high chairs together so her baby could sit at the bar with her and see over it.  After getting the infant situated, she started smoking cigarettes and trying to get men around her to buy her drinks. She was furious when we told her to unstack them and move the baby away from the bar.

-I was waiting a table with 2 sisters and their attorney who were discussing an upcoming custody hearing. You could tell by looking both had drug problems. The attorney bought their $60 meal and drinks, even buying them dessert.  He left a $20 on the table for me and left ahead of the two sisters. He wasnt out the door when one of the sisters walked back to the table, looked around, then grabbed the 20 and stuffed in her pocket before RUNNING out the door.

I could do this ALL day.

Post # 15
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  I know, right?!

I can’t believe that woman stacking the highchairs. LMAO!

Post # 16
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@adoc86:  She was a mess.  I snapped a picture of the touching scene from behind before we told her to take apart her baby tower. I’ll see if I still have it.

The topic ‘The $h!t people say!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors