(Closed) Peeta, my Peeta…I mean…FI…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I find I get like this when I don’t have enough to occupy my time (I like to be busy).  Staying busy keeps my mind off of that kind of thing (because usually it really is all in our heads, right?).  I text him if I get too blah but generally try not to bug him since I know its just me, I know he loves me but he’s working/at school & since I work from home its easy for me to slip into that “you’re never here!” bit.  So I try to keep busy. 

Hope this works out for you 🙁

Post # 6
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s hard. For the vast majority of my relationship with FH we were somewhat long distance. He was in school two hours away and working almost full time. I was in school full time too and then some paperwork got lost and I was unable to attend for two semesters. I spent a lot of time going to visit him, but most if the time I was alone in his apartment waiting on him to get offmwork at 11 at night. When I finally got back in school, I couldnt see FH that much and he couldn’t see me. He moved a little closer about a year ago, but he’s still in school from 7 am to 4 pm and then he works from 5 until 10 almost every night. We see each other two nights a week right now and I’m once again out of school due to another paperwork mishap with my financial aid and I’m unemployed. I spend lots of time by myself and like you, I’ve sort of resented FH for never spending time with me. He never wants to take off from work, and getting a day off is like trying to force a camel through the eye of a needle. Out of the three years we’ve been together, we’ve spent one sort of anniversary together. It’s easy to feel resentment, but things will get better soon. FH and I are about to start living together since I’m moving to his city to go finish school.

I tried lots of crafts at first and discovered I’m not really crafty, so I read a lot. I clean. I spend more time with my dog and I take lots of walks. I cook a lot too.

I try to stay busy as much as I can to keep my mind off of it. But it does help to focus on how things will be later once things settle down.

Post # 7
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This couldn’t have come at a better time.  I just came from the gym where I cried my eyes out.  You ever have a workout cry?  They’re great, ’cause you’re sweating and no one can tell. Awesome.  

Our situation is VERY similar to yours, we’re both busy stressed, insecure (weight issues with him, general anxiety and insecurity with me).  His answer is to spend less time together so that we don’t take it out on eachother.  He goes to softball, I find something else to do so he can have that time for himself.  Fair enough, EXCEPT WHEN YOU’RE MARRYING A GIRL WITH ADMITTED ABANDONMENT ISSUES!

*whew* Sorry for yelling.  I’ve been in therapy for this, but frankly, I’m too busy to pursue it right now.  I have zero advice for you, because clearly I’m a basketcase about my poor Fiance wanting some time to himself.   I’d love to read the advice of someone who’s overcome this. 

 

Edit: from the title, I was thinking “peeetah,” as in Peter Griffin.  I was totally expecting this post to be a vent about your husband being all lazy and inept, lol

Post # 8
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

“Any way to make the time we DO have together more meaningful”


I’m working on this too. I don’t want to be a nag about either of us being on forums or facebook while we’re watching TV on the couch, but yeah, somehow vegging out together feels closer than vegging out whilst checking our respective facebooks. 

Post # 10
Member
344 posts
Helper bee

Is he genuinely super busy, or does he seem un-interested?

Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Please don’t compare fictional movie character love to your relationship.  Life is somes hard and too busy, but he is working hard for the future you will have togetheR, don’t punish him for doing so!  Get some hobbies and occupy yourself girl!

Post # 13
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sorry typos… Shakes fist at iPad 

Post # 15
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mashiara:  I know how you feel and I sympathise!My Darling Husband works 3-midnight (later when he has overtime at work,sometimes2 or 3 in the  morning) and Im at college. Although my college is only 3 days a week,so I have a LOT of spare time! Best of all,Darling Husband has fridays and saturdays off,and Im at college on one of his days off,which sucks 🙁 It IS hard,especially when we only end up seeing each other for literally a few minutes every couple of days.

We make the most of our time together by..not really doing much haha. we walk our dog together,visit family sometimes but most of the time  we just veg out together!

Post # 16
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve definitely gotten this way when I had little to do and my Fiance was very busy. I loooove being busy. It makes me a happier person and happier in my realtionship.

Fiance and I make a point to have a lunch date every week, out of the house so that we don’t just devolve to sitting in front of the tv with plates in our laps. My schedule is flexible, so I can always meet him whenever he is working for his break.

I think its important to take time together outside of your home.

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