(Closed) The “I know it is silly, but I am upset anyways” vent thread!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@saddlebred:  Oh yeah! I hear ya!    I mentioned our wedding plans several times to my mom.  She changed the subject each time!  She finally asked a question or two, TWO months later.

My BFF from 8th grade (read: like a sister, present at the birth of one of my children) was all excited and wanted to go dress shopping with me.  So I called her when the time came… no answer.  So I sent a text and left a oicemail.  Still nothing. That was 2 wks ago.   I have since bought my dress. Finished the shopping for it alone and bought it on eBay.  She is still alive. I know this because because she posted some random stupid quote on Facebook today.

And finally.. those people I DO talk to on a regular basis are all frustrated with me because all I can think about/talk about is wedding planning and they keep saying things like “You still have PLENTY of time!”… and I keep reminding them over and over that in a few days Fiance and I return to school full time, as do the children, and when that happens it is literally non-stop busy busy busy… with very little time for anything besides studying, school, the kids school stuff, laundry, groceries, rinse, repeat.  We have one car, 3 kids in the house, full time course loads, a mortgage, house to maintain, 3 cats, 2 dogs, kids go to a charter school so no bus transpo, kid activities, part time work for us… you get the idea. 

And we STILL have to buy books and supplies, and get everyone haircuts, because our financial aid checks are late and won’t arrive until Friday.

So what they don’t seem to GET is that if I don’t get the bulk of wedding planning done now I am screwed… and it’s obvious these people haven’t planned a wedding ever, or haven’t done it in DECADES, or had a LOT of help when they did it (as in interested and helpful friends/family, maybe!?).. because they keep insisting that 212 days is “plenty of time”!  (oh and we are paying for it all ourselves)

Ugh! Maybe if they offered to DO something it would be plenty of time. Tongue out

 

 

Post # 33
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@gabrielleelise1981:  I totally understand.  I did “pretend” house shopping for years before we were able to buy ours.  I fell in love with many, but one or two still stick with me and there’s one that is close to our house now…. and I drive by it and think “You people have no idea how lucky you are!” ๐Ÿ˜‰  I live in an older neighborhood and it’s a darling historic cottage style, and they have done all sorts of modernization to it.  Ugh.  No respect!

It did help me to buy this house though.  Kind of eased the ache for the houses that came before it.  I love our little house. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 34
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

LOL…thanks for the chuckle ladies….My turn!

That our RSVP deadline is 12 days away and there is still 75% RSVP cards outstanding! 

That my cousin called to tell me that she and my other 2 cousins (her siblings, all of which are grown and still live with my aunt and uncle) want to bring their significant others whom I have never met!  To top it off, she said her brother’s girlfriend’s sister wanted to “tag along” too!  Ugh…

That I am such a push over that I told my cousin (above story) OK!  Omg…I wanted to slap myself upside my head when that word came out my mouth!

That people comment on why I chose the color black for the BM’s dresses! OR why we chose to have an ‘adult only” reception!

That a couple of my FI’s groomsmen didn’t go to his bachelor party weekend in Vegas because they have possessive and jealous girlfriend’s that didn’t let them go! 

That I have to go on a mini diet because my dress fits a lil snug!  This means I have to eliminate my morning sausage biscuit =( 

Thanks OP for opening the door to vent…..I feel a lil better now =)

 

Post # 35
Member
922 posts
Busy bee

OMG I love this post!! I’ve read all of these replys and feel the same way as so many of you!! Glad to have a place to vent where we won’t get ripped apart for being selfish!! Yay! I have so many, here goes… (sorry this is long)

I know it is silly but, it upsets me that…

1) My unlce is not coming to our wedding because it’s the same weekend as his beloved Nascar races that he goes to every year. I even told him a year and a half in advance so he could plan his normal trip home hopefully to coincide with our wedding. He comes home all the time with no advance notice and we can’t get time off work and he’s pissed. I tell him this early and he can’t because of race weekend…jeesh.

2) My mom wants to wear a veil to my wedding. I said I want to wear a birdcage veil and she decided that she wants to as well. WHAT?! If I was wearing a tiara would she want one of THOSE?

3) People saying “Aren’t you already married? Why are you having a wedding?” Yes, we are already married. After the proposal we got the news that SO was being deployed. We eloped in Jamaica before he left for war, and no one was there. We were all alone. We want to celebrate with all of you as originally planned, it’s free… Just come and shut up about it!! This is why we wanted to keep our Jamaican nuptuals a secret anyway!!

4) My grandmother spilling the beans that we got married in Jamiaca. We actually want people at our wedding grams and want people to treat it like a wedding.

5) My mom not being interested in the wedding as it pertaines to me. She picks apart the things I tell her about our plans and all she cares about is what she’s going to wear and how she’s going to look. She hasn’t even told me I’m pretty in like 3 years…probably longer. I know she’ll do the same thing on my wedding day. And she’s walking me down the aisle…she wants all the attention because she’s jelouse that I get what she never had.

6) My Mother-In-Law is going to try and ruin our wedding. I’m just preparing for the annoyance now. She’s ruined everything else including our engagement party, so the wedding will be her masterpiece.

7) This isn’t silly, but I havn’t told this to anyone else other then my SO yet: my grandmother married a man that molested me for years when I was a little girl. She stayed married to him and the family caters to him. It disgusts me. I don’t want him at the wedding. He ruins everything. He always starts fights with me and hates it when attention is on me and he see’s people loving me. He’s pissed that I told on him. My mom has NEVER backed me up with that whole thing and now I need her to stand up and be by my side. I said I wanted her support with asking my grandmother not to bring him to the wedding and she said “Oh BLANK, you’re being selfish! You can’t expect grandma to come and not bring him! If you want that then you should just expect her not to come either. It will never happen”. Selfish??? Far from it! She’s always told me I’m selfish but I know I’m not. She’s the selfish one.

Ok, vent session now complete.

 

 

Post # 36
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@NYshoppingirl:  Tell your mom you’re wearing a tiara, convince her to wear one too, then do the opposite.  Let her show up and look ridiculous in a tiara! ๐Ÿ˜€  Hey I even have one I don’t want, if you want it. lol.

My mom hasn’t told me I look pretty in I don’t know how long.  That’s ALL she ever said when I was growing up, and I based my self esteem on it.  Not that I was smart or resourceful.  Pretty pretty pretty.  But to her if you are as much as 15 pounds overweight then you are shameful.  So since I fit that criteria I haven’t heard it in ages.

When she saw my outfit I wore to my oldest son’s high school graduation (which was adorable and flattering) she couldn’t even toss a compliment my way.  Instead she said “Why aren’t you wearing that skirt I bought you??”

I will admit I’m taking extreme pleasure, every time she tries to give me my aunt’s hand-me-downs (my aunt buys clothes even more than me and gets bored with stuff quickly)… my mom will say “Here, you have this. It’s too big for me.” and EVERY time I will now say “Oh? What size is it?”, and she answers, then “What size are YOU, mom?” and then I remind her repeatedly that she and I area only one or two sizes apart.  She wears a 10 or 12 and I can wear anything from a 12 to a 16. But usually a 14. And she’s usually a 12.. so that is ONE SIZE. 

And she shuts up real quick, until next time and I remind her again.  Muahaha. Yeah I’m a little evil.

And your last one sucks.  I don’t know how you can stand that and I am so sorry.  My younger son (now almost 13) was molested by an older child… my son was 5 and the other child was 10 and emotionally disturbed.  I can not IMAGINE not doing everything in my power to protect him from here on out from ever being around that other person again!  He has had counseling and I took action immediately.  I hate to hear stories where someone was abused and not supported or believed.  I was sexually abused as a child too (at age 7) and never told anyone, because I didn’t think I’d be believed/heard.  It was a boyfriend of my mom’s.  Thankfully a short-lived one.. but still.   I’m so sorry. ๐Ÿ™

 

 

 

Post # 37
Member
922 posts
Busy bee

MsInterpret thank you for the support and the funny comments!! I like your tiara idea…lol!!!!

Post # 38
Member
922 posts
Busy bee

Oh oh one more I know it’s silly but I can’t help being bothered by…

A friend of mine who’s not even engaged yet is already planning her wedding to be a couple weeks before mine and wants it in the same location and time of day as our wedding. She specifically said she doesn’t care what month they do it in, she just wants to be married but I keep getting the distinct feeling she’s trying to “beat me” to the alter. We’ve had to live through a war (literally) to get to this day, where’s the respect? I just wish she’d have the wedding somewhere else. I don’t even care if it’s a week before mine, as long as it’s somewhere else. I hate the idea of our friends comparing our weddings. But luckily it looks like her and the future FI can’t afford the amount of $$ it costs to use our venue…I can’t lie when I say I’m glad.

Post # 39
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

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@sulaii211:  Just an FYI, your SO can “carry” the yeast too and have no symptoms and reinfect you repeatedly.  You might want to talk to your doc about that.  At least that is what I was told years ago by a GYN. 

Post # 40
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My mum actually saying “You’ll struggle for attention at your wedding, because your brother’s new baby is soooo beautiful”!!!

This is the baby that had destroyed my “no children” policy, that is the result of a relationship of less that 18 months, and that came after my brother totally trampled all over my long-awaited engagement by proposing to his girlfriend of 3 months a few weeks after I’d got engaged (and then broke up with 1 month later!!!). Oh, and my aunt getting engaged as well – another shock engagement apparently sparked by my own. I know it’s wrong to be jealous and resentful of happy things like babies and marriages, but I kind of was looking forward to being the only bride in my (very very small) family. My aunt and brother have already been married before. Totally childish and selfish of me, I know, but that’s how I feel!

More minor, but has been totally infuriating – guests demanding off-menu food – before even RSVPing! Everyone got a choice of lamb or vegetarian. And a couple of people came back with “I don’t like vegetarian food (WTF!?) can I have something else?” And my Fiance totally caved! So now there will be legs of lamb being carved at each table, and 2 people eating their own plates of chicken! Grr!!!

Post # 41
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My wedding was a few months ago… something that still upsets me is how my step mom wouldn’t tell me what she was wearing the day of the wedding. I didn’t really care what she wore but I wanted to make sure of what kind of corsage (wrist or pin-on) to get her. It also bugged me more and more because she and my dad made it a big deal that I not know what she was going to wear. I also showed her a photo of my dress right after I bought it and then she kept telling me that her dress was a surprise. Her attitude (and my fathers) about it just made it sound like they didn’t trust why I wanted to know and that I was going to be controlling about it. I still feel so offended that I showed her my dress (trusting her and trying to be nice) then she makes a big deal about why I should know what she is wearing. I got her the pin on corsage, she showed up in a red spagetti strap dress… I handed her the corsage and she is like “why didn’t you tell me that is why you wanted to know?”  (for the record I did tell my dad that was why and why should I have to explain my intentions!! Just trust me!) and my dad thought the worst of my intentions (he also told me in a conversation about the fathers tuxes that he didn’t trust my opinion and I was to have no say in what he was wearing.. not that I wanted to ..other than what ended up being the bow tie thing, but that is a different story). As soon as she said that my blood was boiling and I fired something back like “I told dad that was why”. My moh was surprised I didn’t reem her out on the spot. SM ended up carrying the corsage around. And then just not wearing it half the day, she tossed it on the ground behind us in our picture cause she had no where for it… Sorry I tried to include you and be nice! grrrrr. I feel a little better now.. .

 

Post # 42
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

How about having a job that requires you to work twice as hard for 3 weeks in order to take 3 weeks off for my wedding!!!  I am EXHAUSTED and hoping not to crash and burnout before my big day….I just want to enjoy this time, and I can’t!  I am having to work every spare second I can.  I can’t even say how many times in the past two weeks I have been up at 4:00 a.m.  Booooo

Post # 43
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My stupid future in laws actually trying to decide for us that they will be doing readings at our wedding, when we’ve already made up in our mind it was a bad idea and have picked other people. But, when our monthly dinner came along, all of a sudden we hear “I am so glad I get to do the reading thing at your wedding” – and we both looked at eachother like What?… then FH says.. ummm we havent decided that.. and his mom is like “oh, you havent figured that out yet”…….. lol, nice try to sneak that in there.

Then his sister says “It would mean so much to me if i could do that”… and later FH says.. see, thats exactly why… she doesnt give a crap about anything else, and its OUR day, I could care less (okay so he used profanity) if it means so much to her.. it isnt her day to make that choice, it should mean so much to me to have xxxxx chosen! lol

Drama, its stupid. lol

And we wanted around 100 people at our wedding…. we invited around 200. Thanks great grandma for having 9 kids, and thanks other great grandma for having 7. I know in the 20’s and 1900’s people didn’t have weddings like this and what not… but 100 years and so many generations later, that 9 and 7 has birthed itself into around 200 people.  

Post # 44
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mindyleigh – totally feel you on that one – I’ve just submitted my doctoral thesis, a month before my wedding, and to get that done I’ve been working 85 hour weeks for 2 months to get it done, and it ran over, so my planned 3 week time off between thesis and job actually just turned into 3 weeks of working insanely hard for free. 

I’m just hoping I can catch up on enough sleep between now and then to not be wrecked on the big day!

Post # 45
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

ugh.  I get annoyed every time I get a “no” RSVP.  I’m spending oodles to throw a big party with all the works, the least you people can do is pay for a little airfare and show up.

Post # 46
Member
1557 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

*People complaining that a cash bar is tacky. Sorry that I’m paying for this wedding myself and don’t have the money to booze you up. If you want it that bad, you can give me the money for it. 

*People suggesting what colors I should pick for the wedding. There is a reason I have not picked my colors- my dress will not be white, but i haven’t picked it yet, so i don’t know what will match. If and when I do pick it, I will pick the colors I want. Please stop making suggestions, as it’s hard enough as it is. 

*People telling me who “has to” be included in the guest list…. While I recognize that these people are important to you, they might not be important to myself or my fiance. If they aren’t, then we shouldn’t be expected to invite them. If they are, then we probably already had them on the list. I’m sorry that I don’t feel like inviting YOUR friends when I’ve already cut out some of my own. 

*People telling me that the dress I want is too expensive, when I tried on less expensive dresses and just wasn’t impressed by anything. I realize it’s more than I planned, but it’s not unreasonable, and it’s my money. Shouldn’t I get the dress that makes me look good instead of wasting it on something that looks so-so? 

I could continue, but I feel guilty bogging up the board with a wall o’ text! 

The topic ‘The “I know it is silly, but I am upset anyways” vent thread!’ is closed to new replies.

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