Post # 1
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
I had my OBGYN appt today to talk about my crazy irregular (nearly non-existant) periods. Now? I just want to go home and drink wine instead of faking a smile at work. The “I” word has officially been said.. repeatedly. On top of that, whenever I have questions for the nurse, I should call and select 8 for the infertility nurse on call. I feel labeled all of a sudden.. and sad.
I know we’re fiarly soon in in our TTC journey so please know I don’t mean any disrespect to women who have been TTCing for quite some time. I’m just quite sad.. and scared.
Because I’ve only had 2 periods this whole year and I’m on CD50 (+/-), we’re going to start me on Clomid to induce a withdrawl bleed and then do a whole bunch of bloodwork on CD3. She asked if I wanted to do just the most common issue blood tests or some of the less common ones, as well. I asked her opinion and she said “let me look at your neck” (weird, but okay) and after seeing the weird bump at the base of my neck (which doctors have always told me was a reverse curvature), she said she’d recommend doing all the blood work and not just the most common ones. (Big mistake – googling “infertility bump on back of neck” upon my return to work :/ )
The other big thing is to lose some weight/get healthier again.. which I knew and is a truth but is never fun hearing.
And then learning that most everything she’ll be doing will likely not be covered by insurance is scary as hell.. the appt today should be covered since it’s coded irregular cycle and maybe the bloodwork (some insurance companies cover diagnoising infertility and some stop as soon as Clomid is perscribed). Waiting to hear back what mine is.
I feel like a freak of nature… a freak of nature who is about to be broke and disappointed. Fortunately, my husband listened well (not like a typical man) and gave me a hug once I swung home to tell him before heading to work but his hug didn’t fix it this time, like it does most times. I just keep thinking about the i-word and how many times it was said during the appointment today. I thought I’d leave today feeling hopeful… instead, I just feel sad and scared and needed to vent. I’m grateful for a game plan but it doesn’t give me warm fuzzies like I somehow thought I’d feel..
Thanks for listening..
Post # 2
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
Hugs to you! Hoping and praying the Clomid works for you. Maybe your neck bump is thyroid related? That would also be treatable! Good luck!
Post # 3
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
RMBsbride: *HUGS* Sorry you’re dealing with this. Hopefully your insurance will step in and help you out with some of the costs. Best of luck to you and your husband.
Post # 4
Member
2647 posts
Sugar bee
RMBsbride: I went to the doctor after TTC for 6 months and the ‘I’ word was used. It REALLY means nothing. I’ve been TTC for 14 cycles and have even been KU (mc) in that time but I’m still classed as infertile. I have many bad days and it really does suck but just because that word has been used doesn’t mean I won’t have a healthy baby. Because I’m almost cerTain I will (and you too). The great thing about your situation is that you know what is wrong. Hopefully the clomid words this cycle and you get KU very quickly. There is every chance this will happen For you. I have my fx for you.
Post # 5
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
RMBsbride: I’m so sorry you are going through all this. {HUGS}!!
Eta: is it possible that you have an unknown thyroid issue? I know that your thyroid plays a large part in regulating your hormones for different phases of your cycle. That could be why AF isn’t showing. Hopefully the issue is as simple as that to fix.
Post # 6
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
RMBsbride: Definately sounds to me like they are thinking thyroid with the lump in your neck. It is a shame that they focussed so much on the I word, but it sounds like you and your husband are in a good place, and you have some good support. Big hugs
Post # 7
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
Thanks for all the support, ladies.. I know they’re testing for thyroid issues, as well as Cushing’s syndrome (that’s the hump thing I think.. if Dr. Google is right), and looking for hormone levels indiciative of PCOS.. probably some other stuff, too. There is a tiny bit of silver lining. Apparently my ins does have some fertility diagnostic *and* treatment coverage. The “infertility specialist nurse” at the doc called 5 patients back this morning and I’m the only one who had any coverage.. even just diagnoitic coverage. I’ll still have a deductible but I’ll take it. It sounds so incredibly stupid but that little piece of good news makes me feel slightly better. (Slightly.)
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it… <3
Post # 8
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
RMBsbride: I’m glad you feel (slightly) better! I would also hate hearing the i-word- I think anyone would. It seems so negative and so final! But there is SO much you can do in the way of fertility treatments these days- having decreased fertility (which seems like a more accurate way to describe it, to me anyways) does NOT mean you won’t be able to get pregnant, and with a game plan in place to deal with your irregular cycles, you could end up pregnant soon. I would focus on getting some answers, because answers can point you to solutions. Just take it one step at a a time. Also, could you start up an exercise program? Not just to get healthier, but to help you de-stress and feel more positive (exercise endorphins!). Getting healthier for your future baby might also help you feel a little more empowered during the whole process. Anyway, hang in there! It sounds like you husband is a sweetheart and is totally there for you. Try to stay positive and know that although your road to pregnancy might be a little longer and more diffcult than some people’s, you WILL get there. Good luck!
Post # 9
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
RMBsbride: I definitely could’ve written parts of your post…just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and definitely NOT a freak of nature. Like you, I’ve had issues with AF not showing up….basically I only got AF twice in the last year without the help of medication (ie Provera/Aygestin). I recently found out I have polycystic ovaries and there are definitely some sad days wondering if/when things are ever going to happen for us. I was pretty much crying one time when I had to call some nurses to get appointments and actually say out loud, “I am dealing with some infertility…” This website is one place where you can find a lot of sweet ladies who are unfortunately going through a lot of the same feelings. Good luck with all the testing!!!
