posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: How to deal with this?

    You and your FI should cut them out until they are ready to show some respect

    Suck it up and just have a civil relationship they will never change

    Other: Message below

  • Post # 18
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @drummerbride:  I have to disagree only because it’s been what? 4 years? He’s had time to come around on his own. She shouldn’t have to put up with it and he shouldn’t want her to. It’s apoisonous environment for her, and like she said not going and letting him go only makes her look bad. I realize it’s his mommy we are talking about here, but he’s not marrying mommy. If he loves his fiancé he won’t want her to be abused by his family. And that’s exactly what is going on here.

    Post # 19
    381 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @dominicanbride16:  Story of my life.. My Mother-In-Law is the only issue though.  Months leading up to the wedding she literally just started driving me insane with her comments, her rude remarks, ordering cookies for the bridal shower from my husbands ex gfs mom… the list can go on for ages.  2 weeks before the wedding she called my hubby and literally yelled at him for about 10 minutes and was saying thing such as “dont you see you’re making a mistake? Everyone else can see it so why can’t you see it” and SO ON.

    My Fiance now husband knew it was upsetting me.. all of it and driving me insane so he told me that after the wedding is all over and done with I dont have to see his mom except for on the holidays.. birthday parties. family parties etc.  FINE WITH ME! It’s been almost a month since the wedding and I haven’t seen her.. I plan on keeping it that way.  Good luck!

    Post # 21
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You’re fiance needs to step up and stand up to his parents. I think his parents need to hear it from him that their behavior is not okay. In my opinion, he should talk to them in person by himself. If he is by himself, his parents can see that he cares about this and it’s not just you pressuring him to do it. He needs to let his parents know that they are asking him choose between you and them & it is not ok. You do not have time for people trying to divide a family instead of expanding it. I think he should take the pics of him and his ex down himself… I would not hesitate to do it at my parents’ house.

    Post # 22
    307 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Your Fiance needs to stand up for you! He has to be on your team at this point… The mom may or may not change but what will make all the difference is whether you feel sincerely supported by him and defended by him. A friend of mine was having Mother-In-Law issues 6months leading up to the wedding and her Fiance just stayed kind of in the middle, and they ended up in counseling the first yr of marriage and shortly after divorced. IMO it was her FI’s fault for letting things get so tense and not stepping up ever. Poor girl was being made to feel like she was crazy, when she’s like the sweetest most non-drama person…Some moms get weirdly possessive… Point being, sort it out with your man ASAP. He needs to take this seriously and understand how it could impact your marriage and family together!

    Post # 23
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I had a 10 year relationship fail because of a situation like this.   If he doesn’t stand up to them and show them his loyalty is 100% with YOU, then I would seriously consider not marrying him.


    It only got worse after we had a child and bought a house.   It was the worst few years of my life.   It wasn’t until later did I realize how abnormal it was to have to deal with such terrible behaviour.

    Post # 24
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Oh, and always let him deal with it.  He is their son and they will listen to him way more than they will ever listen to you.

    My ex pressured me to call his mom (twice) to try to work out some issues.  She ended up twisting them and calling him at work right after we got off the phone and made me sound like a liar.  I was so upset with how much she manipulated him to make me look like an idiot.

    My advice would be to never, ever confront them yourself.   If you do, you should do it together so he can contribute to the conversation and be a witness to what has been said.

    The topic ‘THE IN LAWS PLEASE HELP’ is closed to new replies.

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