- 3 months ago
- Wedding: July 2018
My husband and I have been married since 07/2017. We got married at 23/24, right out of college and moved across the country. When we first started dating, I was ambivalent about kids. I wasn’t sure what I wanted and neither was my husband. Now that we are 24/25, the baby fever has crept it and not only do I feel ready for kids, but I’m ready for kids NOW! I was raised by teenage parents and I’ve always appreciated the close relationship I have with them. I’ve always aspired to have this same relationship with my kids and want to be a young-ish mom.
I have longish periods that have finally become regular post bc (45 days) and I think I’m ovulating regulating. We’ve been NTNP for a bit over 1 year. Currently I work as an occupational therapist at a charter school making about 90k and I own a small contracting agency making an extra 50k. I work about 55 hours a week. My husband has entered his first post-professional position in logistics. Together our household income near Los Angeles is around 200k, so enough to certainly be comfortable, but we are still new to our professions. We have over 100k in student loan debt we are throwing minimum payments at and credit card debt we are expected to pay off this year. We rent and have always understood a baby would come before a house because we have always lived in a HCOL.
Initially, the plan was to wait for another 1-2 years, however, as a career focused woman, I have a strong interest in returning to my profession post-family. My goal has been to be a millionaire business owner by 30 (I’d like to grow my small agency to a medium-ish one) and as I start to climb the ladder to achieve these goals, I’m wondering how it would be possible with a baby and possible time off. I want to be a mindful and great mom and mindful and great health practitioner/business owner. I think the only way to do this is to pace them both out and thus, I’ve pitched to my husband that perhaps now is the time to officially begin TTC, before I throw myself into my job. He would prefer to wait a year (or more) until he feels more confident in his position and with a stronger emergency fund (pretty much non-existent at this point). I’ve also noticed that he would be okay with continuing to NTNP (he’s okay with a surprise, just not planned). My thoughts are that if we begin TTC now and had Dirty Delete late this year, early next, I could take 6 weeks of paid maternity leave (and have a holiday break paid if we can time it during a time school is not in session) and then potentially finish out the ‘19-20 school year with a new baby and within a familiar role. If a baby was born before April 2020, we could afford a newer car, the necessities for a baby (we budgeted about 5-6k), the difference needed for a fully paid maternity leave, a small savings to afford birth (I want a home birth) and any true emergencies. I would hope to leave the fulltime gig at the charter school at the end to transition into full time self-employed work.
So… thoughts? At this time, the only person I’m able to talk to this with is my husband who is definitely tired of hearing baby talk, lol. None of my friends are married, nonetheless with kids, so I feel confused and I’m running it by you bees! Should we wait? Or TTC now?! Or are we too broke for that? HELP!