Post # 1
It was only two weeks ago that I got engaged – but it seems so much longer than that! In these two weeks we’ve tried to accomplish as much as we could to secure a wedding date for October of next year.
After the engagement, we made the necessary round of phone calls to family and friends to let them know the great news. This is when I began to realize that people really have their own agenda’s and sometimes don’t care much about anything else.
My FH’s best friend and potential best man got engaged to his girlfriend this past August. They have sinced planned a wedding for Oct. 8, 2011. I’m very happy for them both.
However, only minutes after our announcement to them of being engaged ourselves were we badgered about our plans and wishes for our own wedding. At first I didn’t take this to heart, I kindly said we really didn’t know and would let them know when we were sure. Since then, they have repeatedly made it known that next year is extremely busy for them. They have stated several times that not only do they have their own wedding to go to, but they have one in the first week of November and want to go on a honeymoon right after their wedding, so we should really consider doing it the following Spring.
I have always wanted and dreamed of a fall wedding and don’t think I need to sacrafice this because they are getting married in the fall as well.
Unfortunaetly, I expected this from both of them. But I didn’t expect me to be so angry about it. The fiance of my FH’s best friend has since been extremely cold and mean to me. In public she states to others that my ring is a hand-me-down and I got “lucky”, while hers her FH paid for all on his own. She has never once asked to see my ring or said Congratulations in a way that I ever felt as though she meant it.
I have been biting my tounge the past two weeks, but I’m not sure how much longer I can do it. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I don’t even want them at my wedding, or that they only get ONE day and I won’t sacrafice my special day because they’re too busy.
I’m trying not to be so hurt by this, and my FH doesn’t really want to approach the subject with his best friend. But we’ve only been engaged for two weeks and I already feel as though they are forcing us to decide on everything according to their schedule. It’s asanine! I know.
How would everyone else go about dealing with this?
Post # 3
First of all, (sincere) congratulations on your engagement! Second, that is really hurtful, and I am sorry they are acting that way. I feel like weddings can get competitive in situations like this, and that’s such a shame.
You by no means need to have a spring wedding because FI’s best friend says so.
The complication, of course, is that I’m sure your Fiance wants his best friend to be involved. You and your Fiance need to decide how to make yourselves happy and whether/how involved he wants his best friend to be.
As for FI’s best friend’s fiance, I’d try to ignore her and/or kill her with kindness. To me, it doesn’t sound like you’d get anywhere at all if you tried to talk to her. Her comments are mean and immature, and you should be thankful that you’re a much nicer person and are with a man who is more conscientious of the feelings of others.
Post # 4
First of all, breathe! Definitely calm down and just enjoy being engaged. I know it’s hard, but not everyone is going to be excited or happy for you and you just have to let those comments roll off your back.
You shouldn’t discuss your plans with anyone right now. You did the right thing by saying you aren’t sure and you’ll get back to them. It was really inappropriate for them to start badgering you right away about your wedding date, totally pulling the rug out from under you when you had exciting news to share. That unfortuantly screams that they aren’t real friends.
You are totally right, they only get one day. This is something they will hopefully realize with time. But for now, go ahead and plan your wedding in October and enjoy your engagement!
Post # 5
Congratulations on your engagement!! Yaaaaa!!!
You don’t have to justify yourself to anybody. Just get the date you guys want and are comfortable with. And that’s that. It can only be a blessing in disguise if they can’t show up to your wedding.
Post # 6
First of all, congrats to you on your engagement!
Now-They are being really inappropriate. You need to just worry about YOUR wedding, don’t get involved in the drama, and if the date doesn’t work out for them the earth isn’t going to stop spinning and they’ll get over it.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone! I appreciate the kind words and wish I was strong enough to let it all slide right off of my back. I’m going to be doing a lot more yoga than usual! Haha.