- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
I know that so many people have this problem and its so frustrating, I need opinions. I have a venue which holds 70 max, which means 35 each. It is a destination wedding in Northern Ireland, so I figured we’d have a lot of declines anyway, but I can’t count on that or it could backfire. My fiance is from Belgium and I’m from the US but my parents are from the Czech and Slovak republics.
My problems is that my family on the Slovak side is big, and as I hear ettiquette requires me to invite family first. This I don’t understand. I’d much rather have my friends there than that side of the family. My dad’s side of the family is great, and I see them fairly often and we communicate. I’ve been to their weddings so its no problem.
My mom’s side is the problematic one. My mom has passed away and since then I haven’t really seen them or communicated with them. If my mom were alive, I know they would all be invited. Only one is married and I was given a curtosy invite like a month before the wedding and my aunt clearly said, “but you wouldn’t come anyway.” This family includes 5 people, and really I would only like one of thoes to come which is my cousine (not the one who’s married). But I can’t just invite the one without inviting everyone else, I feel.
I don’t mind my uncle’s family, but again if I was to choose who I’d want to celebrate with, they really wouldn’t be on that list. Its only becasue my mom had 4 brothers and sisters! That’s 4 people in this family.
One aunt we never communicated with so that’s a non issue. She is not invited.
The problem is the last aunt who I get along with and who’s actually been there for me. She went to my college graduation, she greets me during holidays, and I’m good friends with her daughter, my cousine. So I def want to invite my cousine and this aunt.
My problem is that I risk insulting the aunt I like by not inviting her other siblings and their families. The other families will be insulted if they don’t get invited.
If I invite them instead of my close friends, my firends will be insulted. In the end someone is going to be insulted.
My dad says they won’t come anyway, but I’m sacred they’ll take this as an opportunity to have a family reunion or something since they haven’t seen my dad or brother in forver, since he avoids them too.
Right now they are on my B list.
My fiance on the other hand isn’t close with his cousins and none of them invited him to their wedding, that’s what their family does, so he came up with a count that is under the number but since my dad and his dad are splitting costs of the wedding his dad decided to invite 3 random couples that me nor fiance have met. He says they won’t come anyway, but I’m betting they’ll be there, and we can’t very well say no since he’s paying. So that’s really frustrating since we agreed that if I have more guests than catering would not be split equally.
Anyway, sorry this is so long, I’d just like some opinions.