Post # 1
So I understand the importance of it being OUR wedding and to make it reflect US and not to worry about anyone else – really, I understand it. Fiance and I were talking about making some changes to make it more like ours such as a modern invite and cake balls for the cake…and then I told my (never too enthusiastic) mother and I began to doubt myself.
Fiance said, “Janana, do what makes you happy.” I replied, “FI, the irony of it all is that I like to make other people happy.”
Lord help be a little selfish.
Post # 3
Well then, if that makes you happy, then don’t change.
Post # 4
Janana- I think I know where you are coming from. I am also a pleaser and a helped, but that is not always healthy.
Try to make decisions that are good for you and Fiance. This is your wedding and you have every right to make your wedding feel personal.
My mother is also not Captain Enthusiastic, so I have had to learn to ignore her a lot and not ask for her approval in decisions. It does hurt because I want her to be excited about this wedding, but I have learned to find joy through planning with Fiance.
My only advice is make decisions that are healthy for you and don’t doubt yourself when others are complaining. I know exactly how hard that is to do!
P.S. we are almost date twins!
Post # 5
I agree with your Fiance. This is a time we should be ‘allowed’ to be a little selfish (with the understanding that it doesn’t give us carte blanche to be bridezillas)! I too have the people pleasing issue – I am always checking, double checking and triple checking with other people to make sure that what I am choosing or considering is ‘ok’ or ‘right.’ When I honestly sit down and think about it, it’s rather silly. We’re all adults, and what makes us happy on that day (us being the bee and the FI), should be what is done and what’s ‘right.’ I think perhaps we need to re-assure ourselves as opposed to always looking for outside re-assurance. Afterall, we are our own worst critic and we should also be our own best friend, our own cheerleader, our own encouragement, and our own determination. (but yes, my Fiance also is one who says ‘Bella, just do what makes you happy…’ so I know exactly what you mean).
Best of Luck,
Post # 6
Thanks for the comments ladies!
@Bella Luna, I like what you said about us being our own worst enemies but we should try and be our own best friends as well – so true!
Thanks for the kind words!