(Closed) The Journey of TTC After Miscarriage Part II

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 77
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@mysterybee123:  thanks for your kind words, and I’m glad to be of help! “I’m sorry” actually is comforting to me because it validates that I had something I deeply cared about and I lost it, whereas to most of the world I have to pretend like nothing I has happened. So thank you πŸ™‚

@steelframe:  I’m glad it meant something to you πŸ™‚ I’ll be keeping my FX for you x 

@Pand0ra:  wonderful update! Ill be hoping and praying the rest of your pregnancy is unbelievably boring and uneventful until you get to hold your healthy LO πŸ™‚

@hippomama:  Bittersweet isn’t it. I never appreciated being able to have two conflicting emotions at the same time, but pregnancy and birth announcements after MC will do that to you. We were on the October boards together so I know its harder as we get closer to our old due dates.

@nonimouse12:  I am very lucky, my cycles have always been regular and that hasn’t changed after 3 miscarriages. On the seeking medical help question, in my experiences miscarriages count towards that total, they don’t reset it. I believe the criteria is 12 months of unprotected sex without producing a successful pregnancy. If you’re older or have underlying concerns like PCOS, Endo or recurrent miscarriage they look into it after 6 months (at least in Australia that is). It can also vary doctor to doctor. Good luck to you xx

Post # 78
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

So bees, this is the OPK result I just got on day 12 in the PM. Blazing positive. And I can’t use it to make a baby. And it’s frustrating. I won’t lie there was a part of me that looked at it and wanted to go for it anyway. But I don’t know whether I could forgive myself for getting pregnant deliberately if the RPL tests came back positive for autoimmune antibodies and I MCed again. It just feels like a waste though. I better get one this positive next month, that’s all I can say about that. Oh, and this OPK was taken on a whim because I was feeling off so I just happened to stumble across my LH surge a day earlier than it normally happens. I sort of wish I hadn’t taken it now. Oh well – I’m lucky to get a + at all, Gd knows some women would kill for that result. Rambling vent over – thanks for listening πŸ™‚

Post # 79
Member
1138 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@almajele:  That’s frustrating, sorry you’re having to wait πŸ™ I bet you will be glad you did, though. 

Post # 80
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Looks like my optimism was short lived.  I started spotting 2 days after seeing a heartbeat.  Ultrasound today  confirmed that I miscarried again. 

Post # 81
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mtler:  I came here to post my own trauma, and I saw your sad news. I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry. Your heart must be broken. I know mine is. We’ll get through this, somehow.

I had some brown spotting that started on Sunday. It has come and gone since then but never reached the point of a flow. It never changed to pink or red. They drew blood and I got my first beta HCG result on Tuesday. It was on the low end of normal. I got my follow up results today, and my numbers didn’t double. They just barely crept up. So I’m assuming I’m going to experience another miscarriage. My second miscarriage. Wow. I never dreamt I’d find myself in that category. I feel so broken. Just broken. I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I can’t imagine ever trying again after this because I don’t trust my body to do it right in the future. I’m still not bleeding, and I still feel pregnant. I’m just waiting.  

Post # 82
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@mtler:  I am so unbelievably sorry to hear this.

@mysterybee123:  I am so sorry.

to both of you: my heart breaks that you have to go through this pain. From my experiences the second miscarriage is more painful than the first. We tell ourselves after a first that it was just a fluke, but after a second loss it becomes harder to drown out the fear and anxiety that there is something wrong that is causing this. So in addition to mourning your new loss you’re questioning whether your dream will ever be possible. Having your worst nightmare come true is a terrifying experience. But then somehow you get through it and there is power in knowing you’ve faced your biggest fear and survived it. This experience will break you into pieces, but then those pieces will come back together again into an even stronger version of yourself. And I can say this even after 3 MCs. The odds are still on your side. We will have our rainbow babies. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you both in this impossibly difficult time. And don’t hesitate to PM me if you need a place to vent xx

Post # 83
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mysterybee123:  Broken is the perfect way to describe this feeling.  I am so sorry you are going through this too. After the first mc i thought we had used up all our bad luck but apparently not! I really hope things work out better for you than they did for me.  Today i feel like i never want to be pregnant again but i know that feeling will change. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts, maybe i used up all of the bad luck this week so there is only good luck left for you! I really hope so.

Post # 84
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@almajele:  You sumed up my thoughts so well, the road ahead scares me the most right now. Not only do I still need to evict this thing but then starts the pain of figuring out what’s wrong.  Thanks for the support amd kind words.

Post # 85
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mtler:  How are you doing this weekend? I have been thinking of you.  

Post # 86
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mysterybee123:  I was going to ask you the same, you beat me to it.

I’m trucking along. This whole thing has been such a roller coaster that i think i am a bit relieved to at least have an answer. Just spending quality time with the hubs and praying that I start beeding on my own. How are you holding up?

Post # 87
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mtler:  I do much better during the day than at night. I don’t have answers yet. No bleeding, no ultrasound. Just the discouraging news from the hgc results. What options has your doctor given you? Does he/she suggest a plan going forward? Are you even ready to think about that yet? 

Post # 88
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mysterybee123:  I havent spoken to m dr yet so I am not really sure. I need to figure out a plan of action to deal with the immediate mc, d and c vs meds. Then i need to figure out why this has happened twice. I see my endocrinologist on wed and we will likely discuss metformin and i am not sure what tests are an option.  I am pretty sure this isnt a fluke.

The waiting is the worst isn’t it!?! I have no patience for it. What is ur plan? I hope you get good news!!!

Post # 89
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mtler:  Thank you. The waiting sucks. What makes it worse is that my doctor is unsensitive to my concerns. She doesn’t even want to refer me to an OB (you need a referral where I live), much less a specialist until I have had 3 miscarriages in a row. I feel lost and alone. 

Post # 90
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mtler:  I’m so sorry for this awful news. I know nothing helps but I’m just so so sorry

@mysterybee123:  also so so so sorry for this too. Hugs πŸ™ lots of hugs 

ladies, I read the ebook sperm meets egg this weekend. I was at a place of feeling hopeless last week and angry for the bfn’s. this gavee some hope… has anyone had any luck with this.. We r using it this month.

This springboardEd a good convo with dh since our cp/ mc. His side. He’s done everything he can to be Strong for me the past month. And he just broke down. Broke my heart. I knew he was upset. But I didn’t have any idea how mUch.

well cd2… Lets hope for a good July! 

Post # 91
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@mtler:  Re testing: I just had the RPL test after MC #3. It’s a big blood draw and tests for all common causes of recurrent miscarriage. My OB was reluctant to do it after MC #2, but monitored the 3rd pregnancy very closely and decided it was worth it after that one ended too. If you’re convinced it isnt a fluke maybe you can push for testing before TTC again (especially if you’ve got underlying autoimmune/thyroid concerns)

@mysterybee123:  I’m sorry your doctor is so insensitive – can you insist? Or go out of area to find someone who will help you?

I’m so sorry to hear you’re both still in limbo. With my recent MC I found out it was going to happen at 6 weeks and didn’t start bleeding until almost 8 weeks. Those two weeks were so hard and spent most of them feeling angry and cynical at the world. 

The topic ‘The Journey of TTC After Miscarriage Part II’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors