(Closed) The Let Down AFTER the Wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When I moved to be with SO I was okay for a few months and then 4 months in BAM I went through some crazy homesickness. It was terrible so I can imagine that settling into married life AND a new city must be really hard. 

i worked through it by focusing on doing things that I loved in my new city. I might not be able to go to happy hour with my buddies, but I can go to a coffee shop and read a cheesy book!

Post # 4
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Time to get active in your new city or you will quickly grow to resent your hubby. Group at church, sports team, etc are perfect ways to meet new people. It’s hard moving, no matter how old you are and no matter how much you’ve planned it out.

Post # 6
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MrsConnick:  Hey hun, I’m dealing with the same thing right now.  I got married in October and just haven’t been the same since.  It’s like, everything is over and I’m having a serious case of, ok, now…what…?  I’ve been told to really throw yourself into hobbies or something, so I’m giving that a shot, too.  Feel free to msg me if you need anything!  Keep us posted on how you’re doing!

Post # 8
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

I completely understand, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it’s sometimes almost inevitable. I’m not engaged yet, but we did go through some serious adjustment when we moved in together. It takes a lot to be with someone every night, to learn to give each other space sometimes and not feel insecure, to learn to deal with each other’s annoying little habits, to adjust to a new area or city. My advice would be to take it easy with yourself. Relax and do what you like to do, invest in time spent on your own without feeling guilty. You might need it right now, and he might as well. At the same time, you two should plan some events/date nights together. We would regularly go to a pub in the area, just the two of us. We would walk there holding hands, and chat through the night. Or, we would go out to our favorite store for the day (Cabela’s). So, invest in time for yourself and invest in time specifically for the two of you. And definitely get involved in the community, or have a fun day of exploring nice areas of the city or coffee shops, stores, etc. Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
11343 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I definitely did! I first experienced some disappointments involving my wedding (timeline was thrown off, didn’t get to greet or mingle with most of my guests, took pics until the end of the night and kept the veil on the entire time, pics weren’t as good as I hoped, didn’t like some things about the fit of my gown, etc.), so I was feeling extremely sad immediately after my wedding. As soon as we returned from our honeymoon, I had to start commuting between two towns that are three hours apart in two different states (spending part of the time with Darling Husband at his house and the rest of the week in my city) for most of our first married year until my house sold and I could wrap up my job and relocate to be with Darling Husband full time. Not only did I have to leave behind my career and all my friends, a wonderful church, a major metro area, and everything that had been familiar to me, but I also relocated to a small town in a very rural area. In addition, by marrying Darling Husband, I also became a stepmom to tweens/teens. It was an extremely difficult transition for me.  However, now that I’ve been married for more than two years, it is starting to feel normal for me. You will adjust, but you definitely need to allow yourself the time to grieve the loss of the life you once had and to become accustomed to the new life you have chosen.

Post # 11
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I went through this for about a month after my wedding. The day after I got married I cried for hours: I felt like everything was wrong, & it was all a big show for my guests. I even felt insecure about my body image: a problem that I’ve never had before.

When I finally got back into my pre-wedding routine I started to feel like myself again. Weddings take a lot of emotional energy: The fact that you didn’t get to go back to your usual means you’ve got to find a new balance & it’s hard.

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