- 1 month ago
My boyfriend set up a time line the start of last year that he would propose by the end of 2018. He told me at the start of the year he is getting his finances in order to get a ring so I sent him some pictures of the style I would want. Come spring time he said he had the ring, we went away during the summer very last minute and I asked why didn’t he ask, he replied he didn’t have enough time to get it as it’s in the safe which we filled with junk from when I moved in (spring time).
Summer was a hard time for us as my boyfriend left his stable job to set up his own company. He didn’t leave work on good terms as they had basically scammed him out of his bonus (for a couple of months). He works long, hard hours but we get by, we have got a roof over our heads and warm food in our belly and enough for some small treats but we don’t have savings.
November comes along and we went away on a romantic weekend away, we stayed in a cottage in the middle of nowhere with a hot tub. I was so sure that this is it. He didn’t ask, I asked why, he said hes still got time, it’s not the end of the deadline yet, I badgered him about it as I just felt that he didn’t want to anymore, we had a massive argument about it, with him saying it’s just a piece of paper, i retorted that money is only paper but you work hard for that. The way I view marriage is it’s the roof of a relationship.
He admitted he didn’t have the ring, his bonus was going to pay for my ring and he didn’t get his bonus, he has been working his arse off to get me a ring and hasn’t been able to, I said it doesn’t matter how much the ring cost it’s the meaning and commitment behind it. We don’t want a massive wedding, church in grandparents village and a village hall party afterwards, nothing fancy.
I asked if the time line needed to be pushed back, he said no. I asked 3 times since he revealed the truth if the time line needs to be pushed back he replied no each time. I just want the truth, I don’t want to be strung along.
New year has came and guess what? No ring. He said he tried to get the money together, doesn’t want to get in debt (I agree no debt), doesn’t want to get me a cheap ring, he said sorry time and time again, he should have said something but his pride wouldn’t allow him too.
it sounds like excuses to me, the lies and the lies has changed the way I feel about him, I feel hurt, more reserved with him. He’s not a man of his word, he’s quite spineless actually, would I want to marry a man who isn’t true to his word? Does he really want to be with me or just chatting shit to keep me quiet?
If he proposed now I would say no, it would be a shut up ring. I just don’t know what to do, I am hurt by his lying. I do love him and he is a good man, we have a good relationship apart from this massive problem, it’s like the pink elephant in the room, we don’t talk about it anymore it gets us nowhere, we have talked as much as we can about it, he thinks I don’t see it from is point of view and I feel he isn’t recognising how much he as hurt me.
I don’t think I will get over this, the way I view him has changed, he has lost my respect. I don’t think we can move on from this.
What should I do?
Rant over 😕.