(Closed) the list of invitees…uggh

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ugh. About your mom, I would flat out say that you don’t feel right adding people on the list you’re not even close to when you have good friends you really wish could come who you couldn’t afford to invite, and they are the ones who would be invited if you could stretch the list any further.

I’ve flat out ignored those FB posts – actually just got one in message form this morning. She isn’t on my or FI’s friends list, he doesn’t even know who she is, apparantely some distant relative on his moms’ side since she is a mutual friend on FB. If you don’t know them just ignore. If you do and would feel bad ignoring, say that you’re very excited for the wedding but unfortunately had to keep the guest list small since your budget is very tight.

Post # 4
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I know how that is, unfortunately you just have to make a solid NO and change the subject.  I don’t understand why people, especially family, want to make specticals of our weddings.  Delete the comments from people demanding invites, that is what I did.  It is just flat rude to invite yourself to anything, and I don’t tolerate bad manners well, esp of FB.

Post # 5
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MrsTimmy: It actually Seems like your mom is thinking about your best interest; “My mom keeps say Trish (the friend) and her husband are doctors, they will cover their plates”.  My mom has told me not to invite certain family members because she knows that they have a history of attending weddings and not giving gifts, not even a card.  As for your relatives on FB, be honest, tell them you’re having an intimate wedding and although you’d love for them to be able to share in this joyous occasion with you, you simply cant afford it, If they love you I’m sure they’ll understand.  Good luck

Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsTimmy: It’s good you are older then. You have a firmer foundation to say “no” to people’s requests than say a 24 yo who is depending on her mother to pay for stuff.

Stand your ground and repead ad nasuem “We are having a small wedding, family only”

Post # 9
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee

@MrsTimmy:

 

I would gently & lovingly remind her this day is about YOU and your fiance and ONLY you and your fiance.  

 

 

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