(Closed) The "Loser" Table

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee

Why are you putting so much stock into what is ultimately an incredibly rude, self-centered thing to say to someone who hosted you at their wedding? If someone told me that I seated them at the loser table, I would be really offended that they called my other guests “losers.” They would be talking about my family or dear friends of mine. These people are in the wrong, you have nothing to feel bad about.

Post # 3
Member
343 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
ccbride0520 :  well, you kind of have to get over what they are saying to you, because what’s done is done. In addition, they are being rude to keep bringing this up after so much time has passed in addition to calling your guests “losers” I would just stop reacting to them/ change the subject when they talk about it because if you tell them that you no longer want to talk about it, then they might get awkward and you’ll have a whole new problem on your hands. 

You did the best you could on a pretty stressful albeit happy day.

Post # 4
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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ccbride0520 :  While I totally understand how you feel because I would feel the exact same way if someone said that to me about my wedding, I’d quickly remind myself how effing RUDE it is to tell someone how bad of a time you had at their wedding!! Like….YUCK! These people are beyond mean and selfish. Politely tell them that you wish they had had a better time and also wish they would stop speaking ill of the best day of your life and calling your friends and family losers.

Post # 5
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee

The same exact thing happened to me except I didn’t really hear the complaint directly, I heard it from a friend of mine the complainer ended up griping to while booking a trip (the listening friend is a travel agent whose name I passed along to the complainer). My travel agent friend was so disgusted with my complaining friend she called me to tell me what was said. It wasn’t good. To date, the complainer was the only one who felt this way and said mean things about my wedding that I know of. She called it “terrible,” mostly in reference to who she was sitting next to (the best man! We didn’t have a head table). 

At first it really bugged me because I worked so hard at the seating chart and including this person in a few small ways in the actual wedding. I, too, thought this friend was someone I need not worry about. But then I thought about it critically. This person is ALWAYS complaining and never happy…why should my wedding be any different? Also, I saw her laughing and heard from many she was egging the best man on with his “inappropriate joke telling.” If she was so offended she shouldn’t have egged him on. I wasn’t responsible for any of that. Many people who hadn’t met the best man prior to the wedding thought he was pretty funny and, in their opinion, not inappropriate. So I ultimately took it all with a grain of salt and the old saying, “you can’t please everyone.” I also considered the (malcontent) source. Now, I’m pretty much over it….and the complaining “friend.”

 Personally, I think anyone who calls a seating arrangement a “loser table” is, in fact, a loser for saying so. As if any of us brides would ever purposely set out to create a shitty seating arrangement on one of the most special days of our lives. Really. What kind of friend would actually think this AND belabor this erroneous thought?

Post # 6
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

It really must have bothered them to mention it to you after so long. However, you did the best you could. They need to get over it. Surely, they could mingle if they wanted to see their other friends. 

I attended a wedding where I knew everyone at my table except one couple, but there was one couple in our social circle that wasn’t at our table. We realized there was just an error in the seating chart. They ended trading places, but both couples were so gracious even though they had been seated in error. That would have been the right way for your disgruntled guests to approach the seating at your wedding. Don’t let it get to you!

Post # 7
Member
925 posts
Busy bee

They’re being ridiculous and are actually acting like the losers they so despise right now.  They need to build a bridge and get over it and you need to stop indulging their crappy behavior. 

Post # 8
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It was incredibly rude for her to make that comment, both because she was trying to make you feel like a bad host and because it involved insulting some of your other guests. Holy cow. What did she find so objectionable about the other guests at her table?

The “loser table” is a long running joke about the wedding experience, you see it in movies (often the weird singles/awkward teenagers table). But you don’t go up to a bride and complain about the seating arrangements months later. What did she think that would accomplish? It sounds purely spiteful, and she sounds snobbish. Please let it go. You did nothing wrong. And yeah, seating charts can get really complicated, especially with particular family dynamics in play.

Post # 9
Member
806 posts
Busy bee

I went to a wedding once were I was put with a group of people while all my best friends sat at another table ,and yes I did feel a bit weird about it, but I got over it quickly and spent most of time on the dance floor with my friends anyway. Who cares in the end? What your friend said would definitely eat me away too but at the same time she was pretty insulting with her words. Remember you did nothing wrong in the end. You had a great wedding and nothing needed to be different. 

Post # 10
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

They do realize they’re calling your guests losers, right? How self-absorbed and just plain snotty! Sorry you’re experiencing this. 😔💕

Post # 11
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

My parents were once placed on the ‘loser’s table’ at a relative’s wedding about 5 or 6 years ago and to this date it still offends me when I think about it. However I would never, and have never complained about it (this is the first time I’ve ever mentioned in on wedding bee ;), and your friend should have kept quiet as well. This is also why I am going to connect all the tables together and have no separated or sweetheart tables when I get married 

Post # 12
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee

How ungracious and what awful people. The allocated seat is only to eat, no ones chaining you to it for the whole night. The only regret I would have is inviting them at all! Honestly at this point, since they are still complaining about it, I would get in touch to ask them to STFU (I typed a much more gracious way to approach it but…. Meh. They really grind me gears, people like this).

Post # 13
Member
462 posts
Helper bee

To make you feel better, at least your friend was allocated a seat. She should be thankful for that. My cousin was super insulted when she attended a wedding and there was no seat allocated to her and her husband. Their excuse was that she did not ‘accept’ the Facebook invitation so they thought she wasn’t attending (my cousin is literally on Facebook 6 times a year and her husband doesn’t have an account; she told them that they were coming but I guess you also need to click ‘accept’ on Facebook)

Post # 14
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

View original reply
ccbride0520 :  Wow, rude much?

She had a seat and she (presumably) has legs. Is she unable to get up and go speak to other people? That’s what I do at Weddings – I very rarely stay at my table the whole night.

I really wouldn’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things and I don’t think there is such a thing as a “loser table” – I’ve been to events where I’ve known nobody except the host and had a wonderful time meeting new people. It’s not hard.

Post # 15
Member
7553 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
ccbride0520 :  I think they are incredibly rude to a) have brought it up and b) called your other guests loved ones losers. As such – the amount of fucks I would give about this would be decreasing NOT increasing.

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