(Closed) The magic is gone.

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
1 posts

Run! I had a relationahip just like the one you described. Now I look at it as a waste of 8 years of my young life. I met my husband 8 months after I left that guy, and I thank my lucky stars that I left even though it scared me. RUN.

Post # 32
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’ve been with my husband 9 years and am still excited to be with him everyday and we are constantly dreaming about our future together. If anything, it’s getting better with time

Don’t sign up for a life of mediocrity 

Post # 33
142 posts
Blushing bee

If you aren’t feeling hopeful and excited about you future with him that’s probably a sign that you don’t want a future with him. Or possibly you’re just jaded and upset that you’ve been waiting so long. Take a step back and really give yourself time to think if it’s him and a future with him that you still want. If it’s just convenient and expected but you aren’t excited about it, you shouldn’t just go along for the ride. This is your whole life we’re talking about. 

But to be honest sometimes love goes in and out in waves. Do some real work to see if you’re still compatible and if you still want a life together. And be honest with him if you don’t. 

Post # 34
1189 posts
Bumble bee

Here’s a question…. do you feel like maybe part of your lack of feelings about getting engaged is because you really haven’t gotten over or forgiven him for the initial break up? I mean…. if you were devastated and didn’t see the break up coming, then moving on from it and opening your heart again would be difficult…. it’s hard anyways! but then, giving person that hurt you a second chance?? 

Do you really trust him? Do you believe that he really is in this for the long haul?  If part of your hesitation or lack of excitement is due to lack of trust or because you are harboring some resentment for the past hurt… I woudl totally understand that.

If there was a gold medal for harboring resentment and holding a grudge, I would be an Olympic champion. I don’t want to be that way, but it takes me a whole lot longer than most people to deal with hurt, process what happened, and move on. Maybe you just need a little more time to feel comfortable with the relationship as a whole.

Just my 2 cents… but hopefully some food for thought!

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