Post # 1
OH.. I’m heart broken and brand new to weddingbee. I need some advise, bad!
So let me explain my problem. So… My Maid/Matron of Honor couldn’t come dress shoping with my mother and I today because she had a pre planed “social event.” That was more important than coming to help her best friend of 15 years find my wedding dress. So off me and my mom went to buy my dress! I love it! It’s not what I thought I was going to wear for a beach wedding, but when you love the dress you gotta have it!
Anyways, so after I purchased the dress I texted her asking her what she thoughand she had to say…
“To be honest, I don’t like it. It’s a beautiful dress, I think the veil is too much, I just don’t think it all goes together. I had another vision for you in a dress that shows off your figure. But It’s not my dress, you will look beautifiul as always… You have such a good figur, I feel like for an outdoor wedding like you want the dress seems to heavy for you. I’m sorry if it upsets you. I just think you should keep looking and if you can’t get this dress out of your head then its the one.”
Bleh! All this the week my fiance and best friend in the whole world is heading to Afghanistan for 6 months… Now I don’t have his shoulder to cry on! I just don’t know how to tell her that A. she hurt my feelings and B. That some times you just don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. HELP!
Post # 3
Ew. What an awful thing to say.
Even if I *hated* a dress that my bff picked out, I’d NEVER give her the slightest clue that I wasn’t fond of it.
It’s YOUR dress and YOUR wedding. Who cares if she likes it? You’re going to be beautiful, and as long as you and your Fiance love it, everyone else can go take a hike. 😉
Post # 4
Put this in perspective. She is one person with one opinion. I doubt every bride’s Maid/Matron of Honor agrees with the bride’s choice but in the end it is the BRIDE’s choice. Pick what you like, you’re the one getting married in it.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you feel un-supported, and I’m sorry you’re disappointed. However, you asked what she thought and she gave you an honest, and nicely worded, response. You said yourself it’s not what you expected. If you’ve talked about visions, then I think she’s fairly pointing out that it’s not what you had planned on. I think you should text back with something like:
“I know! It wasn’t what I was expecting but I absolutely love it! I think you will love it too :)”
And leave it at that. She will absolutely support you on that decision (I think her text points that out). If you just wanted affirmation, you should have texted her with something like “I found it!!!”, not asked for an opinion you weren’t interested in hearing.
Again, I’m sorry you aren’t feeling great about her response, but we all expect our BFF to be honest and understanding. For what it’s worth, I think the way a bride feels about her dress is the best indication of how she will look and feel on her wedding day, no one else can tell you what is right. I’m sure it is beautiful!!
Post # 6
You asked, she told you the truth about what she thought. It sometimes sucks when friends are a little too honest when we just wanted to hear something supportive, but in the end don’t worry. Sometimes things need to grow on people or the look needs to be totally put together before people get to the point of loving it!
Post # 7
You asked for her opinion and she gave it to you. It’s not as if she was all “Uh, no, that’s the fugliest thing I’ve ever seen” or said it looks digusting on you. She just said she didn’t like it. But she says: It’s a beautiful dress….you will look beautifiul as always…You have such a good figure… if you can’t get this dress out of your head then its the one…. She obviously didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Not everyone is going to like your dress – not everyone likes mine. The only thing that matters is that you like it, which you obviously do. So relax. I’m sorry about your Fiance, though – that must be tough. Hope all goes well 🙂
Post # 8
Well, she was being honest. I hope you just let it roll off your shoulder, even if she was being too honest she wasn’t brutal.
For the record, I bet it looks GORGEOUS! I’m such a huge fan of wedding dresses. 🙂
Hope everything works out for the best between you two.
Post # 9
Nothing she said was rude or inappropriate.
You asked, she said.
If you love it, it does not matter what the Maid/Matron of Honor thinks.
Post # 10
I can understand that your upset, but Ive learned the hard way also..Ask and you shall receive..sucks that she couldnt just * smile and text* ( lol) and say she loved it since she knew you loved it!
Post # 11
Never ask for an opinion unless you really want to hear it!!!
Sadly some people when asked for an opinion take it as a signal to go for it! …..One of my relatives wore a wedding dress that I really didn’t think looked very good on her…but as I saw it after she had bought it, I wasn’t about to tell her that IMO she could have bought a better dress….but of course she never asked me what I thought of it!!
I wouldn’t worry about it too much….As well as the negative views, there were supportive comments in the message too.
You love the dress and it was obviously right for you, you sound thrilled with it which is just how it is supposed to be – that is the most important thing! I adore my dress and if other people don’t think it was the right dress for me then who cares. That is why I am not going to put a pic of it on wedding bee and ask what people think…because it is my dress, it was the one I always wanted and I felt like a princess in it! Other people’s opinions of it don’t matter.
Post # 13
I’m sorry your upset by what your best friend said ……… but i would expect my best friend to tell me the truth. Did you want her to lie to you?
It’s her opinion, if you love the dress then thats all that matters.
People don’t ask me what i think unless they want the truth.
Post # 14
I’m also a newbie too, and I’m sooo jealous that you are at the dress choosing stage! To be honest I would have to say that the only way for someone to really be able to see your dress in all it’s splendour is to be in the same place as you are when you have it on. I was a bridesmaid for my sister-in-law and the maid of honour lifted a bridesmaids dress up and my sister-in-law said “no way are you girls wearing that!” but we all put one on anyway and she was nearly in tears! As soon as she saw us all standing in a row she said “Omg stunning!”
I’m not so sure that I would ask anyone else’s opinion about my choice of wedding dress, and I don’t think I would too annoyed if someone said they didn’t like it either. Though I would be annoyed if my groom didn’t like it.
Maybe your maid of honour really did feel she couldn’t back out of a previously planned event. I know that your wedding is important and you may feel annoyed that she was not there but most brides I have known in the past have chosen the dress with only their mother present. The memory of you choosing your wedding dress with your mother should not be spoiled by this. It’s a very happy day for you and it’s a day some women dream of for a very long time.
Post # 15
I’d be disappointed if my closest friend couldn’t be honest with me. (She is, after all, the one that you NEED on your big day to tell you if your hair/make up isn’t perfect etc instead of smiling and saying it’s fine!). If you love your dress, it doesn’t matter anyway. If it genuinely is causing you to doubt your decision – take her advice and look until you’re sure. As she said, you will look beautiful on your wedding day – she just wants you to be 100% sure – that’s her job!
Post # 16
She was just being honest. An admirable trait in a friend and maid of honor. Not only that but she was nice about it too, making a point to try and not hurt your feelings. From what I’ve seen on these boards, most are not so considerate. I’d consider yourself lucky.