(Closed) The “Mommy” Syndrome

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Are you his "mommy"?
    YES : (3 votes)
    6 %
    NO : (25 votes)
    52 %
    SOMETIMES : (20 votes)
    42 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9669 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    No, I’m absolutely not his “mommy.”  His real mommy is wonderful and did a great job of raising him; he doesn’t need another one.  The mommy thing is so not sexy!  I wouldn’t be able to handle it.  We’re both adults and we both take care of our home, etc., equally well.  I’m lucky!  I would hate it so much if I had to do that. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5296 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    @Sunfire:  pretty much this! Darling Husband is probably more of a neat freak than me. I don’t think I’ve ever had to pick up his clothes before! And that’s fine with me 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Yeah, no.  I’m not his “mommy” and I won’t act like I am.  We are both equally responsible for cleaning the house. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3601 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    Yes, it should be the one who made the mess. Tell HIM to clean it instead of doing it for him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @happyface:  i can relate for sure. When SO comes to visit, he makes A MESS  everywhere he goes. He has been getting better about it (after many a freak-out on my end lol) but still…don’t behave like a perfect gentleman out in public and then let it all hang out around me. Ugh!!! Lol can you imagine if us women did the same??

    Post # 8
    Member
    2999 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Ohhh boy do I relate to this. My SO and I have had a few discussions about this. He was doing reallyw ell about taking his clothes to the laundry basket out of the bathroom and then stopped….I reiterated. He almost started doing it again. So now, when he leaves his underwear in there I hang them in the window. He promptly puts them in the basket lol.

    Post # 9
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    It’s not what I signed up for but yes. I hate it. I’m not at all a nurturing person so I don’t ‘feel warm inside knowing I’m looking after him’. His mum did everything for him when he lived at home. He didn’t even know how to put a doona cover on until I asked for his help a couple of months ago.

    Being a housewife is number one in the list of ‘jobs I do not want to have’, and yet that is what my job essentially is.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    Nope, not at all.  It is part of why I am happy I went back to work post-baby because being me a housewife wouldn’t be good for our dynamic as a couple. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Sunfire:  I’m with you. Darling Husband is often more considerate with this stuff than I am. He certainly is the one who takes care of me most of the time!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2077 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I work from home doing data entry and can make my own hours, so I essential am a housewife.  I like being the one to scour the house, cook large meals, and make sure all of the daily chores are done.  I am a bit anal about the level of cleanliness in the bathroom and kitchen, and only feel like it’s done right when I do it (OCD much?), so being the one “in charge” of the housework doesn’t bother me in the least.

    This does NOT mean he treats me like his mommy.  My Fiance is a grown man who can put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, hang his wet towel on the back of the door, and clean up kitchen messes he makes.  If he makes a mess, he’s expected to clean it up!

    ETA-  I admit that our room is almost always messy, but I’m usually the one who leaves dirty clothes on the floor for a couple days at a time, not him!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m currently not working, so I do all of the cooking and cleaning for us. However, I will get mad if he leaves dirty clothes on the floor or leaves empty glasses around the house. There’s a difference between being a housewife and a maid. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I can relate. It’s not sexy. It grosses me out. I do not want to be his mother. He’s gotten better, but it’s still something I’m working on with him.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    6248 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    That’s kind of creepy lol.  Thank goodness Fiance cleans up after himself.  He even cleans his own bathroom!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Luckily my Fiance is actually neater and cleaner than I am. But if he did that, I would take a page from my mother’s book and do what she used to do with my brother: collect all the mess (wet towel and cereal bowl included) and leave it on his side of the bed for when he comes home!

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