(Closed) The most dreaded 2-syllable word of my life – PRENUP

posted 6 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

He seems like he’s being harsh. I’d sit him down nicely, and explain to him the parts you are taking issue with. Perhaps he can have the lawyers who drew it up meet with you both, to amend it? 

Post # 4
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The whole point of a prenup is to protect both parties. My understanding is that it should be negotiated back and forth until both sides are in agreement to the terms – he shouldn’t just hand one over and say “Sign it, or else.” Do you have a lawyer? Have them look over it and express your concerns.

Post # 5
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would absolutely NOT sign anything without having my own lawyer review it.

Post # 6
Member
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you need to sit down with him and the lawyer and figure it out. Obviously don’t sign anything you’re not comfortable with. Make sure you get one you’re okay with.. and if not.. then i guess either a) no prenup or b) no wedding

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

If this was a dealbreaker he should have given it to you way more in advance than this. And i absolutely wouldn’t sign a prenup without having my own attorney review it.  Why he’s not open to you examining it with your own lawyer to ensure it’s worded to protect you both is the bigest red flag here for me. 

Post # 8
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

get a lawyer.  Don’t even think about signing it right now.

Post # 9
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

because this is what you need to be worrying about a week before your wedding…

im sorry he’s being so difficult but i agree with everyobe else. you must go over it with a lawyer of your own (not his) before you sign it. we arent doing a prenup  (the perks of owning nothing i suppose) but if we were i wouldnt be cool with no support if he was the primary breadwinner.

get to a lwayer asap!

Post # 10
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What the what? I totally echo the PPs. Get a lawyer and don’t sign anything you’re not comfortable with. 

Post # 11
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

A week before the wedding would typically be considered unreasonable depending on complicated the matters are within it and whether you could reasonably have time to review it and negotiate terms.  It is inappropriate for him to spring it on you at the last minute and I persoanlly would refuse to sign it.  At this point he would either negotiate more freely with you about it and/or put off the wedding.  How embarassing would it be fore him if the wedding was put off?  He can still draft a post-nuptial if he’s concerned and post-nuptials are usually more ironclad than prenuptials.

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU CAN AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO MEET WITH A LAWYER ASAP FOR A FREE CONSULTATION REGARDING THE PRENUPTIAL.

Post # 12
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would consider postpoining the wedding.

Talk to you lawyer, and do some soul searching.

 

Post # 13
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Probably crap his lawyer jammed in there, but then again, you NEVER know!

Post # 14
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Not only would I not sign it, I would not consider marrying anyone who would present me with those terms. 

Post # 15
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If the prenup is to protect both parties, it follows that both parties play a hand in drafting the prenup. End of story.

His ultimatum makes me want to hit things.

Post # 16
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

That doesn’t sound very loving of him. 

I would be wondering if there was something shady about it, under these circumstances.  You have every right to be upset, something’s not right with this picture.

Please get a lawyer to look at it before you sign anything.  And call his bluff.  You don’t give someone an ultimatum like that!

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