(Closed) The most dreaded 2-syllable word of my life – PRENUP

posted 9 years ago in Legal
Post # 32
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We threw the idea back and forth, and have deided against it as we both own an equal amount of properties, mine being more freehold than his, but it doesn’t phase me.

I personally wouldn’t sign anything that close to the wedding. Is he out of his mind?!? you may have been the cal cool collected bride to be, this would turn me into a tailspin forget bridezilla it would more along the lines of grim reaper! life insurance?? lol j/king

Post # 33
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow…I’m so sorry you have to deal with this the week before the wedding. I would have been devastated had I received something so one-sided. I can’t fathom why he would push a such a document on you. The whole thing about spousal support really bothers me FOR you considering you said you two have discussed you being a Stay-At-Home Mom for at least a few years. Try to get to the root of this in the time you have. Are these all things he added, or were they things his lawyer pushed?

Post # 34
Member
797 posts
Busy bee

Don’t sign anything without consulting an attorney first! It’s unbelievable that the document was given to you one week before the wedding! That’s unreasonable. I don’t think it is common to have a pre-nup drafted together, one party with their lawyer usually write a first draft (albeit, based on terms that ideally the couple had discussed and hopefully agreed to) and then the other parties’ lawyer would review it and modify it.  From there, negotiations and ultimately everyone agreeing. Keep a level head, think like a business person and also think long term. God forbid you were together a divorce what terms would be fair if there were children involved as well.  It is very difficult to get past the emotional aspect of a pre- nup but once you can it can be a very reasonable agreement.  We pre-nupped to protect both of us and I am very glad we did! I don’t think it takes away from our marriage at all, just being a financially smart woman.  Best wishes!

Post # 35
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, keep us all posted. 
What a stunt to pull on you, thank goodness you are a strong person with the common sense and foresight to have not signed anything! You deserve better than that! 

Post # 36
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bumbleb922:  if it’s for his business then he should be outlining that in the document that you are not entitled to shares in that. As for his take-home pay and benefits and anything to do with his personal life, you should have a stake in that. I’m assuming he pays himself from his business? Anything either of you contribute to the marriage and household you uphold that marriage in should be equal in every way. He should be treating the business itself as an asset and protecting ONLY that. If you are to be assuming the role of a Stay-At-Home Mom, that IS a job, and you should be compensated for it should the worse come to worst. Running a household and raising HIS children is a job. Simple as that. No man is worth compromising your OWN worth for. I’m so glad you’re taking a stand – so few do in these situations and then pay for it in the end.

Post # 37
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

Oh HELL no!! Do NOT sign that!

Is there any way he’s having cold feet? I can’t imagine why anyone would do something like this unless they were panicking with it being so close to the wedding. My first thought was that he wants you to call things off.

Post # 38
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@bumbleb922:  

hm…I don’t believe in prenups…mine wanted one and I said absolutely not. When men know they have no prenup protecting them, they tend to try harder in the relationship to make it work, in my opinion. Never enter into a marriage and give everything you have to a guy who has basically made you sign all of your rights away, should he up and decide to leave.

 

Post # 39
Member
869 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bumbleb922:  I am sorry you are going through this, but I am so glad that you are standing up for yourself and you realize what complete and utter BS this is.

The contents of the Prenup are one thing (maybe his lawyer DID jam it in there), but him bullying you over it, and saying “Sign it or else”?  That makes my head spin.  

It should protect the both of you, no matter what businesses he has.  And I can’t fathom why he would want to leave you with NOTHING.

Rat bastard. 

Post # 40
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@bumbleb922:  “The remainder of my wedding planning is on hold.”

GOOD GIRL.

Post # 41
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Now, I’m pro-prenup but that prenup combined with his attitude is a oh hell no.

Post # 43
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ummm…first the fact that he threw these papers in your face the week before the wedding is rather f-ed up. Second, there are A LOT of things on the pre nup that are big red flags. Like waiving your right to counsel?!? Basically, ZERO community property? what. the. heck.!!!! Get your butt to a lawyer ASAP.

Post # 44
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

So, I just signed our prenup yesterday.

My attorney, whom I retained 2 months prior to our wedding date (9/22) said most judges won’t honor a prenup if it’s done super close to the wedding. Just FYI. As PP have pointed out, it could be forced under duress.

You need to see an attorney. Alot of them will do a free consultation with you, go over the basics. My attorney charged $500 for the work he did on my behalf for my prenup.

 

 

Post # 45
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I knew how to do a smiley for a shocked face I would. Forget the lawyer, if I were you I would cancel that wedding and move on out. If those terms are any indication of how he thinks of you its not very highly 🙁 This is a shitty thing to have to deal with so close to a wedding, but maybe its better you know where he stands before the big day.

Post # 46
Member
4145 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nothing wrong with signing a prenup to protect you both in the event his business’s go under etc, but to add to that that nothing is community property, excluding you from any benefits in the event of a divorce yet asking you to be a SAHm at least for awhile? WHAT? and a week before the wedding? Don’t even think about signing without sitting down with a pro!

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