(Closed) The most dreaded 2-syllable word of my life – PRENUP

posted 9 years ago in Legal
Post # 47
1033 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel like you’re not being protected in the prenup. I agree with other pp, you need a lawyer to look through this before you sign it.

Post # 48
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

a prenup should be drawn up to protect both parties.  this one appears to only be in the best interest of your fi.  i am glad you will not be signing it and hopefully the two of you can come to some sort of reasonable terms.  you can always draw up a post-nuptual agreement.


i am a believer in pre-nups when it is presented correctly.  i personally have had two in the past (one was a common-law co-hab agreement).  i initiated both of them to protect current assets.  it was fair to both parties.

Post # 49
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

do NOT sign that. my parents are both lawyers and that prenup is designed to screw you. for sure. NEVER give up your right to counsel, and the part about signing and receiving not meaning ‘community property’ means that he could take every last thing in the house – because without a lawyer, you won’t get anything.

and you should seriously look at this as a big flag – why would he want to do this to you? why would he want to hoard everything and leave you with nothing? and you’re VERY smart to be rethinking a stay at home lifestyle, because he could leave you with nothing, and you’d have an outdated resume and zero savings. this happened to my mom’s best friend and she’s STILL getting back on her feet about 6 years later, she got zilch.

be extremely careful – it sounds like you are, which is great, but don’t let your guard down! also – when he gives you the ‘it’s for my business’ line, you should realise that this means he would rather bankrupt and ruin you, than bankrupt and ruin a business. that’s what he’s telling you – believe him. and, if that’s his attitude and you DO divorce, you can be damn sure he won’t give you anything you’re not entitled to (which at this point is nothing…) and i can’t imagine someone who’s doing this having an amicable divorce.


Post # 50
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would not sign a prenup..period

Post # 51
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m totally okay with prenups in general, but the conditions of this, coupled with it coming a week before the wedding and his overall attitude would absolutely concern me. Definitely get counsel and talk it over before you sign anything.

Post # 52
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You are being very smart about the substance (or lack there of) with-in said pre-nup. Sounds like you know how to stand up for yourself, hold your ground. Don’t get trapped. Always protect yourself, no one else will. Please keep us posted. Wishing you the best.

Post # 53
38 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

Call an attorney tomorrow morning! I am glad you put your wedding plans on hold, but beyond that, from what you have mentioned about this document, to protect your assets (and future assets) you most definitely need an attorney to review this document and offer revisions to his attorney.

If he just sprung this on you, when did he retain his counsel and have it drafted? It is ridiculous that you are just receiving it one week before your wedding.

Good luck. 

Post # 54
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

“no alimony, no spousal support” … what?? Even if you have kids?? Sorry, no way Jose!

Leaving that aside, my advice would be: even with a lawyer, don’t sign before the wedding under any circumstances. This sort of thing needs several weeks to digest.

He has left it too late. End of story.

Post # 55
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@bumbleb922:  That’s definite bull. If he was that concerned he would have given you adequate time to read, review, amend and respond to the document (with an attorney). 

My Fiance and I talked about a prenup because he also has his own business. I was clueless to the whole process but he assured me that if we were to get one we would both have our own professionals representing us,

Post # 56
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I highly doubt that a prenup signed this close to the wedding and without the opportunity to get your own lawyer would be upheld in court.  I don’t practice family law and I don’t practice in Texas, so I don’t want to give you any legal advice b/c perhaps Texas is different.

That being said, I wouldn’t really get upset about the terms right now.  Chances are, those terms are the terms his lawyers convinced him that they should put in there (or are boilerplate terms that they use on all prenups unless the bride gets her own lawyer and has it changed).  And, prenups are good to have in times of divorce.  This may not be romantic right now, but it is smart in the future and will help resolve a lot of issues that you might fight over through a nasty divorce. 

What I would do if I were you is get a lawyer and discuss the terms that you’re uncomfortable with and present him with a new version of a prenup for him to sign.  A prenup is a contract just like any other contract where a meeting of the minds must occur. 

If you’re uncomfortable with the terms as they are, do not sign it.  If he wants to call the wedding off because of this, then that just goes to show what will happen in the future when you two can’t come to an agreement on his sole terms. 

Post # 59
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bumbleb922:  phew! thats great to hear. it would really suck to find out a week or 2 before your wedding that your Fiance was a secret DB 🙂 i hope the new doc is updated soon and is more on par with what you both had in mind!

this is a great lesson in communicating calmly before flipping out like a crazy woman!

Post # 60
297 posts
Helper bee

A prenup should protect both parties. You can’t take him for all he’s got if you decide to divorce, but he also can’t leave you with nothing and no chance for support. That’s a little much.

Can you work together with a lawyer to come up with a more balanced document?

Post # 61
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@bumbleb922:  Thanks for the update, OP! Glad you and Fiance were able to talk it out! You’re right – communication is *so* important in a marriage. I’m so glad this story has a happy ending. 

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