(Closed) The Most Insulting Way Someone Declined My Invitation

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Padua Hills Theater

Some people just don’t get it… Sorry this had to happen to you. 

Post # 4
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

What a charmer!! I really wonder if people like this are aware of what they sound like!

Post # 5
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sure your feelings were hurt but withdrawing the invitation was just as rude.

Post # 6
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You handled that great.. People just don’t use their heads sometimes.

Post # 7
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@julies1949:  +1

As much as her response was unwarranted, I feel like you actually took it to a new level by uninviting her, especially over text.  I think overall it was handled badly.

Post # 8
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yikes! I would be offended as well. I’m not quite sure if I would have said point blank that I was withdrawing the invitation (however, I obviously don’t know this “friend” and their history as well as you do), but I would explain about the head count for catering reasons and say that if they couldn’t give a definite answer now, then to please not attend. I would also explain my hurt feelings that their primary reason for attending did not seem to be support in pledging my life to my partner. This would also be a conversation I would have, if not in person, then over the phone, as texting can be abrupt and not fully express particular sentiments.

However, it was wrong of her to bring up a gift- to “dangle the carrot”, as it were. Overall, I would not be impressed by her behavior and would be hurt. It seems like you were reasonable in expecting that people would decline- but the fact she was so callous is appalling. Sending good wishes your way!

Post # 9
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

it’s a lame excuse for not coming but i have to say, by withdrawing her invitation, it doesn’t make you the bigger person.  i’m sorry but your reaction was equally rude.  i understand the emotions but perhaps next time you should calm your feelings down before responding.

Post # 11
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I disagree with those saying you were wong to withdraw the invitation. She very clearly showed you what she thinks of your “friendship” and I would not bat one eye over ditching someone who clearly doesn’t care about you.

Post # 12
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Her comment to you may not have been the best but your response to me was rude and more insulting.

Post # 13
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Maybe it’s just me… but I am one of those folks who often misinterpret such Questions, so I am willing to give this couple the benefit of the doubt…

Because I read her reply to your one and only Question…

“so let me get this straight, you would only come to celebrate my wedding, if the other couple came? So if they didn’t come, you wouldn’t have?”

NO

Anotherwords… You would only come if the other couple came… NO

NO equals…

YES we would love to celebrate with you

Your Question is indeed 2 QUESTIONS… and radically opposed to one another.

So I think this needs more clarification (maybe a follow up phone call)

By The Way – I have to agree with the others “withdrawing” an Invite is the ULTIMATE in uncool (very RUDE) … I think you over-reacted !!

 

Post # 14
Member
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Potatoes:  I second that. Respect goes both ways… I don’t think someone like that really deserves to be treated any better.

Post # 16
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have to agree with the majority on this. She behaved badly, but you behaved much worse.

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