(Closed) The night before my wedding I had a surprising conversation with a bridesmaid…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What a beautifully reflective moment you got to have the night before your wedding. I completely agree with you that the emphasis of a partner’s priorities should always be on “us.” Thanks for sharing your experience and congratulations on your new marriage!

Post # 4
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Every relationship has a different dynamic, I think its never a good idea to compare one relationship to another.

Post # 5
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ahh…love this. So well written too.

Post # 6
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@bells: While I agree with you to a certain extent, I see people comparing relationships ALL the time on the Bee and in real life.  OP didn’t express her opinion to her friend, she was just relating the relationships in her mind (at least that’s what I got from her story.)

@mrs.peters.to.beI think that was a great comment to reflect on the night before your wedding!  Congratulations, can’t wait to see pics!

Post # 8
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Beautiful, thanks for sharing!!

Post # 9
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1st – wow what a mess with the resort! Glad you got it all worked out

2nd – What a nice thought to have the night before your wedding.

Post # 10
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@mrs.peters.to.be: Amazing that you were able to have such a talk the night before your wedding!

I’m glad you had a good time! Congrats!

Post # 11
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I really enjoyed reading your post. Reflection and maintaining perspective is always important and valuable in life.

I don’t think you were trying to oversimplify relationship dynamics at all.

Post # 12
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Just wanted to say congratulations and couldn’t agree with you more! I was thinking some similar thoughts last night after visiting a friend who just had a baby. She said a few things to me that made me think that she just doesn’t have much consideration for her husband’s feelings, and on the way home, my husband and I were thanking our lucky stars for how considerate we are of each other.

Post # 14
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@mrs.peters.to.be: I know this was up a week ago but after reading it I completely re-evaluated my relationship and had a huge discussion with Fiance…it was pretty great…since then things have been way better, I hope it continues and to never lose sight of putting my other half’s needs before my own.

I just wanted to thank you for sharing all of that!!

Post # 16
297 posts
Helper bee

@mrs.peters.to.be:  Wow.  Very well written and true.  This pretty much sums up why I have a hard time talking to my group of girlfriends and my mother about me and SO (especially since I’m a waiting bee…) Two of my closest girlfriends are in relationships (one is a marriage) where it’s all about “me, me, me”  My GF’s Darling Husband deals with it but is silently miserable.  My mother is a man-hater and is very anti-relationship after my father passed away 27 years ago. It becomes very difficult to talk about me and SO’s relationship with any of them because they make comments like your Bridesmaid or Best Man did.  It was a godsend when I became close with both of SO’s brother’s wives.  While the three of us are certainly, CERTAINLY not doormats, it’s great to finally be around women who can see past their own needs and see their SO’s needs as well as the couple’s needs.  Until I grew to that level, I could never understand why my SO is undemanding, uncontrolling and laid back.  I thought it was because he didn’t care- I had spent so many years around people who were constantly fighting to get their own needs met instead of engaging in give and take, mutual consideration and love. 

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