(Closed) The Night Before the Wedding: To Kick the Groom Out or Not?

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Should I spend the night before the wedding with the groom?
    Yes of course! : (48 votes)
    49 %
    No Way! : (50 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I didn’t spend the night with him before my wedding, but I’m just chiming in to say to hell with other people’s opinions. I don’t think that should even make the con list. Do what makes you happy and comfortable, either way!

    ETA: It occurred to me my response is a little weird since you’re asking for opinions here. What I meant was specifically the item on your con list where it says everyone tells you to stick to tradition. If that’s the only good reason people can give you, I wouldn’t be swayed by it. Clearly, though, hearing personal experiences from other bees here might be illuminating for you!

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by  GreenGables.
    Post # 3
    Member
    3970 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

    I spent the night at home with my ex-H the night before our wedding. It was nice, I was in my own bed, we both slept well and I actually had to get up much earlier than him, so I just got up and snuck out so he could sleep. I didnt even see him that morning! I realize that wont be the same for you, but my priorioty was sleeping well the night before, and I’m glad I did it that way. Also, eff what other people say… do what feels best for you!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3895 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    View original reply
    soon2bamarriedlady:  Hubby and I stayed together the night before our wedding and I have no regrets. It can be hard to get sleep in a hotel room anyways, so I don’t think I would’ve slept as well if we had stayed in different rooms for the night. Plus it was nice coming back after the wedding and not having to worry about gathering all of our belongings to switch rooms. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I stayed at my hotel with one of my bridesmaids and he stayed at our apartment with one of his friends. He probably slept better because he was in our bed but I didn’t have any trouble sleeping because I was able to chat with one of my girlfriends until we were tired. 

    I really liked the tradition of not seeing the groom until I walked down the aisle, we didn’t even do a first look for that same reason, and it was everything I wanted it to be!

    Post # 6
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

    I don’t plan on spending the night with my Fiance, and it’s his idea. We are not doing the first look as he wants to see me walk down the isle!

    Post # 7
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ll be at my mom’s house with my bestie so I’ll be in my own bed but honestly do what makes you feel best!! If you’re really worried about people saying things- tell them you had separate rooms or something. Or if you want the best of both worlds can he sleep in his BM’s hotel room? My Fiance will stay with his parents in their hotel room so he’ll actually be closer than me but do what works best for both of you and don’t worry about what other people say 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    2771 posts
    Sugar bee

    We didn’t spend the night together, he crashed at a friend’s apartment.  I really didn’t want around the house underfoot because I was so nervous I was afraid I’d start taking my nervouness out on him.  And more importantly I didn’t want him to see me getting ready.  Even tho we lived together and had absolutely no illusions about each other, I just wanted the first time he saw me that day was when we took out vows

    Post # 10
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes we spent the night before together 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    View original reply
    soon2bamarriedlady:  Of course it will be special! It’s even special for couple who do a first look, too!

    Post # 13
    Member
    287 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015 - Ballroom

    I voted “No Way!”, but really, I wish there was a third option of “Do What You Want!”. Darling Husband and I spent the night before in separate hotel rooms (even though our shared home was only 15-20 minutes from the venue) purely out of practicality.  We both were getting ready with our wedding party at the hotel (gorgeous decorations for Getting Ready photos) and the management couldn’t guarantee an early check-in on the wedding day. So we booked two rooms and both slept separately the night before. I had my sister and neice in my room, because they were both in the wedding party, so we had a mini slumber party. Hubby liked having his own room, because he and the GMs went and had a few beers after the rehearsal dinner and he didn’t have to worry about driving or getting in too late.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    3585 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    Fiance and I will be spending the night before the wedding together. We aren’t doing a first look. After breakfast together we’ll get ready in different rooms and not see each other until the ceremony. Do whatever works for you two. As PP said it’ll be special no matter what.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2655 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We won’t be spending the night before the wedding together (I’ll be at my dad and step mum’s, he’ll be at his mum’s – their houses are on the same street funnily enough), but if we were having a destination wedding or something and had a hotel room we probably would plan to spend the night together.

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