(Closed) The Night Before the Wedding: To Kick the Groom Out or Not?

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Should I spend the night before the wedding with the groom?

    Yes of course!

    No Way!

  • Post # 31
    308 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I’m not married yet, but my fiancé will be staying at our place with me the night before the wedding. My mom doesn’t like it (oh well) but here is my reasoning:

    1. We’re not traditional people. 

    2. I would much rather get to cuddle with him the night before and lean on him. He’s my rock.

    3. He’s already seen me naked. We already live together.  I don’t understand why waking up next to him would be an issue for anyone if it’s what we want.

    Post # 32
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    Do what you want! You’re probably doing earlier in the day photos anyway since the wedding is late, so you may as well wake up together

    I personally wouldn’t and voted to kick him out, but honestly it doesn’t really matter.

    Post # 33
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I didn’t care either way, and so I asked my DH what he wanted. He wanted to stay together so that we wouldn’t get too nervous, so that’s what we did.

    Literally nobody knew or asked, except for my mom/family because we would have otherwise stayed at her house. I don’t think it makes too much of a difference, and nobody will know or care either way besides you guys. Do what feels right to you!

    And probably whatever is logistically easiest, because everyone will be stressed out and  you’ll need to keep tabs on a lot of people and belongings those last few days.

    Post # 34
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I hadn’t even considered spending the night before with him, we’ve both just kind of assumed we wouldn’t! 

    At my sisters wedding I spent the night with her, and it was a lot of fun – so I think I’d like to do that for my wedding! But other than that I really don’t know!! (I didn’t vote) x

    Post # 35
    87 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Like you, I knew I’d have some serious anxiety the night before the wedding and not be able to sleep. We had a hotel room reserved, but slept together at our home and I went over to the hotel early in the morning. No one really seemed to think anything about it (and how would they know unless they ask or you tell them). It was really nice to give him a kiss and hug in the morning. As most people have said, do what you want to do! And no, the walk down the aisle won’t be less special if you see him in the morning. We did a first look and we’re both crying! Enjoy your day 🙂 

    Post # 36
    29 posts
    • Wedding: May 2016 - Estate at East Wind

    I think you should follow tradition IF that’s what you want to do AND it’s convenient for you.  For your circumstances it doesn’t sound that convenient and you seem interested in it for little beyond the tradition factor – by all means, if the tradition is super-important to you, go for it, but if you feel like you should do it just because “you should” or otherwise feel obligated, definitely consider saying “to heck with it!” 

    I didn’t see him the night before, but my parents live in the same neighborhood as I do, and I styaed with them, plus they have more space for getting ready in the morning than I do in my apartment, so it was very easy to work out for me.  Had my circumstances not been that easy though, I might have opted differently. 

    Post # 37
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My fiance and I will be sleeping down the hall from each other in my parents home. and no sneaking because twin beds in each room. lol. I think you will be okay. and i think your walk down the isle will still be very special. 


    Post # 38
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We stayed together, then he left in the morning.  The next time we saw each other was at the first look 6 hours later.  I have no regrets.

    Post # 39
    6 posts
    • Wedding: August 2016

    My fiance and I already own a house together and obviously live in it.  I am opting to spend the night before the wedding at my mom and dad’s house and he will stay in our house with some of his groomsmen.  However, I completely understand not wanting to stay in the hotel room by yourself, I hate sleeping in hotel rooms and with all the excitement building, it may not be a bad idea to have your groom stay with you.  It’s not like he is staying right up until the wedding and will see you get ready and what not.  If that doesn’t work you could always see if some one in your bridal party would step up and stay with you as an alternative.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  soontobemrs26.
    Post # 40
    2989 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    One of my favorite wedding day memories was eating the hotel’s continental breakfast in our hotel room and ironing his shirt for him before I left to get ready with the bridal party. Another was when he crashed the salon to get his nails buffed. 

    I actually changed into my wedding dress at the venue, if that makes a difference. 

    Post # 41
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    We were already living together when we got married, so for us it was a matter of convenience and comfort. We knew we’d be more comfortable and relaxed sleeping in our own apartment, in our own bed the night before. I think it would have added a lot of stress for one of us to have to deal with sleeping away from home.

    Post # 42
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We didn’t spend the night before the wedding together (I slept at my sister’s) and I actually really liked it. There was just something about saying good night the night before and then waiting to see him for our first look that was exciting and different. I liked that the day didn’t begin as every day begins. It also gave me a chance to sit down and work on my vows, which I hadn’t done before that night.

    That said, for me this was easy to coordinate. My family had to travel to be at the wedding and my sister had rented a house for her and her kids (she’s separated). I just shared the bed with her and he stayed at our place home, which was further away from our ceremony venue. The bridesmaids joined us at her house to get ready, so it was also nice that I didn’t have to lug all my stuff there the morning of, and the groomsmen met up at our apartment to have lunch and get ready there.

    My sister and I spent the night soaking our feet in a salt bath, putting on face masks and conditioning our hair. It was awesome and very relaxing. I would vote stay at the hotel, but maybe you can invite your Maid/Matron of Honor or a bridesmaid to spend the night with you to help you relax?

    Post # 43
    504 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    Fiance and I plan to spend the night at the hotel in two separate rooms.  I’m thinking I will have the main room/suite with some of my bridesmaids that night and he can stay with some groomsmen.  Then wedding night, we will both share my room/suite. 

    Same as others have said, I want the tradition of not seeing my groom before the wedding.  I’m not even keen on doing a first look and neither is he!  I casually asked him if he wants to do it and he said no he wants to see me for the first time when I walk down the aisle.

    The topic ‘The Night Before the Wedding: To Kick the Groom Out or Not?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors