(Closed) The No Infants Policy drama

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Miss Moxy:  I don’t think that the only reason that he wanted his baby to come to your wedding was to show her off- 

Many people don’t want to leave thier small babies- even for a night- with a sitter.  

I feel like a lot of brides get offended if people decline an invites based on the fact that babies aren’t allowed.  Unfortunately, I will always side with the parents on this one.  I am a mom- and my son only stayed with a family member when I needed a sitter- and even then, that was rare.  So if the majority of my family is at a wedding- that doesn’t leave many options for my baby.  Now I know that not every parents feels this way- my Future Sister-In-Law is leaving her baby- who will only be one month old- with a friend because she is in our wedding.  I told her baby was welcome, but I think she wants it to be an adult night.  Totally fine- it’s her choice.

On the other hand, one of our GM’s wives will be bringing thier 1 month old, and she will leave with baby when she’s ready and Groomsmen will stay with us.

If I am not comfortable- for whatever reason- leaving my baby/child- then I will decline an invitation, end of story.  It’s not because I want to spite the person having the event, or because I am angry- it’s because if I am not comfortable in the first place leaving my baby, I won’t be able to enjoy myself.  

I’m sure your cousin said what he did because his feelings were probably hurt a little- or maybe he was embarrassed.  Try to understand his perspective- he probably understands yours- but that doesn’t mean he is going to change his mind (just like you aren’t, either).

I suppose it’s possible that your cousin has another reason he is no longer attending- but those are my thoughts!

 

Try not to be so sensitive about it- you have your reasons and he has his 🙂

 

 

 

Post # 48
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@VictorianChick:  LOL- I don’t know if this was a general statement.  People with kids DO have thier own sets of “rules” they follow- and sometimes they simply don’t mesh with people without kids.  But it’s sort of the same as saying “I’m tired of Brides thinking they can dictate just because they are getting married.”  Of course they can- it’s thier day!  Now that doesn’t mean that people with babies can dictate that they’re coming to an event they’re not invited- they need to respect the Bride and Groom’s decision (in this case, it seems like Mom/aunts are the real partypoopers)- on the same token, people with children sure can make the decision to NOT attend something.  

Post # 49
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@Miss Moxy:  It will work out! Accdiently send mom’s calls to “silent” hehehe. Or just repeat ad nasueam “Our decision is final”

Post # 50
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@Miss Moxy:  Confused… What exactly is your mom suggesting, & why is it a problem? You wouldn’t allow your cousin to attend without his wife?

And as far as your mom’s concerns regarding other family members being upset, she really isn’t being unreasonable! Lol there are a lot of boards on here with other Bees who choose not to invite one relative (for any given reason) who are then facing the wrath of the rest of their family. I suppose this might not be the case in your situation, but maybe your mom knows something you don’t? Could she have overheard a comment from another relative that he/she will not attend, should cousin #1 not be able to?

Anyways, regarding your original post, I definitely don’t blame you for not wanting infants at the wedding. I am fairly sure I’ll also have a child-free ceremony, at the very least. It does, unfortunately, sound like your cousin was excited about the opportunity to have a little mini-party for his baby. It’s your day, though, & I think for multiple reasons, you are completely justified in your decisions thus far. 

Post # 51
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

P.s. Just saw your date is listed as Sept. 28… If you already had your wedding, congrats! How did things turn out? 🙂

The topic ‘The No Infants Policy drama’ is closed to new replies.

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