(Closed) the non- proposal.

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Well, it’s a bit of a difficult situation now, as you’ve basically told him he doesn’t have to propose.

I think the only solution is for you to start the discussion. If I were him I”d be really scared to bring it up now, in case you thought it was a proposal!!

Post # 4
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m a lot like you. I didn’t want a proposal, wanted to keep it simple, didn’t want a ring, etc. I think what’s happening now is that you’re making the “simple” situation complicated. We started talking about marriage, and decided to get married a couple of days later, because of pending immigration/legal issues that needed to be addressed, and because our grandparents were getting older much faster and we were like, “Ouch, we gotta do this quickly if we’re ever going to do it.” And lo, I was engaged.

So, if there are reasons for you to get married soon, just lay out those reasons. If you have a good time/place in mind, if you’re flush with cash right now and can afford a wedding, if you just really, really feel like it right now, you can just talk about it. That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? Or are you not certain he would want to get engaged/married?

Post # 5
375 posts
Helper bee

Just tell him, one evening or whenever, so I’ve been giving it some thought and could we talk about the engagement, again. Just jump in!

Post # 6
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

How about if you start talking about when you would want to have your wedding.  That will get the discussion started and then from there you could start taking some actions like picking out a ring and a venue.

Post # 7
1089 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t think about it too much.  The bigger issue you make about talking about these things, the bigger issue it becomes (in my opinion, anyway).  I always think that asking him where he sees himself/your relationship in __years is always a good prelude to such conversations because he’s likely to say something about being married.  It could pave the way for you to further discuss engagement/marriage without being too forward. 

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