Sorry, kind of a long post on this….
Being a very creative bee I have been quite flexible in what I have as a “vision”. My biggest vision was the location and my fiance hated it, so we found someplace else that we both liked. Am I bummed out, yes. It was my perfect place and I loved everything about it. But Mr. Posh hated it, so what was I going to do? I found something mutually good and made it work. With a couple of tweaks, you can have something that can make most everyone happy.
What I haven’t liked is the snarky comments from relatives and other people trying to cause problems. Weddings can bring out the worst in people because of the notion of “My Day/Our Day”
- I feel entitled
- I’m paying
- I’m the mother and didn’t get my day, so I’ll take the reigns now
- I’m the elder/grandmother/aunt and I know best
- I’m better/smarter/more worthy/etc. than everyone else, so I’ll butt in
- Add your reason here
I saw the start of this when searching for my dress. I went to the running of the brides in boston. There are thousands of gowns to sift through, but some brides in the hope of finding their perfect gown sleep overnight outside the building! It opens at 8am and myself, not wanting to get trampled, showed up at 9am. This was a bit of a mistake. You get gown hoarders…
Who were the worst at this event? It actually wasn’t the brides in most cases, it was their moms or relatives. When I’d ask,”Hey would you mind if I tried that dress on in your pile?” (if it looked like the bride wasn’t interested.) They’d say,”No, she hasn’t decided which one she likes yet!”(very rudely and mind you, they had a dress pile of at least 30 dresses.)
The show Bridezillas:
I think that in most cases that show Bridezillas is acting. While there are some pretty psycho brides, some of the stuff is too over the top to be real. What are your thoughts?
My issues have actually been with my FFIL’s Mom (my fiance’s grandmother). She’s just been great with the comments and Italian guilt trip.
For example first she said before we got engaged,”I won’t allow my grandson to get married unless he lives with her first and knows that they’ll work!” I was surprized by this. Old Italian grandmothers tend to be quite prudish, but whatever. So we got engaged and he just moved in with me. Well wouldn’t you know she said,”I can’t believe they’re living in sin!!!”.
She has been doing stuff like that and trying to cause trouble throughout the whole process so far. I’m just trying not to let it get to me. Do I want everyone to be happy on my wedding day? Yes, of course I do. Do I want to keep my sanity and not cater to those that are out to cause trouble? Yes, this is very important to me as well.
I think the key is make sure whatever you say or do throughout the process, you’re taking into consideration others feelings and needs, however if something is just too much for you to accomodate you don’t have to do it.