Post # 1
Guess it’s my turn. We have a few kids in our wedding party for 6 p.m. wedding. Our plan is to have them at ceremony and cocktail hour, then have an adult drive them back to hotel (4 miles away) where sitters will watch them from about 8 until end of wedding.
So, I’m following up with guests who didn’t RSVP. My aunt told me that my cousin (who already finagled a plus-one for his girlfriend) plans to attend with his two uninvited children, ages 9 and 11. I wrote back that his kids are welcome to attend the ceremony and cocktail hour and then go back to hotel with the other children and sitters.
My aunt responds that she thinks his children are old enough to participate as adults. WTF? a) I DID NOT INVITE THEM. b) Their father hasn’t even bothered to RSVP. c) I told her they could attend ceremony and cocktail hour (although not invited), then offered them paid babysitting for rest of night. d) These children are 9 and 11 years old — not even close to adults! This is an evening wedding. My cousin has a history of ignoring his kids and basically leaving them to run amok at family functions.
What part of YOU ARE INCREDIBLY RUDE AND INSENSITIVE don’t you understand?! My other cousins had NO KIDS at their weddings and people respected that. I am trying to be flexible and feel I’m being taken advantage of. The irony is, I like those kids (way more than their dad, frankly) — I just resent having their presence rudely forced upon us. Who does this?! What now?!
Post # 3
I would let your aunt know that while you appreciate her input, you are not having children at your reception. He has the option of leaving them at home, or attending the ceremony and cocktail hour, and they can go back to the hotel with the sitter. It isn’t up for discussion.
Post # 5
Wow… I agree with 2PeasinaPod. Can you call up the cousin and tell him directly so things don’t get lost in translation? I don’t know what it is but something about weddings brings out an entitlement factor that people just think they can do whatever they want and you turn out to be the “rude” one….
Post # 6
preach it @2PeasinaPod! its a non negotiable issue!
Post # 9
I agree with 2Peas! I like that…it isn’t up for discussion.
Post # 10
2peas hit the nail in the head on this one :). Hope everything worked out >.<
Post # 11
totally agree with peasinapod!!
I don’t get it why people think their children MUST stay for the entire wedding? I remember being a child and being extremely bored at weddings and probably annoying a lot of people with my behavior (and I was a well behaved child). Plus, since most weddings serve liquor, when is it appropriate for children to be around drunk adults? People just want to have fun and not worry about censoring themselves around children (not saying that people get super crazy or anything, I just remember a lot of awkwardness and feeling kind of out of place when I was a kid. Kind of like hearing a joke that I don’t understand, but for an entire night). I think not having them there is doin everyone a favor. Too bad your cousin can’t see this!!!
Post # 12
Another agreement for 2Peas.
Post # 13
So, this cousin of mine asked if he could bring a “plus one” (his girlfriend) and then TOLD me he was bringing his two uninvited kids, was loud and drunk at the wedding requesting several songs from the DJ that others didn’t enjoy, and didn’t bring us a card or a gift. How’s that for the rude guest award?
But, the kids were delightful (in this case, better than the parent). We had 9 kids total at our wedding. Some left early with sitters and some stayed until the end, but all were very well behaved. We had favor bags with candy and toys, a kids’ table and some kid-friendly menu choices. In the end, we didn’t regret having kids there at all.