(Closed) The opposite end of the “too young” problem

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Where do you live? It seems like everyone where I am from (Texas/the south) gets this kind of pressure from thier early 20s on. But, where I live now, nobody in my circle is married until 28+ and not even considering kids before 30 – and it isn’t at all brought up by the parents. I’ve found that to be a really regional thing.

Post # 4
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh, I definitely understand!  Fiance and I are getting married next month– he’s 22 and I’m 21, and Future Mother-In-Law (AND my mother) are driving us insane about babies.  We are nowhere ready yet, so we just try to ignore it and wait until the time is right for US.  I want to enjoy being married for awhile (2-3 years) before throwing a baby in the mix and even then, we’ll still be really young, so the grandparents can just wait a little bit 🙂

Post # 5
Member
862 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh yes… totally understand.  FMIL and all his family for that matter told us at EIGHTEEN that we were getting old and should start thinking about kids.  Yup.. you heard right… EIGHTEEN!!!!!!!!!  Talk about culture differences… We just brush it off now… we’ll be ready when we’re ready…

ETA:  We’re only 22 now and will be 23 when married.

Post # 6
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@crayfish: You’re definitely right about Boston. I’m 25 and the youngest in our circle of friends. We will not being talking seriously about children for at least 3-5 years (FI is 28). I read a stat once that said Massachusetts has the oldest average Bride and Groom, and also the lowest divorce rate. It has to do with the plethora of higher education in the area.

Post # 7
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Relatives who harass about kids will do it regardless of your situation.

I’m older than you but have made clear since I was about 3 years old to anyone within earshot that I don’t intend to procreate.  That doesn’t stop people from harassing me.  If they’re baby-prodders, they’re baby-prodders and having one will just leave them asking when the baby will get a sibling.

There’s no rush to have kids and I think you’d probably be doing your kids and yourself a favor by waiting a few years, getting done with grad school (not that there’s anything wrong with having kids first, but there’s no reason to force it into your lives).  Think of snappy comebacks and live your life at your own pace.

Post # 8
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@abarber3: I got the funniest mental image of a baby zooming around the room on a ceiling-track zip line- it’s been a long day.

Thankfully, I’m pretty sure my family is still in shock that I can stand anyone long enough to marry them- child is pretty far down the road in their minds and Future In-Laws are so concerned about making sure we all have the perfect image of propriety that they are probably afraid to bring it up- lest we jump the gun or something?

nevermind, FH just told me that they want us to wait till we already planned (9-10 years from now) to keep up with tradition of the father being 32 or so when the first child is born, and so that we can save up and “be rich”

Post # 9
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We are getting lots of hints from both sides (I am 27), but luckily my cousin just got pregnant, so everyone gets to focus her attention on her for now! When people bring it up, I just say “give it 5 years” because I’m definitely not planning to rush it right now. They don’t argue with me, yet anyway…

Post # 10
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Knubbsy-Wubbsy: My parents are shocked about that too!  Even I’m shocked about that hahahah

My Future Mother-In-Law keeps telling us she’s ready for our baby in 2013…. she kept saying 2012 until she realized that we’re getting married 5/18/2012.  CALM DOWN. Yes I’d like kids sooner rather than later, but that doesn’t mean the bc goes out the window during the honeymoon.  People need to realize its RUDE to make these comments.  Thank goodness my Future Brother-In-Law is about to have a baby with his wife.  

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