(Closed) The “other side” of living together before marriage……

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

by adding that layer of legality, it seems more binding and somehow more commitment. it is easier to walk away when you are not married in my opinion. and i want there to be something more to “us” than just sharing a roof.

Post # 33
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

From the day FH and I met we knew we wanted to get married. In our commitment to each other we both found our way back to religion and more and more a church ceremony has been becoming important to us.

FH is also older than me, and ill it’s important for legal reasons to marry.

Post # 34
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We have been “just living together” for almost 7 years. We are very happy, but working in a hospital, I know just how important it is to be the official next of kin to your loved one.

Post # 35
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

On the flip side, why doesn’t everyone marry a roommate?  Or why should a couple who isn’t married bother getting married when they can just live together?

My DH and I went from being a couple who were dating and living as roommates to a married couple.  To me, the legal implications where important, as was the commitment and stating our love and commitment to each other to our friends and family.

Post # 36
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@KallahinBaltimore:  honestly I think that marriage is a step to show our commitment to each other—it isn’t necessary, but it’s definitely a nice milestone

 

 

Post # 37
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

DH and I lived together before we were married, but I think we both knew from the first date that we would end up getting married sooner or later.  

I remember our co-workers making a big deal out of the fact that I moved in with him before we were married…one even said the “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” thing, to which I responded, “why should I buy the whole pig when I can get some sausage for free.”  Of course, there were a lot of people at the Census Bureau who thought we were together just to cause trouble. After the Census was over, one of my former co-workers said “oh, you’re really going to get married?” Uh…duh…yes!

Personally, I don’t think I would have continued living with him if our intention hadn’t been to eventually get married. I’m someone who needs that permanent legal commitment. Without it, I would never feel the security in the relationship that I have now. There would always be that option to just cut and run if things got too tough. 

However, moving in together before marriage was just practical on a lot of levels, and DH is a very practical man.

Post # 38
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I made the MISTAKE of having a child w someone MORE FINANCIALLY SECURE than myself and we NEVER GOT MARRIED. To make a reeeally long story short, I am pretty much his HOSTAGE. 9 years of this. I am so lost. 

Post # 39
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I didn’t realise this till OH explained but what he said was so true. Marriage is not much of a commitment now that divorces are so easy. We will marry one day but only to be recognised as a couple. It really does bug me that legally we are single. Us getting married has nothing to do with commitment as we have been in a commited relationship for years, we have a house together, pets and have planned our life together.

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