(Closed) The outcast

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
1451 posts
Bumble bee

It really is a sucky situation when your workplace has such a cliquish group of women.  I’ve had two jobs where this also happened to me (I was young and in my mid 20s and these women were all much older like 40-50s and hated “young blood”) and I’ve learned the more you “try” to be super nice to them and be friends, the more they will ostracize you.   The best tip I can give you is, you need to stop trying to be friends with them ASAP.  You can be polite and friendly, but keep them at an arm’s distance and have really strong boundaries.  They will try to pawn off their work onto you and then spread terrible rumors that you are a terrible employee if you can’t do the work.  But don’t play into their games by freely saying “NO” if it is not your job to do it.  If they keep hounding you, then I would go directly to your supervisor and tell them that your coworkers are making it difficult to do your job.  Also, you must document everything and have evidence to protect yourself anytime they ask you to do anything and all of your correspondence (like emails, etc).  

I know it’s completely unfair, but workplace bullying is a very real thing.  And if these women are gunning for you (for whatever reason), be very very careful because they will try to get you fired if you don’t stand up for yourself and show them that you are not someone they can push around.

Post # 3
47279 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

First, always keep in mind that this has NOTHING to do with you. There are workplaces where the  culture is to ostracize new people until you prove yourself or forever.

The pp has given you some valuable advice. Heed it. You must stand up for yourself. If you have a supervisor, where does a co-worker get off assigning work to you?  Be assertive but polite. ” My workload will not allow me to do that for you and still give safe patient care.” Always frame things in terms of safe patient care. If she tries a stunt like that again, suggest the two of you discuss the issue with the supervisor.

Post # 5
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


thefuturemrsD:  Now that you described it more, at least the nurse that you are talking about is power tripping.  I have worked in a similar situation where we have people who are “support” and people who are not support can sometimes power trip on them, even telling them that some of their job is “support’s” job instead.

I know it may feel like tattling, but the only way to end it is to go over their head.  They won’t listen to you as they feel like you are below them.  I would let your or their direct supervisor know what is going on.  Tell them it’s not because you don’t want to help, or can’t handle it, but because of this patients are not getting care (which is very true!) 

Post # 6
1451 posts
Bumble bee

Whether they are the same age as you or older, the advice would still be the same.  I just read your update, if that one particular nurse is that nasty to you (i.e. yelling at you, telling you that you’re on the wrong career path) than you definitely need to document everything she’s said/done, try to find people to witness for you (if she did it in public), and definitely report this to your supervisor.  

If you want to keep it as low key as possible, I would sit your supervisor down (someone who is higher up than you and also this nurse) and share with them that you are having difficulty doing your job and would like their help.  If they ask why, tell them everything this nurse did to you — exactly all the details you posted above in your update.  Tell them that you are being emotionally/mentally abused as her aide, that she thinks her work is #1 and is making it super difficult  for you to efficiently get everyone’s work done, she abuses her power by talking down to you (like you’re a servant) and unfairly saying you’re bad at your job, and workplace harassment in that she’s saying you chose the wrong career path (she has NO right to say that to you).

Definitely do not try to be friends with these girls.  They are no different then the mean highschool girls who’d bully others they thought were “lesser” then them.  Your aunts are right, trying to befriend them will get you fired in the long run.  

Post # 7
558 posts
Busy bee

Absolutely talk to your supervisor about the workload issues!! I am sorry about your coworkers and I hope they come around. Good luck!!

Post # 8
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If you haven’t, begin to document everything.  Workplace harassment is really serious and many HR offices take a very keen eye into this kind of thing as hiring is expensive and retention of employees is economical.  Even if they aren’t doing anything illegal, they are creating a threatening environment, and any manager/HR professional worth their salt would take that seriously and look into it.

Secondly, speak up to your supervisor.  In most workplaces, the supervisor is in charge of delegating work to the direct reports — so this “other woman” giving you work and getting mad at you — tell this to your boss.  What your BOSS wants comes first, always.  Ask that your boss be the only one you receive orders from.

Unfortunately, workplace culture can be difficult at some places for new employees — lots of tight-knit relationships formed over time, and folks who are unwelcome to change might be quick to judge or act coldly to a newbie — particularly if they at all feel threatened by you.  However, document these things, remember to be kind to everyone, and speak up to your supervisor and make sure your supervisor knows everything you’re working on just to keep them in the loop. 

I worked at a place where one of our receptionists was always being given “side work” by another manager — the manager would say to her “I talked to the boss, it’s okay” — when in fact, he never spoke to her boss and her boss had no idea she was doing all this side work.  So it’s very important that your boss be made very aware of everything other people ask you to do.






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