Post # 1
Hello bees! First of all hello to everyone, I’m a newbie 🙂
I have known my OH for years through mutual friends. We have now been together for 16 months and have lived together for 9 – every body told us we were moving in way too soon but I can honestly say I love him more and more every day and we are blissfully happy living together!
It was in February that we first talked about getting engaged – come may we went and looked at rings and found the PERFECT one. He insisted on buying the ring then because he could see how much I loved that one and didn’t want to risk me not being able to have it. So, he has the ring, it’s just a question of when he will actually propose. I have no idea and he won’t give me any hints! I’m glad for that, I’d like it to be a genuine surprise 🙂
I work full time in an office, it’s steady and good money and my OH is in the police force. My question is – do you personally think we are too young to get engaged? I’m 22, he is nearly 24. On top of that do you think we have not been together long enough?
I have no doubts what so ever that I want to marry my man. We have worked out we would need to save for 2 years to have £15,000 for the wedding – I said I would like to save a little extra and longer so when we actually tie the knot I will (potentially) be 25, so it’s not as if we are rushing.
I love my OH more than words could say and I know in my heart that to get engaged to him is nothing but a good thing – I just wonder other peoples views so that I know if I should brace myself for some negativity when he does finally pop the question and it comes to letting everyone know?
Opinions much appreciated, thank you ladies! Xx
Post # 3
You two are not that young and it seems that you got your life under control. You havn’t been together very long but you say you two love each very much and seem to be fully dedicated to one another.
Post # 4
People can pass judgement and be negative about marriage for many reasons regardless of age, it’s how you handle it that’s more important. You sound like you are grounded and know exactly what you want and you shouldn’t let others opinions impact on this exciting time in your life! That being said, I personally don’t think you are too young (I was just 24 when I married). Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
People are going to have opinions on everything you do in your life. There’s no way you can please them all, so it’s best to just ask one another “are we ready?” and then set your mind to it and follow through. Someone will ALWAYS have something to say.
Post # 6
You are completely right. Thank you, I guess it’s just been going round and round in my head since I haven’t spoken to anyone about it other than my man and I’ve been getting worried over nothing! Lordy how will I cope when it comes to actually planning the wedding lol!
Post # 7
No, you’re not too young.
Regarding the “perfect age” thing… I am 22 and SO is 33 (and also from Hertfordshire). Neither of us have been married before. The right age is different for each individual. We’re not engaged yet (we wanted for me to get a stable job after graduation etc) but for me early to mid twenties is the right age. For SO it’s mid thirties.
Post # 8
Definately not too young. I was in a similar situation to you. Met Fiance 18 months ago, moved in with him after 3 months, got engaged after 1 yr. Everyone was telling us we were moving way too quickly but once you know, you know.
You two have been living with eachother you know each other very well. infact probably better than alot of people who are engaged but dont live with eachother. You know you are compatible. Dont worry about what everyone else may think. Its your life-live it the way you want to.
Post # 9
While I don’t personally think that you’re too young, I think needing to ask IF you are too young shows that either a) you yourself feel too young or b) you care way too much about others opinions. You’re definitely old enough to make your own decisions— so make them and own them!
Post # 10
You seem mature and responsible. In addition, you will be engaged for two years which gives you both time to get to know each other better and time for everyone else important in your life to get to know you guys as a couple.
Personally, I think you two will be fine. Good luck!
Post # 11
I agree with other posters that it’s more about maturity level and your confidence in your relationship than about the numbers on your license. That being said, if you find yourself saying “I’m not ready now, but I’ll be ready in two years when the wedding actually happens,” I think that’s a red flag. For me, getting engaged should mean that you are ready to be married now (in theory).
I have several friends in vanity engagements (engaged for several years without making any wedding plans, just because they like the feel of being engaged and think it gives their relationships validity), and that doesn’t sound like what you’re talking about here, but I definitely think you need to be 100% sure before you get engaged, not assume there will be time to decide after you’ve got a ring.
P.S. I am currently 22, and my fiance is 24. We will be 23 and 25 when we tie the knot. We haven’t gotten age comments so much as “We knew you two would end up married!” When you’re confident in your choice, your loved ones will be, too.
Post # 12
I think feeling young has to do with what stage you are in your life. Some days I feel really young when I bum around my parents house in PJ’s and eat and watch TV all day lol Other days when my SO and I are spending a weekend away and we do all the shopping, cooking, and cleaning together I feel all grown up lol
It sounds like the 2 of you are at a point where you can take care of each other, and I think it’s smart that you want to be engaged for a while to save money and just prepare. Any time I think I’m too young (I’m 23) I remind myself that my mother was 19 when she got married, and 20 when she had me. So I definitley know my family won’t judge me for being young lol If anything I’m getting old haha
But seriously, if you have all your ducks in order, I think you’re ready =]
Post # 13
Thank you bees for your replies, you have all really put my mind at rest. You’re right, as long as I know that I’m doing the right thing, it really doesn’t matter if anyone wants to say differently and I shouldn’t let it impact my happiness over the impending engagement.
I know what you mean about vanity engagaments – I’ve known a lot of people to do the same and you can almost always tell they are doing it for the wrong reasons, I suppose that is exactly what I didn’t want people to think of us, but then again anyone worth having at our wedding will know how in love and how serious we are about each other. The funny thing is, despite our age / length of time together, we get SO many people saying things like “So when’s the wedding” – And we haven’t mentioned to anyone that we were even talking about it before! Let alone that we now have the ring!
If me and my OH had the money, I would marry him right away. But we don’t, and our parents don’t have much spare cash to help us out, so we know being realistic we will need to save for a few years. Not worth getting ourselves in to debt over when we just need to have patience.
Thanks again ladies, much appreciated x
Post # 14
The relationship honeymoon period generally lasts 6 months-2 years. Anthing past that means you’ve probably weathered a few fights and transitioned from exciting-new-love towards a more stable-lasting-love. But you’re talking about waiting until you’re 25? Sounds perfect.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
It seems to me that 26 is the perfect age. I have NEVER gotten “oh, but you’re so young!” I think 25-26 is the age where people realize that you’re grown up and ready.