Post # 1
I know some of you may think I’m completely bonkers, but I have been looking for the perfect set of dishes for the past 10 years. I have found some close-to-perfect sets before, but my mom says she will NOT buy me dishes until my wedding. The problem is: I just found the most perfect dishes, the ones I have been searching for for 10 years….. and they are at the Crate & Barrel Outlet which means they will most certainly be gone by the time I get married. I saw them with my mom and freaked out about how awesome they are and I love them and how they are literally exactly what I have had in mind for 10 years and she says “They are cool, but trust me, you’ll find others when you get married.” WTF, Mom, no, I won’t! These are THE ONES! Believe me, I have looked at every set of dishes made since 2001!
This was 2 weeks ago and I am still daydreaming about these freaking dishes! I talked to my SO about it, and he says I should ask her to buy them and save them for my wedding (but won’t let me tell her he said to do that – he’s so back-&-forth with marriage!). I really want to, but it seems kind of weird. I know for certain they will be gone in a matter of weeks and if I’m lucky I’ll be engaged by September, married next May. If I’m lucky.
What would you do?? I would buy them myself, but I will probably be unemployed for 6 months starting this May waiting for my professional license and it just seems really nuts for me to spend $180-200 right now on stuff I won’t use for 1.5years or more. My SO & I have been together for 6 years so it’s not like we’re not going to get married at some point. And if we don’t, I want these dishes anyways because I’ll be buying a house and settling down with or without a man!
Post # 3
I have to see what these dishes look like!!! 🙂
Post # 4
Why don’t you buy them and use them immediately?
Post # 5
I’m really confused. I’m not sure why your mom would have to buy them? could your SO buy them if you are low on cash?
Post # 6
Ask your mom to buy them and hold on to them until the wedding if she really wants to give you dishes as your wedding gift. Or ask to get them as a Birthday present/Christmas Present. Either way- tell her these are the ones you really want and are positive.
Post # 7
If your mom really wants to get you dishes for your wedding gift, whihc is kind of odd to think about if you’re not even engaged yet, ask her to buy them now and just hold on to it. Or ask her to buy them as an engagement present since that is coming up soon. If it were me though, and I loved something that much and there was a chance I cant get it later, I’d just buy it myself right now!
Post # 8
One thing you do want to consider, also, is replaceability. While I know that there are never guarantees with dishes continuing, you should realize that you will never be able to replace broken dishes.
Post # 9
If it was that important to me, I would just buy them myself. But also remember that if they are already discontinued, it will be very hard to find replacements and/or add to your collection in the future.
Post # 10
I’m confused too. Why would you have to wait to use them if you bought them? They would be yours. You don’t have to wait until you are married to use dishes. What are you eating off now?
Post # 11
I would just buy them myself. Actually I wouldn’t because I don’t care about dishes and use a hodgepodge of Salvation Army dishes, lol, but if I really wanted something I would just buy it for myself. If $200 is worrisome to you, maybe you should get a supplemental job while waiting for your professional license? Not for the dishes but just for financial security? I wouldn’t want to be in a position where $200 is a make-or-break amount. If you are in DC I know that you can pull in $200 working one shift as a waitress, lol. Anyways, good luck!
Post # 12
Unless you are engaged or your mom knows that your SO has the ring, I can sort of see her not wanting to buy them so you so you can have them someday. If I were you, I would buy them if I could afford them or else unfortunately pass them up.
Post # 13
Why does it have to be for a wedding present? Just ask everyone in your life (not just mom) to buy them for you and give them to you over the next X years as birthday/holiday presents. Buy up the remaining if any are left. Or ask your SO to do so as a variant on a promise ring 🙂 (I don’t believe in promise rings myself, but this seems a great time for it.)
For so long I tried to avoid buying kitchen items to save the classic registry items. I finally gave up and got/asked for what I wanted, because who knows when I’ll get married. I do admit, I’ve tried to save dishes for the registry though (don’t look and you won’t fall in love with something!), but that’s about it that’s left on it.
Post # 14
To answer all your questions, it is really unreasonable for me to buy them myself. I will try to find a job to make money during my unemployment, but from others’ experiences in my field, I won’t get hired because it’s obvious I’m waiting until my license comes through. I do have the money for it, I just don’t want to have money tied up in dishes I don’t need this millisecond in case something happens. I’m a total cheapskate!
Right now, I’m using some plates my mom found for me at a garage sale that I hate! They’re so heavy that I can barely hold them. The bowls are a disaster to sip from too and not very big. I guess I don’t need to wait to use them if I get them!
And, my mom is absolutely insistent on buying me dishes for my wedding. And my SO can’t buy them because he’s very low on cash as well.
So you all helped me come up with a solution, I graduate from grad school in May, so I’ll give her options
- Get them for future wedding/engagement and save them
- It’s my graduation present
- I will find a way to buy them myself!
Post # 15
Can you just have your mom buy them now and call them an early early early wedding present? If you hate your dishes now, it seems so silly for them to sit in a box for year or two just to wait for the ‘right time’ to give it to you, unless you really want to wait until you’re married to use it.
Post # 16
Which ones are they? I wonder if they’re the ones we have (we received a notice that they were being discontinued RIGHT after our wedding).