(Closed) The proper length of time for an engagement?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What is a good length of time for an engagement?

    6-9 months - the sooner, the better!

    1 year - just enough time to get things done!

    2 years - ain't nothing wrong with a long engagement!

    2.5+ years - who says you have to get married right away?

  • Post # 3
    4812 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I am not sure there is a “proper time”. It is whatever feels right for you.

    My husband and I were engaged for about 2.5 months. We were ready and wantig to get married as soon as we were engaged, but waited so that we could have a handful of people we wanted there, and we were close to, to witness our wedding, too.

    Post # 4
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted for 2.5 years simply because there was no “other” option and the “proper time” greatly depends on the individuals. When my Fiance and I got engaged we wanted 18-24 months. However we had to extend our engagement and will be engaged for almost 4 1/2 years when we get married next year. He decided he wanted to go to grad school and I certainly wasn’t going to tell him no so we simply decided to let him focus on school. It was no big deal for us and the time has actually flown by.

    Post # 5
    633 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I didn’t vote. I don’t think there is a proper amount of time, it really varies per couple. Fiance and I will have been engaged almost 2 years by the time we get married in Sept. For some people, that’s WAY too long. For us, it’s perfect. A friend of mine was engaged for 3 months, and that was right for them.

    The reasons for having a long engagement vary so much, there’s no right way to do it. Some people need to save, some people want a specific season wedding, some people just want to bask in engagement for longer.

    Post # 6
    1174 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Our total engagement will be almost 8 months and I feel like it’s a good amount of time. I think a lot of it depends on the couple & where they are in their life. We’re relatively young (24 & 23), but we’ve been together over 7 years. Honestly, I think we would have gotten married sooner if we didn’t want to plan a wedding the whole family could attend. Our whole wedding is already booked and pretty much all set. I have a couple DIY things I’d like to do, but I feel like I just have so much time. Some friends I have are doing longer engagements because they are in school or are doing volunteer work in other countries, so they’re waiting until their lives calm down to get married. It all really depends! I don’t think there’s one set amount of time that is right. I know for me, the thought of being engaged more than a year was horrible and I knew it wouldn’t work for us. But I think as long as you’re happy with your engagement length, there’s nothing that’s “too long”.

    Post # 8
    1603 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I’m not engaged yet either, but the SO and I have been discussing this very topic.  He  wants to propose before next spring & would rather a shorter engagement, but I want a 2yr. engagement if he wants to propose within that timeframe (mainly b/c I want to finish law school 1st). So it’ll probably be a 2yr, b/c I generally get what I want.

    Post # 9
    2360 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ours will be 1 year 3 months. I don’t want to be planning this wedding for years!

    Post # 10
    7550 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    i don’t think there is a proper time, but for my Fiance and I will be engaged for 3-4 years, possibly longer, and that will work for us (we are not commencing serious planning yet, not until a year or two out from the wedding, but we have tossed around ideas at least and know where we want the ceremony to be, and are going to attend wedding shows/expos) i am still studying and have two and a half years to go for my degree, my Fiance has no tertiary qualifications and wants to gain some, and we also want to live together for a year or two before we get married. so 3-4 years is a good time for us 🙂

    Post # 11
    660 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    However long you need or want!  We didn’t want a long engagement.  We didn’t get engaged until we were in a place to get married.  But, some people see engagement as the symbol of deciding they want to get married, even if they can’t do it in the immediate future.  It’s up to you and your SO which approach you want to take!

    FTR, we were engaged for about 7 months (early June engagement, December 28th wedding).

    Post # 12
    9 posts
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I definitely don’t think there’s a “proper” length of time.  Here’s how I see it – if he proposes and you’re both ready then go at whatever pace you see fit.

    For me, I wanted a longer engagement so that I could take my time to do DIY things for the wedding.  Also, since Mr. Hugz and I are paying for parts of the wedding we needed to be able to save up for our share.  We got engaged in October 2011 and won’t be married until February 2013.  It’s about a 1 1/2 year engagement.  For some, that’s “long”.

    My sister was engaged for about 3 years before they tied the knot.  They couldn’t decide on the type of wedding they wanted, or the venue.  Truth be told, she ended up planning and organizing the whole wedding in about 6 months.

    So, do whatever you’re comfortable with.  If you want to get engaged and married in one month you can, it’s up to you and your guy!  🙂

    Post # 13
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted for 1 year but my total engagement will actually be about 16 months.  We got engaged this December but we both had our hearts set on a May wedding (there’s significance to the date we picked).  Since I didn’t think I could put together a fairly large (200 ppl) wedding in just 5 months, we opted for May of next year.  If it was logistically possible to plan the wedding for this May we would have definitely done it.  But like a lot of the pp have been saying, there’s really no ideal length of time.  What I’ve learned is that when you get proposed to has a lot to do with it.  Our engagement will be 16 months but if it was realistic, we would have been happy with a 5 month engagement.  Venues and vendors where I’m from book at least 10-12 months out if not more.

    Post # 14
    7112 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Agree with above. Ours is 18 months because we wanted Labor Day weekend but couldn’t get it ready by this year (especially since we’re about to move!)

    Post # 15
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t vote, because my answer is right in the middle of two – I think a 9 months – 1 year engagement would be ideal.  Six months would be way to short and stressful to me to get everything done.  And now that I’ve passed the year mark I am just ready to get this show on the road. 

    My engagement will end up being almost 15 months.  We got engaged last March and having an October or earlier wedding felt too soon.  We also wanted to have the ceremony outside, which means we need a warmer month, and having a winter wedding could’ve meant having a snow storm ruin people’s travel plans.  So November – April were out.  Which left us with May being the earliest.  Hence, our 5/27/12 wedding date :).

    Post # 16
    2357 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    more power to all of you who can wait that long, but I’m ready to just get this show on the road! I told Fiance I needed 6 months to plan, but that’s only because venues and vendors book up so far in advance?  I’d be happy with like 3 or 4 months of engagement since I’m also in school right now? 6 months still feels long when I’m just ready to be done planning and be married!

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