Post # 1
So we have been planning our May wedding for about six weeks, but I haven’t told anyone at work because I’m not super close with any of my coworkers and I wanted to pick a ring before announcing our engagement. My ring arrived yesterday, so we were planning to do the “proposal” this weekend.
I have a coworker who is in office next to mine who has been talking NONSTOP about how she hoped her boyfriend would propose this year. She came back from a long weekend trip today with a ring on her finger. I’m really happy for her, but I’m worried about upstaging her by coming in on Monday “officially engaged”. At the same time, I don’t want to wait any longer. We were planning on sharing the engagement with our extended family at a get-together on Sunday.
Would it be wrong to do the engagement over the weekend but just leave my ring at home when I come to work for a few weeks? I’m worried about SO taking that the wrong way, and after all the time I spent agonizing over which ring to pick I also want to be able to wear the darn thing!
Post # 2
why are you worried? it is your marriage, and you are merely coworkers. Enjoy your ring, you have a right to do so!
Post # 3
tatjanafaith: Agreed. It’d be strange to change engagement plans because of a coworker. Sure, the timing isn’t ideal, but it’s something you and your SO have been planning and looking forward to. As long as you don’t blatantly try to outshine/overshadow the coworker, I think it’ll be fine. She can’t expect the world to be put on hold until her own engagement buzz dies down.
Post # 4
theonlywayisorange: Can we see the ring? You have nothing to worry about. This is so not an issue. Wear your ring proudly on Monday morning! Engaged coworker will probably be thrilled to have another bride to talk weddings with.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
theonlywayisorange: people are allowed to be engaged at the same time. And this is a coworker not a close friend, family member. I wouldn’t be giving this a second thought.
Post # 6
Huh, what? agreed with tatjanafaith:
Post # 7
theonlywayisorange: I don’t think you should be worried about upstaging her. Embrace it as a moment where “Oh my goodness, we’re both engaged!! This is exciting!” If you plan on inviting coworkers to your wedding, this is a great opportunity to both be excited about wedding details, etc. But of course if you’re not inviting coworkers, I would just focus on the excitement phase and make sure to not get into lengthy wedding-planning convos.
Post # 8
theonlywayisorange: Perhaps this will give you something to bond over! Spin it like: “How cool is it that we are both engaged!”
Post # 9
If she feels upstaged, it is her fault and not yours. You get to announce your engagment, have the oohs and awws, and then you get your wedding day. Unless this person was a close family member (and I’m talking sister) and it happened the day before, don’t put your life plans on hold for other people.
Post # 10
theonlywayisorange: This is silly enough when it’s sisters, cousins, best friends, etc. But when it’s a co-worker that you aren’t even close with, it is totally 100% a non-issue.
Post # 11
Have the engagement! Most engagements aren’t “planned” by both people anyways so its not like she could blame you for getting engaged. Wear the ring- you don’t have to walk around the office flashing it in peoples face…
Post # 12
Do you think your co-worker would have put off announcing her engagement if you had yours first? No. Because that’s ridiculous.
Literally, my thought when I read your post title was “so?”. You are way, way overthinking this.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
It’s a total non-issue. Congrats on your (pending) engagement!
Post # 14
You’ve agreed to marry and you’re planning a wedding. Congrats, you are engaged and it sounds like you have been for a few weeks already!!! No reason not to wear your ring at this point.
Post # 15
Don’t put your plans on hold for anyone else. What if you “wait” and then a friend gets engaged next week? Are you going to put your engagement on hold indefinitely? Your co-worker gets a day and, to be quite honest, if someone else just happened to get engaged on the same day then she doesn’t even get that. You don’t have to make a big show of things, just start wearing your ring to work and if someone notices you can tell them the news.