Post # 1
Hi everyone. This is my first post so I’m really looking forward to some good advice =).
I have a problem with choosing bridesmaids. I don’t have any female friends. I have girls that I see ocassionally and they are usually just the current girlfriends of my fiance’s friends. I don’t really know what to do about this and I don’t want my bridesmaids to be all my female coworkers. They are the only girls I actually see on a regular basis. My fiance actually suggested setting me up on girl dates. Any advice on my predicament? Thanks!
Post # 3
My first honest suggestion is to wait wait wait to select your bridesmaids. Give yourself time-you have a full year and a bit until your wedding so you don’t have to select too soon. Do you have any siblings, cousins or FSIL you could ask? If not, I would sit tight and see who you enjoy spending your time most with-even if it is with co-workers. You don’t need a large bridal party at all and I have even seen “Bridesmen” so that is always an option too!
Post # 4
I’m sorry I don’t have advice on the whole girl date thing, but on a separate note, do you have more closer male friends? Do you really need to have female bridesmaids? I’ve heard of a “Kings” wedding where the bridal party is only men, and so the bride is the only woman. I found this explanation on Kings weddings from google “This kind of ceremony reflects the days of marriage by capture, when the groom’s friends would escort the bride to her wedding to protect her from being whisked away by other suitors”. I think it’s something to consider.
Post # 5
And I also agree with Saeliz–don’t rush to decide this yet!!
Post # 6
Any sisters or cousins? What about you mom or another close female figure you admire? My fiance really wanted his dad to be his best man.
Actually, scratch that. You don’t HAVE to have bridesmaids unless you really truly want them! My fiance and I toyed with the idea of no wedding party and I loved the thought! While they can be nice to have around to help you out and show some love, bridesmaids can come with a lot of extra stress, decisions to be made, things to keep up with, and they’re another expense to add to your budget. I LOVE seeing weddings with no wedding party. Or, if you do want a wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with just having all guys or groomsmen only if you’re okay with that kind of thing!
I say don’t worry about what you don’t have and instead embrace the situation you are in and use it to your advantage. 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy
Only go out and try to make new female friends if you want more female friends, don’t do it just so you can have bridesmaids. Plus you can always have an uneven/male/mixed/small or no bridal party. But if you want to meet some new women maybe try a local bee meet-up?
Post # 8
I am thinking I’ll end up having this same problem. Feel free to just do without a bridal party, it’s really not that unusual!
Post # 9
i did family for my side of the party. i couldnt figure out girls. and then there is one who is my fiances good friend. mainly it was that or the girlfriends of his good friends who are in the wedding. i dont know. but, you dont neceessarily have to have the same number of people on both sides.
Post # 10
Family: sisters, cousins, male cousins’ wives, aunts, etc.
Family in law: groom’s sisters, cousins, aunts etc. (if you are somewhat close or know them)
The two above are good even if you aren’t THAT close because they are family and will always be there. For in laws, its a good way to get to know them.
Groomsmen’s gfs or wives if they are married/in a relationship
Old friends? Any old best friend from elementary school that you are still on good terms with and might not see as often? Might be a fun time to rekindle.
I also agree that it’s okay not to rush this. Often I see girls who choose their wedding party super early and then kick people out or some people drop out.
Post # 11
I’ve heard of people having bridesmen, bridesdogs, no bridal party whatsoever, you name it! So don’t feel pressured to find a line of girls to walk up the aisle with you.
Also, in reality, you only need to find your bridesmaids in time to order their dresses, which you want to do about 6 months before the wedding (assuming their dresses are being ordered from a bridal salon). Schedule some dinner dates with your coworkers, friends, and any relatives your age… just to catch up on things and get to know them better. You have plenty of time to “make friends” before you need to decide on bridesmaids!
Post # 12
I also want to add that having no wedding party is cool too. My parents didn’t have bridesmaid/groomsmen, only a flower girl. They had friends and family, but they wanted to keep the day low key and simple for themselves. No party = NO DRAMA!
Post # 13
I feel where you are coming from. The only good friend I had left bailed on being my bridesmaid in a very rude way (guess thats why I have no girl friends, I chose bad ones). So Im just using my sister in law and cousin. I say if you don’t have any girls in your family and your fiance is cool with no wedding party I would do that. I wouldn’t want to go on girl dates, it might be akward and a lot of pressure on you.
Or you could hang out more with the girls that are your fiances friends or get to knoq the ones you see occasionally (if you like them). Build on what you already have is my advise.
Post # 14
My fiance has no groomsmen. He has no really close male friends he feels comfortable enough to ask. I had already wanted 2 of my friends in the wedding, and I had considered asking one of them to stand on his side so it would be even. 😉 But I honestly don’t think it makes a difference if one side is uneven.
We solved this problem by asking my two oldest nieces (Ages 14 and 18, both whom love my fiance and vice versa) to be his escort down the aisle, and will be standing on his side. So my wedding party will be entirely female.
Or I would vote for no wedding party at all. I would have been fine with that as well, honestly.
I saw where the actress Marcia Cross had her entire wedding party made up of flower girls. That’s a cute idea too.
Post # 15
I can be your bridesmaid! Lol jk but I was kind of in the same position. I mean I had my two sisters (who are under 18!) and I had originally picked two girls I was in school with at the moment. I totally rushed into it, and then I regreted it and asked to step doown….I felt pretty mean but in the end everyone was happy I ended up asking my HS best friend and my brothers GF. Now everything is ok and I am stress free!