The real reason I've been made to wait

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Wow awesome job addressing the problem and not the symptom! It sounds like your relationship is headed in a great direction! Very happy for you guys ☺️

Post # 3
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

That sounds like great progress! Being able to honestly communicate is huge. Im also a BIG believer in deliberately making sure you have time alone to bond/connect in a way and frequency that works for both of you.

Its great you are able to reflect on yourself and recognize things you want to improve. I hope this connection continues and if it does, I would think the engagement would follow within the timeline he stated.

Post # 5
Member
7185 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

That’s exciting that you’ve had a breakthrough in your communication and relationship. Do you know one another’s love languages? It sounds like physical intimacy has been pleasurable in this current phase, but if you know what makes him feel loved and he knows what makes you feel loved, then you can each be sure to connect in quality ways, even when your body is expressing that being touched in the moment is the top of your “Oh Hell No” list.

Have fun! And keep being honest with one another! The Gottmans say that happy couples that last 40, 50 years plus argue or disagree about the same things they disagreed about in the early years, they just approach the disagreements differently.

Post # 7
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

This is a really positive step forward for your relationship and for both of your personal wellbeing.

I totally get you on the anxiety/digestive issues/physical intimacy issue. It’s something I’ve been dealing with too and leaves me with a lot of guilt over the fact that I so rarely initiate physical intimacy with my fiance. I know I should do it more, I just don’t. I need to work on that. Thank you for the inspiration to do so 🙂

Post # 9
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

💕💕💕

Post # 10
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

View original reply
catqueen92 :  Thank you.

It’s been a long two years for me. I was having really bad stomach issues last year that I sought the help of a naturopath with after several Drs weren’t able to help me. Things did seem to get better, not not entirely. 

Then, I also started seeing a psychologist for what, at the time, I thought was mild persistent depression. She eventually suggested that the root of the depression was ADHD, which was also causing a tonne of anxiety that I wasn’t recognising as such.  Now, I’ve spend the last several months working toward getting an official diagnosis and medication. I had to wait a couple months, but I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist this week! I’m nervous but happy to feel like I’m getting somewhere!

Post # 12
Member
845 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
catqueen92 :  It’s awesome you were able to have that conversation and then work to improve things!

May I also suggest CBT or meditation to help your stress/anxiety issues? It will make a world of difference for you to not have to deal with that. 

Post # 14
Member
26 posts
Newbee

Very glad to hear of a positive turn of events. I would suggest that you take engagement off the table to a while so you can focus on your relationship and your therapy. There is no rush to get engaged, and it is better to take the time in your 20s to focus on yourself and your own happiness before taking the step to marriage.

Post # 15
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can relate so much!! My love language is touch, not only sex, but also emotionally. I NEED INTIMACY, while DH only need sex lol. We just have second child so our together time is decreased drastically, and it starting to mess with my head, make me in bad mood and bitching a lot, so we fight more than usual.

Then we talked about it, that I need him talking to me, just chit chat while snuggling, for about an hour at least twice a week. He understand although often forget. communication is key!! And I really think you make a very good conversation!!

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