(Closed) The responsibilities of living on your own….

posted 10 years ago in Home
Post # 16
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m 22 and I lived on my own for the past two years.  I had to move back in with my parents two weeks ago because i’m struggling to find a job.  i HATE that I can’t go to the grocery store and cook anymore.  It’s weird, but it feels like such a lack of independence to not have any control over what you eat or when you eat.  I was used to making the meals I liked whenever I was hungry..now i’m waiting around for “dinner time” and the food is usually not what i’m craving.  I can’t wait to find a job so i can get my own place again and regain that sense of agency.  

Post # 17
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

At 21 I was working a full time job and had bills, but no children yet. But I definitely knew what it was like to have responsibility. Some people are just going to be that way, no matter what. Personally I would rather have the love of my life, my baby and my happiness over what Gucci or Prada could give me. It is materialistic, and I love fashion just as much as the next person, but yes indeed there is more to life than a label!

Post # 18
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wanted to add that I think people are being a little harsh to the friend here. She obviously has a job, as the OP said and its working with kids, you can’t be an irresponsible person and work in a daycare, you’d get fired real quick, and she’s working toward her education, she just doesn’t want to be married with children yet. I don’t think that makes her irresponsible at all, I just think she’s at a different place in her life. Now if the OP was saying she failed out of school can’t hold a job and has resorted to living with her parents ok, thats a different story, but thats not the case at all!

Post # 19
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with June42011…21 is still pretty young so it’s understandable that she wouldn’t necessarily want to be married with kids.  I was a little more financially independent at 21 than she is, but nothing wrong with that.  I paid cell phone & gas since I was 16, then I graduated at 21 and had to pay car insurance, clothes, entertainment.  I lived at home for 10 months to save up before I moved out on my own, so I paid everything on my own by the time I was 22.  In the next couple years I’m sure she’ll have much more responsibility.  I think it’s nice that her parents would pay for her while she’s in college (one less thing to worry about).  I think the only issue is that she might have made the OP feel bad, or that the way she was saying things sounded like she was being critical.

Post # 20
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Okay this girl is way way spoiled!  I had to buy my own groceries and pay my own bills starting at 18!

Post # 22
Member
551 posts
Busy bee

I am also a 40 year old trapped in a 24 year old body and have been like that even in college. You are not alone and kudos to you for being so responsible and providing a wonderful life for your family.

Post # 23
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Um I’ve lived on my own since I was 19 – paying bills, doing laundry, and *gasp* cleaning.I’ve got a lot of friends who are like this though – few people realize how much it costs to buy food and basic needs each month because they’re so used to someone doing it for them.

She’ll have a rude awakening one day when she has to buy it herself!

Post # 24
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t know if there is anything wrong with her sentiment but it seems like the way she is saying it is what’s rubbing you the wrong way.  I was living out of my parents’ home (in college apartments) at 21 but I really didn’t have that many responsibilities other than school at that time.  I’m sure I couldn’t have imagined being married and taking care of a household and child at that time.  It seems more rude that she would be sitting across from you making it sound like her life is so much better/easier when it is just different.

Post # 25
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I’ve definitely known girls like this. Especially (and I’m not trying to be mean to ANY sorority girls) some of the girls who live in the sorority houses around here. I will see them in the grocery store and they completely clueless and saying they’ve never been grocery shopping in their life – and they’re 23/24 years old! 

I know that’s not true of a lot of sorority girls, so I’m not trying to stereotype, just saying that in my town that seems to be a bit of a trend. It always surprises me because I’ve been grocery shopping and cooking for myself ever since I moved out at 19!

Post # 26
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We had a lady who cooked for us at our sorority so all the basics were supplied. And it was a RUSH going grocery shopping! I felt like I needed everything! I used to go to the store for ingredients to make a cake or something–but I’d never done full on grocery shopping. But seriously, it’s not that hard–you go in, you buy food, you give the lady at the counter money….how is it rocket science?

Personally from the people I know, it’s more common for people to be “taken care of” until they are 20-ish (in college at least) and be financially supported by a parent, plus live in a sorority or fraternity (all the food is already there, somebody comes and cooks/cleans for you) than the other side you guys are talking about: having an apartment, living on your own, being married and/or having kids. It would’ve been a “foreign” concept to me, but at the same time, when you are 21, you should have the TACT to not treat somebody who is doing their life differently so rudely and in such awe

the fact that she WORKS in a daycare and yet acted this way totally baffles me!

Post # 27
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

@ejs – Yeah, there is always food supplied at the sorority houses here, which totally makes sense. I guess it just surprises me that anyone at this age could still be completely confused about how to grocery shop… I mean, it’s a pretty simple concept!

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