(Closed) the ridiculous reason my FI's immediate family can't come to the wedding.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Sounds like poor excuse to get out of the Wedding! It’s sucks because that is his immediate family. 

Post # 62
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

sounds like your Fiance needs to deal with this and quickly! Stand your ground.  If they dont want to skip the stupid play, good riddance.  

Post # 63
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee

Wow.

i think its probably the step mom putting her children first, and his father just following along and not standing up for his son.

if they don’t come because of that reason, you are better off.

Post # 64
Member
2347 posts
Buzzing bee

gromble:  I totally feel you. My FI’s immediate family isn’t coming to our wedding (we only invited 20 people) because it’s “too far away”. We live in NYC, they live in Boston, AND we offered to pay for their transportation and hotels. When we were looking at having our wedding in Boston, they told us 2 of the venues were “too far away”…they were about 30 minutes away from where they live. 

Anyway, it sucks. But I feel you. It’s still going to be a beautiful day 🙂 

Post # 65
Member
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Maybe his stepmom is just really into her kids. Did she apologize for not being able to attend? Maybe they just aren’t very close. Regardless, you’re probably better off not having them there if they’re really not that interested.

Post # 66
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

gromble:  I feel you! My sister asked if I could reschedule the wedding because… she was planning to go on holiday with her friends around that time. Never mind that she and her friends hadn’t even settled on when exactly they were going and hadn’t booked tickets yet or anything. And then she got upset when I said I couldn’t because FI’s family had chosen the date (they are traditional and wanted to choose an auspicious date). We had an argument where she accused me of letting FI’s mother control me. When my parents found out, she denied that it was because of a holiday and claimed that it was because of school. Guess what. She’s going off on her holiday pretty much immediately after the wedding. 

Post # 67
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

gromble:  Yep, sounds like pure B.S., to me!

By the time my daughter was Aunt Eller in “Oklahoma,” in her junior year of high school, she had been in the cast of 30 school and community theater musicals and plays. There’s a small chance that they know the rehearsal schedule 5 months before and a small chance that the roles in the play have even been cast.

As a freshman in high school, my daughter was chosen to sing in a high school chorus, to honor the opening of a large concert hall, in the city near us. She had school musical rehearsals that weekend, but her director gladly let her take the time off for the concert, because it was such an honor to be chosen. I would think that  a step-brother’s wedding would be important enough to let the kids out of a rehearsal, or two?

It sounds like they’re fishing for an excuse not to come. Frankly, I think you’re better off without them.

Post # 68
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

One of my brothers didn’t come to my wedding with his family because he said he was uncomfortable in social events….when I was having a 35 person wedding and he is all into different community groups and public speaking there.  You can’t make people care, and ultimately I’m glad just for the people who show me they really do care and were there for me.  I’m sorry his family is on that level as well, but you can’t fix people who act like that. 

Post # 69
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

What kind of theater auditions, casts, and sets the rehearsal schedule for a play five months out?! I’ve had directors let me go from dress rehearsals for family emergencies; they have plenty of time to clear the conflict with their director.  You have every right to be upset!<br /><br />ETA that I have worked with theaters that cast their entire season in advance.  However, if they’ve known the date for a good eight months, then they could absolutely clear it.  With the possible exception of a dress rehearsal, most directors are pretty understanding of the occassional conflict.  Not that you don’t already know that.    I’m just baffled that they think they could use that as an excuse.  

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  miekochan.
Post # 70
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I wouldn’t have even dignified that stupidity with a response. Like really….who asks someone to reschedule their wedding? Let alone for a play REHEARSAL. I’m just…really? Lol

Post # 71
Member
1031 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - His Way Church & Chesapeake Room @ Downs Park

Wow. It seems like they are passive-aggressively trying to show that they don’t support the wedding or something. I wouldn’t worry about it at this point. If that’s where their priorities are, maybe it’s better for them not to be there. I honestly feel like even if you did end up rescheduling (which they probably aren’t expecting at ALL), they would come up with another excuse as to why they can’t come. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic, so I’m sorry if my negative opinion gets you down.

Post # 73
Member
12624 posts
Honey Beekeeper

If they are really that oblivious and wrapped up in themselves, Fiance should tell them directly how important this is to both of you and how much it would mean that they attend. That way they can never claim that they didn’t know. 

Post # 74
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

If I wasn’t close with them, I’ll be happier than them coming. 😛

Post # 75
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Museum

Oh my dear God… my friend canceled her trip to Australia to be at our wedding (that’s still 8 months away). If they don’t care enough to be there because of the… ahem… kids’ rehearsal, then you should enjoyed the people who will be there celebrating such a special day with you.

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