Post # 1
This is my first time here but i read a post that motivated me to drop my part in too. SO! On January 10, 2016 my boyfriend and I were packing my suitcase for me to come back home from my vacation in the US where I went to spend a couple days with him. I stayed by his aunt as I had no where else to stay. As we were packing I got frustrated about the stuff not fitting. I left the room and came back to see him on the floor, he had a ring with our flag (jamaican) on it and so i was playing with it and fitting my finger in. He then said to me, “why don’t you wear your own ring?” and I said “what are you talking about?” and he said ” will you be my fiance?” and smiled and said “maybe” and laughed then said “of course” and he placed the ring on my finger.
The following day his mom came over to the house, she came up to Jamaica from a funeral and he told her he proposed to me and she looked at the ring and just stared at it. In my eyes she was everything but happy for us. After that we just left for ice cream. We laughed about her face but it tore something in me because she claims to like me.
The following day I returned to Jamaica after a very difficult goodbye to my now fiance. After a 4 hour flight I landed in Jamaica and with tears in my eyes made it through customs and waited in his dad to come get me. When he came I showed him and I know he is a man of little words so he shown light on it and said something like “nice”. I don’t really remember. I finally get to my house and the look on my mom’s is so unpleasant and I’m just not ready to deal with her crap. So I showed her the ring and she said she doesn’t like it because an engagement ring shouldn’t look like that. I was hurt and I said nothing. I few days later, she says i hope you haven’t told anyone about him proposing because it was just the two of you and no witnesses to validate it. A few days again we went on the mall and I went to a jeweller because I was wondering if it could be resized and the jeweller said no because it was not real gold so I was fine with that. After we left the store she asked me why I’m still wearing the ring and if she were me she would take it off and I made her know that I knew the ring was not real gold but I still wanted to know if it could be resized. She frowned and said if she were me she would call up my boyfriend and cuss and I’m like “I knew it was not real because this is a place holder till he buys the one he really wants to get me but this was to symbolize in the meanwhile”. She frowned and carried on.
To cut the story short she told me we are not engaged and I told her she was being dishonest because my bf spoke to her about asking me to marry him and she was fine with everything and now she is bitching. She is saying until we go to our church and do it with the ring he wants to purchase then I am not engaged but, I told my boyfriend all this and I told him I am hurt and it feels like our friends are the only people that have really been happy for us.
I did not imagine my engagement to be like this. Ring or no ring I am engaged and will be getting married in 3 years time. Even his aunt said she Loves the ring and stuff but, his mom said that “we are not engaged and that it is a getting-to-know-each-other ring. I’m 22 years and he is 24 years old. He lives in the US now, he migrated some years back (we were besties then) and I’m still in Jamaica in my final months of getting my bachelor’s degree in nursing.
I’m distraught and rather upset.
Post # 2
If there are any questions to aid in clarification please let me know.N.B- My fiance is not bothered by them as he says he is focusing on us.
Post # 3
Sorry your mom is being like that. You don’t even need a ring at all to be engaged. You got a proposal AND a ring — you’re engaged. Congratulations!
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard
No ring needed to be engaged. That said, I’d still like to see it 🙂
Post # 5
I’m so sorry your parents are reacting like that. They might not have realized how serious you two were until the engagement.
You are definitely engaged. I got engaged without any ring at all and a lot of other people have too. The ring sounds like a sweet and heartfelt gesture on his part. 🙂
Post # 6
It’s a shame that your family is treating you the way they are, but probably they just have their own notion of how things should be done and what happened with you and your Fiance doesn’t fit into that mold. Try not to be too upset because at the end of the day you are engaged to the man you love and you have your whole lives together to show them that they were wrong to doubt your engagement and committment to each other. Regardless of their lack of enthusiasm, it is good to hear that your Fiance is focusing on just you guys and that your friends are happy for you too. Ring or no ring, if you have both decided to spend your lives together and have decided on a date, then you are engaged to be married.
If it makes you feel better, my Fiance didn’t tell his family he was going to propose and we came back from a cruise (it was actually to Jamaica ;)) and we went to his mom’s house first to tell her and show her the ring and she was very blase about it. She just kind of briefly glanced at the ring and said, “Oh, nice.” and then moved on with the conversation. There was no gushing over the ring, no asking how he proposed, nothing. It was pretty obvious she wasn’t that excited, but I didn’t let her rain on my parade and I suggest you don’t let anyone else rain on yours. Congats on your engagement and also, congrats on almost being done with nursing school! 🙂
Post # 7
Congratulations! I’m sorry that your relatives are being such jerks. I’ve never heard of needing witnesses to get engaged, or needing to be in a church. Your story sounds super cute to me. Rock that ring with pride!
Post # 8
That sucks and appears to either reek of snobbery or your families are both so extremely traditional that it simply won’t do. He proposed, you said yes, you are engaged even if he dumped a jug of water over your head afterwards and never gave you a ring at all. I think both families are being rude – people can be excited about an engagement while still thinking a ring is unappealing. Look to your friends and his aunt for the support you would wish of your parents.
Post # 9
lol your comment made me smile but, it is appreciated. Thank you!
Post # 10
Thank you dear 🙂 I appreciate it!
Post # 11
Thank you thank you and thank you! 🙂
Post # 12
Congratulations ☺a ring isn’t the be all and end all so hopefully both of your mums realise this soon. Easier said than done but try not to let it get you down too much.
Post # 13
I didn’t have a ring, for weeks after I accepted my FH’s proposal. My grandmother gave him her engagement ring, to give to me. Because of arthritis in her fingers, she was no longer able to wear it. We’ve been married almost 40 years.
Post # 14
I am indeed rocking in no matter how many times my mom says I should take it off and stop soiling up my finger. Thank you for your support.
Post # 15
i know because from time to time things will get tough but, I LOVE HIM and vice versa.
Thank you! I am super motivated. I am going through with it is what I told myself because I know the LOVE we have is genuine.