Post # 1
Oh, the joys of the waiting game, right?
I’ll confess that I had about 6 months of pretty “ugly” waiting. We’d been dating for over two years (and I’m in my early 30s, he’s in his very late 20s) and I was beyond ready for that next step…we’d faced challenges together and we already talked like we were married (kids names, where we wanted to live, etc.) and generally had an extremely good relationship. And I was fruststrated, hurt and sad that we weren’t on the same page and he wasn’t ready. But, my SO is a very, very deliberate guy. He makes NO choices lightly, which is actually one of the reasons I love him (I’m a wee bit more spontaneous!) but it meant that it took a lot longer for him to start to be ready to think about getting engaged. I knew in my head that he just needed more time and that I needed to respect his choices, but it was definitely a challenging time. At times, I felt like we were forever going to be stuck in that limbo.
We’ve finally both gotten to a place where we’re ready to move forward — his business is doing really well and we know that we want a life together. We’ve loosely agreed that we’d like to be engaged by early spring. And so now I am doing my BEST to drop the topic, enjoy our last few months of dating and to let him surprise me. As he says, he only plans on doing this once and he wants to do it right. But, I definitely have days where I feel my anxiety over the whole thing come roaring back. I start to wonder if he really will propose (I have ZERO reason to doubt him…) and I start to hear off-hand comments for way more than what they are. So far, I’ve kept my pact to myself to drop the issue, but there are days when it’s hard and when I feel like I am so beyond over this waiting game…
Normal? Any advice to just relax and enjoy? And, to all of you others who are struggling while seeing your FB feed fill with engagements, watching TV commericals showing guys falling over themselves to propose and answering family questions about WHEN, I’m sending a hug to you!! xox
Post # 2
My SO picked up my engagement ring Saturday night. He doesn’t realize I know he picked it up. He thinks he has me convinced it’s on layaway but I saw the sales receipt show it was paid for. Saturday night we went to look at lights… nothing. Sunday we went out to a nice dinner…. nothing! I have told him for several months while we were looking at rings that I don’t want it Christmas Eve or Christmas day… So I’m waiting… I can’t say patiently because that would be a lie… I’m just waiting… LOL I’ve made comments to him about those damn holiday engagement commercials and he just laughs… they are annoying when you are in waiting status…
Post # 3
It’s great that you and your SO were able to talk through this and agree on a timeline for a proposal!
I know it can be frustrating at times when what you really want is to just experience that wonderful moment asap. But hang in there and I think you’ve got the right idea about enjoying these last months of dating.
Toward the end of our dating period, before we got engaged, I got a little antsy too. But in retrospect — now that we’re married — I love looking back on all the fun we had while we were dating. It’s a very special time.
If early spring is his deadline, maybe that means you’ll get a Valentine’s proposal! To me, that would be the ultimate! But then I’m a sucker for Valentine’s Day, lol!
Post # 4
A rollercoaster, in fact, if you look back at my very first post, I titled it “My Rollercoaster”.
I suggest the SIUP, I was cynical of the thread at first thinking what is there to stop me Saying something? But surprisingly it actually works. It gives me a deadline date to keep quiet until, and it feels like such an achievement when I reach it! I’ve gone over a week in the current round and it’s easy this time! Probably with Xmas round the corner. Although it is on my mind all the time with engagements seeming to be the number one topic on my FB.
i hope you’re Xmas goes smoothly and you have a wonderful time. Sending hugs and understanding of the ups and downs of waiting!
Post # 5
Awwww – hugs! Waiting is tough as my soon-to-be-FI has my ring but he plans to do to the proposal in a few months, around our 1-year anniversary. It sounds you have an awesome guy – I suggest focusing on him and making it the best Holidays ever!
Post # 6
Thanks, bees! Most days I am just excited and happy to drool over rings on here and try to support other bees who are where I was a few months ago :). But other days (like today), I definitely feel anxious and a bit discouraged. While I can’t wait for the surprise and know he’s the guy for me, waiting ISN’T easy. 🙂
Post # 7
All of you ladies are very lucky. Hope this will make you feel better and happy about your progress. I am currently waiting. My SO was the one who brought up marriage but that was a year ago. He is in a rough spot with money right now and he says he has a couple reasons y hes not ready. Weve been together a year and 7 months so i can see waiting til 3rd year at most but i cry a lot. It was alomst everyday but now maybe once a week. He knows how bad i want to marry him and he says we will. We live together and have a child. He also takes care of my 6 year old with me. A great man! But i know a proposal is nowhere near now and i get very sad about fb posts. Almost all of my friends are married or engaged and evertone says just wait but its very very jard not knowing if he will ever be ready or what being ready is. So ypu ladies be happy where you are and congratulations to you
Post # 8
Facebook, Instagram, etc are the worst right now! I am in my final days of waiting and I know I am a horrible impatient grinch, to put it mildly, at times. Trying desperately to remember that in days we will be engaged and to sit back and let myself be surprised!