Post # 1
I have heard of people making rude comments about rings and engagements, but I never thought it would happen to me. Let me start by saying that my ring is not small by any standard. Most importantly, it is a family heirlom that has been in his family for 100 years. When Fiance told his mother that he was shopping for rings, she told him that she considered me part of the family, and felt I deserved to have the ring and continue the tradition but it was up to him. She offered the ring to him, he accepted it and proposed with this beautiful ring. I felt honored that Future Mother-In-Law felt this way.
Yesterday, I was helping Future Mother-In-Law at a church function, and several of her friends approched me to offer their congratulations and, of course, see the ring. One of FMIL’s friends (whom I have known for a long time, and considered a family friend), came up and asked to see the ring. We were in the kitchen and there were several people there who were listening to the conversation, including my Future Mother-In-Law. Well, I showed her the ring, she holds my hand and says, “Well, she could have gone a few sizes bigger on that stone. He could have given you a bigger ring”. Then, she proceeded to ask how big was it, how many carats, was it a real stone or a cubic zirconia? I told her that it was a very special ring as it was a family heirlom, and that everyone loves it. Besides, I am marrying the man and not the ring. Her response was priceless: ‘I can’t believe you have not had that ring appraised. How do you know is it real. You need to make sure you are getting the real thing because men will get old and crabby but your ring will sparkle forever.” WTF! Everyone in the room was speachless and looking at her like she has gone mad. I was humiliated but the worse is that she said all of that in front of my Future Mother-In-Law, who is the sweetest woman you would meet. The best part is that crazy woman then tells me that she wants to come to the wedding. My response: Oh Honey, I do not know. I am afraid our wedding will not be up to your stardards, and I would hate to disappoint you.” And I walked away. I will never look at her the same way again.
Post # 2
Oh man….what a cow! But your response to her inviting herself to your wedding was ON POINT. Well done!
Post # 3
Also your ring sounds awesome – I would love to see a photo!
Post # 4
It sounds like she was trying to be funny with “You need to make sure you are getting the real thing because men will get old and crabby but your ring will sparkle forever,” and it wasn’t funny. Try to let go of the outrage and hurt feelings – in the grand scheme of things, this woman’s rudeness has little to no impact on your life.
Post # 5
All you need to tell people is that you think it’s perfect. These comments only reflect on her.
Post # 6
Agree with all your comments. After her great display of diplomacy, I was told that she has done this to other people. She has no filter and does take into account how her comments may hurt other people. I am trying to let it go, but it is going to be hard to respect this person again.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
wow, that’s awful!! I’m glad you stood up for yourself. She sounds materialtistic and miserable.
Post # 8
Love your response to her! Don’t feel humiliated, SHE should feel humiliated for acting like that. An heirloom is extra beautiful to me.
Post # 9
umm wow! Amazing response though, good for you!
You should get the ring appraised though.. For insurance purposes. My engagement ring was made from the gold/diamonds of my FI’s grandmother’s wedding rings. We had no idea the qorth/quality of the diamonds and it is important to have that information should anything happen to the ring.
I had one guy come up to me after I was engaged say “Round 2 eh, you must be good at planning these. What are you? Knocked up??” I wanted to punch him in the nose. I was married before to an abusive man, eventually divorced him. Found my now Fiance who is a spectacular person. Needless to say he is NOT invited to the wedding
Post # 10
Wowww, so rude!!!! I love your response, though!
Post # 12
Girl, your response!!! Seriously. Good for you for having the balls to say it! Lord knows it needed to be said!
The only thing wrong with your post is that I don’t see a ring picture! You can’t go telling a bunch of women on the bee that you have a 100 year old family heirloom ring, and not show us a photo so we can all gawk at it. 🙂
Post # 13
I think you’re doing pretty well if that’s the rudest thing anyone has ever said to you. And, not only did you think quickly and give her a good response, you also had a room full of women, including your future mother in law, that heard her comments and were appalled. I’m sure it was shocking in the moment, but you definitely came out on top.
Post # 14
I love your response to her. And I also would love to see a picture.
Several months after I got engaged, I was in my office with a college-aged student who works for me part time. She mentioned that she and several of her coworkers had been trying to figure out how my fiance managed to afford such a giant ring. She said that if he could afford that, he’s obviously overpaid for what he does. I gave her an education in the sorts of comments that we don’t make about people’s finances and then gave her an education in moissanite.
I thought she would be chastened by the conversation, but she came back the next day saying that she talked it over with her boyfriend and he told her he would never expect her to settle for a fake diamond because she deserves the real thing. Gaah! Kids these days.
Post # 15
You SHOULD get it appraised, but more for insurance purposes not to make sure its not cz lol!
And yes, she sounds crazy, but this line is hilarious “men will get old and crabby but your ring will sparkle forever”
I LOVE heirloom diamonds, I think the notion is so romantic! Congrats on your engagement!