[content moderated for snark]
Also this is typed on an iPad
How is giving someone money that doesn’t even cover the cost of the plate going to help out?
Where is the gift?
And of course it is the norm for almost all Asian weddingings to give money. You even get money for making tea. You have to give money to another bride on the day if you meet up unlucky like to stop bad luck, it’s money, money, money.
I am even going to go as far with how silly other cultures are about money in regards to funerals. We give money AND flowers when someone passes. I have noticed no one else does this other than the Asian side, all other cultures just bought an empty card and some gave flowers. To me this is very weird.
Now birthdays annoy me. No party no present is my view.
I have been invited to one birthday when I gave a money gift and then was handed the bill at the end while this guy counted his money in front of everyone, disgusting. My view is if your not going to pay the bill don’t ask for money or gifts let your gift be the meal.
Byo for a party is horrible, BYO drinks and one time was a BYO food! Just cheap! I joke with my family all the time as we are not rich by any means, but can’t believe how crap most of the functions we go to. Maybe I have been bought up with HIgh eXpectations and what is expected when I host a function. Yes people enjoy and are impressed with our party’s and are surprised when we say no BYO everything is supplied, most people just don’t supply shit these days. Our family joke and say, let’s have a BYO meat to a BBQ as everyone seems cool with this..??
Some birthdays however it’s not always about cash, but gifts. Depends on the person
Christmas, new year, cash, and is expensive.
Also my dad has been to a wedding that took the money gift first and then gave him cold party pies and warm fake cola. that should of been a $20 – $50 money gift max as it was disrespectful to make everyone stand, over 300 people and was a bs money grab event with no lavish celebration and no thank you card for the amount gifted.
Weddings are about helping a couple set up, not pay you to enjoy at there expense.
Also yes close family member like parents and grand Parents give over $1000
To a cocktail function maybe $100max as a couple if they invited a lot of people.
but to a nice sit down meal to a couple I don’t know very well $200
Last year, as my fi was best man we gave $800 to help the couple have a honeymoon.
It was a Chinese 13 course meal, but the cost was apx $50 per head and $10 for drinks, the gift was relative to the position my fi held. $100 was probably the gift average from other people.
Anyway there are a few people I have to invite that I know will act funny about money gifts, honestly I would rather those people not come as I don’t want them anyway. there is a difference between being disrespectful to my culture and being not able to afford.
now there are people that I am inviting and I know they are, well no nice way to say this, poor, due to economic reasons, so I expect to make a loss and have asked by word of mouth for $9 as it is lucky and there attendance is more important.
Also not paying for or helping pay for the bm dresses is cheap, just wanted to randomly add that.
Now money wise, if everyone did pay just for the seat, the couple would still be at a loss. The dress, the church, the music etc etc. so yeah I don’t know what a cheap salad bowl is going to do to help a couple out when they are swimming in the debt from the lavish function that there friends and family demand and judge them over.
My view is: cost of seat + what you see fit to gift based on relationship
If you can’t afford let the couple know, maybe you are traveling or moving or loss of job, at least you can save face and not be disrespectful.