(Closed) The rudest thing I've every seen printed on a wedding invitation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 167
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh who cares. So many people get their knickers in a knot about all this shit.

Post # 168
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Cheekyduck:  So what you’re saying is, we should call up the bride and groom for each wedding that we attend and ask them how much they’re spending on food and drink? So what you’re saying is that your guests should be financing your wedding costs because how else is that going to “help out.”

Post # 169
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Cheekyduck:  Please dont drag Australia into this mess. Australians don’t act the way you do.  While I agree a few around these parts are cheap in regards to wedding gifts (oh my presence is your present) your view on gifts is based on asian traditions. Most Bee’s dont view it that way. I think $100 per person if a good amount to give if you know the person socially. If you are close friends or relatives then I would give about $250pp. This is pretty standard in Australia (well in my experience) but not on the Bee. 

Post # 170
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Let’s just agree to disagree. Some run in cirlces where you cover your plate, some run in circles where you cover you plate and then some, some run in circles where gifts are optional. Manners and etiquette differ in various groups.

You’re not attending each others weddings so it does not matter if you can’t reach a consensus.

Post # 171
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Cheekyduck:  This is false.  I also find it rude to share how much you spent on guests.

I would NEVER expect someone to give me as much as I spent per head.  That’s absolutely absurd.

THAT would be gift grabby.

Post # 172
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MistySoda:  Wedding website, shower invitations, word of mouth.

Post # 173
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Um wow…I have never heard of a couple doing that on any kind of invitation let alone a wedding invitation. That is pretty trashy in my opinion and shows lack of class and basic etiquette. Seriously…wow. That takes some nerve that is for sure! I am not even sure I would even accept that invitation let alone attend the wedding and/or send a gift. That is so tacky!! And not to mention stupid, just putting your bank account number on there like that…unbelievable! Wow. Heaven forbid, their invitation go misrouted or sent to the wrong person…geesh! I agree with PP that there are a lot of other more classy and tactful ways to let guests know that they prefer cash/check in lieu of gifts. These people aren’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. LOL 

Post # 174
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Cheekyduck:  You either have a very small family and very few friends, or else you have a very, VERY high-paying job.

I am invited to 4 weddings a year, minimum. If I gave as much as you say, I would have to stop buying superfluous luxury items like haircuts, medications, and food.

I try to cover my plate. If they’re dumb enough to go so far into debt as to need the money that badly, they can march their broke you-know-whats down to Macy’s and get a refund. I don’t believe in exorbitant gifts (because I can’t afford to) and I don’t believe in giving cash (because I’ve seen card boxes go “missing” more than once), but I do believe in gift receipts.

Post # 175
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

My opinion –

If you host a wedding, I don’t think you should expect anything in return for your guest’s privilege to attend your party. If they decide to bring a gift (be it cash or whatever) then you should be grateful.

Nowhere is it written that guests must bring enough to cover their meals or contribute to a honeymoon registry or pay a minimum expected contribution. I bet the majority of guests will be more than generous with their gifts anyway, without having to solicitate for them.

Otherwise, just call it for what it is – a fundraiser instead of a wedding.

Post # 176
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@EffieTrinket:  Exactly….we have 5 coming up between April and September…that we know of so far.  

We are both part of one of them and will probably give them $100 in addition to what we’re doing as BM/GM.  That’s a lot (eta: for us).

Everyone else we’ll probably give around $50-$75.  We could probably swing more but I do NOT feel like that’s expected and we’re trying to plan for our own future…not other people’s.

Post # 177
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Cheekyduck:  Personally, I’m disgusted by the entitlement you have as to who gets you what and for how much. Culture or not, asking those people you KNOW are on the poor side for money anyways (even if it’s only $9) just goes to show that you really don’t care about them being there, you just want some sort of contribution from them..even if it’s only $9. That’s pretty sad. If I was your friend you’d get a pack of paper plates (multipack) and some coupons for some crack cheap store in a bad part of town. Cheap or not..I’d still get one hell of a laugh from sending someone who thinks they deserve hundreds from guests, essentially pretty much a bunch of garbage. I’m not a cheap person by any means (don’t really care if you think so) and will usually give pretty nice gifts for those who are deserving of them. I’m not going to spoil people who demand money like a rotton child. In those cases, I WILL be cheap and send a trinket instead. 🙂

Post # 178
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@ChuckNorris:  Lol true…but there is the dollar menu so….. Innocent

Post # 179
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@beesbelle:  I personally am happy if my family and friends can witness the ceremony and enjoy the celebration afterwards with my Fiance and I. I don’t expect exorbitant gifts or gifts at all. 🙂 

Post # 180
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EffieTrinket:  and @Mars62312:  My Fiance and I have at least 3-4 or other weddings to attend plus sending gifts to at least 2 more this year and planning/paying for our own wedding in August. 2013 seems to be the year of the weddings. 🙂 I know my Fiance and I are going to give them reasonable gifts off of their registries. Yes, I tend to agree a lot of couples have a sense of entitlement which is ridiculous, they should be happy that people can share the day with them and celebrate with them afterwards! =) 

Post # 181
Member
3120 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@lovelylight99:  Exactly, we threw the wedding for ourselves, not as a fundraiser.  All gifts were greatly appreciated, but I honestly don’t remember who got us gifts and who didn’t.  I could look back and find out, but it’s HONESTLY not that important to me.

 

I just see that invitation as reading like this (between the lines:)

Hey, congrats for being invited to our wedding!  Since we’re mentioning it on the invitation, we expect you to get us a gift.  If you can’t make it, that’s fine!  Just put it in our account for us! Don’t you dare think about getting us something from your heart.  We only want and will only appreciate cold hard cash.  But aren’t we cute for being honest?!?!  All of you who aren’t are just fake! Forget what our grandmothers think..they’re old and don’t know any better!  It’s not rude!

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