It could definitely be worded in a better way. We didn’t want anyone buying us actual gifts because we were about to move less than a week later, several hundred miles away. But I just explained it to people, didn’t put it in a blunt way like that!
I realized reading her post that it was not an Austrailian thing and it wasn’t even a cultral thing… I don’t even think the other Asian brides who have posted here have expect what she expects… I realized she’s just spoiled… 🙂
Good job everyone for being offended by Chinese Wedding traditions.
money and the amount given have spiritual luck with them, money is a big part in a chinese wedding. even to pick up the bride money is required!
This OP wedding is not a chinese wedding, they just asked for money, while most of you see this as rude, for me this is common. but hey, because its not what you believe it must be rude and put other people down for their beliefs.
@Cheekyduck:Umm I’m Vietnamese so get off your high and mighty horse and don’t group all asians as greedy ass money grabbing individuals. Giving money is tradition yes and you should be thankful when you get it, but EXPECTING MONEY IS DISRESPECTFUL AND EVIL!
By the way, filipinos find asking money extremely disrespectful so this tradition does not apply to all asians!
@Cheekyduck: How do you know how much each people spent for food and drink on their reception? Do you always call and ask? I get that you can get a general idea if you know the venue or are familiar with it ahead of time…but how do you know how much exactly they spend per head??!?!
Heck I might as well go all out with some $500+ per person plate of food and drink if everyone really was going to cover their own plate at every wedding!
Anyway…I don’t find mentioning that they want cash as rude really (if they’re nice about it. I’d rather give them what they need than something they can’t use)…but I think the bank account # is completely over the top. The way it’s worded does come accross as rude
meh. they could have been less rude and left out the account number, but in my culture, it’s pretty much customary to give money anyway so I don’t really have an issue with that aspect.
@Cheekyduck: please don’t disgrace the rest of us Chinese with your very rude behavior. Both the Google articles you presented gave an IDEA of how much money a guest should give, not how much a bride should expect based on how much she spent per head.
@Cheekyduck: Let’s be clear here for a moment, first of all, I initally thought it was a cultual difference… until you kept responding. I realized that no, it’s not a Austrailian thing, it’s not an Asian thing, it’s not a Chinese thing, it was just a YOU thing. That YOU had monetary “requirements” for your friends and family.
No one made any racist comments at you. In fact some of other Asian and Chinese brides have been offended by what you think you are entitled to. You even called the rest of us cheap for not agreeing with your standards.
All you have managed to do is come off sounding super spoiled and super entitled… you keep responding and you keep digging yourself into a deeper hole.
To give money is common in my background as well… but no one tells ANYONE how much to give.Is giving cash tacky? I don’t think so. Is ASKING for cash tacky? Yes, absolutely. Is asking for a certain amount tacky, It’s above and beyond, not to mention rude.
It actually sounds like you are having people come just to fund your wedding… and then looking for addition handouts.I’m honestly surprised you have friends willing to attend, especially considering your monetary “requirements.”
First of all, Asian does NOT equal Chinese. Asia is a giant continent. You’ve got China, Japan, Tibet, and so on. And as my friend always says, everyone always forgets the Indians.
Secondly, putting forth opinions and unique cultural customs as the end all, be all of etiquette is definitely not good or helpful to anyone.
As a half-Vietnamese girl, I’m pretty much expecting cash as gifts from half my family. Not because I WANT money, but I’m simply going to be given cash. That’s what my relatives have been giving my other relatives since the beginning of time. Am I offended when other Bees say that giving cash is tacky? LOL no. They aren’t part of my culture, and don’t know its customs.
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