(Closed) The rudest thing I've every seen printed on a wedding invitation

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 182
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It could definitely be worded in a better way. We didn’t want anyone buying us actual gifts because we were about to move less than a week later, several hundred miles away. But I just explained it to people, didn’t put it in a blunt way like that!

Post # 183
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@MistySoda:  Wedding website.

@FauxBoho:  +1

I realized reading her post that it was not an Austrailian thing and it wasn’t even a cultral thing… I don’t even think the other Asian  brides who have posted here have expect what she expects… I realized she’s just spoiled… 🙂

Post # 184
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

First page google:

http://chineseculture.about.com/od/chinesefestivals/a/Chinese-Wedding-Gifts.htm

http://traditions.cultural-china.com/en/214Traditions9242.html

 

Don’t shit on my Culture! it’s not made up by me, its a tradition. a common tradition.

like i said i haven’t had a wedding yet, the prices i quoted are what i paid, what was expected by others, and yes it did hurt the bank, but the gift was to help out and the wedding wasn’t about me.

[content moderated for name-calling, snark, personal attacks]

Post # 185
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MangoSong:  

First page google:

http://chineseculture.about.com/od/chinesefestivals/a/Chinese-Wedding-Gifts.htm

http://traditions.cultural-china.com/en/214Traditions9242.html

Thanks for calling our tradition spoiled.

Good job everyone for being offended by Chinese Wedding traditions.

money and the amount given have spiritual luck with them, money is a big part in a chinese wedding. even to pick up the bride money is required!

This OP wedding is not a chinese wedding, they just asked for money, while most of you see this as rude, for me this is common. but hey, because its not what you believe it must be rude and put other people down for their beliefs. 

Post # 187
Member
9818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Cheekyduck:  How do you know how much each people spent for food and drink on their reception?  Do you always call and ask?  I get that you can get a general idea if you know the venue or are familiar with it ahead of time…but how do you know how much exactly they spend per head??!?!  

Heck I might as well go all out with some $500+ per person plate of food and drink if everyone really was going to cover their own plate at every wedding!

Anyway…I don’t find mentioning that they want cash as rude really (if they’re nice about it.  I’d rather give them what they need than something they can’t use)…but I think the bank account # is completely over the top.  The way it’s worded does come accross as rude

Post # 188
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@babecake:  dear god. When i say Asian i mean Chinese.

 

Post # 190
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 191
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Cheekyduck:  Because of course, Chinese are the only Asians. Everyone knows that.

I like how everyone that posts here is racist because we don’t believe exactly the same way you do. But that’s okay, we’ll just take our “cheap ass ways” and mosey on out of this thread.

Post # 192
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@kes18:  Okay, i can see how the OP invite it can be rude to some people, even tho i don’t find it rude. thats all i was saying.

however if you are having a CHINESE wedding, and you think the money tradition is rude, then thats racist.

Post # 194
Member
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

meh. they could have been less rude and left out the account number, but in my culture, it’s pretty much customary to give money anyway so I don’t really have an issue with that aspect.

@Cheekyduck: please don’t disgrace the rest of us Chinese with your very rude behavior. Both the Google articles you presented gave an IDEA of how much money a guest should give, not how much a bride should expect based on how much she spent per head.

Post # 195
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Cheekyduck:  Let’s be clear here for a moment, first of all, I initally thought it was a cultual difference… until you kept responding. I realized that no, it’s not a Austrailian thing, it’s not an Asian thing, it’s not a Chinese thing, it was just a YOU thing. That YOU had monetary “requirements” for your friends and family. 

No one made any racist comments at you. In fact some of other Asian and Chinese brides have been offended by what you think you are entitled to. You even called the rest of us cheap for not agreeing with your standards.

All you have managed to do is come off sounding super spoiled and super entitled… you keep responding and you keep digging yourself into a deeper hole.

To give money is common in my background as well… but no one tells ANYONE how much to give.Is giving cash tacky? I don’t think so. Is ASKING for cash tacky? Yes, absolutely. Is asking for a certain amount tacky, It’s above and beyond, not to mention rude.

It actually sounds like you are having people come just to fund your wedding… and then looking for addition handouts.I’m honestly surprised you have friends willing to attend, especially considering your monetary “requirements.”

Post # 196
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

@Cheekyduck: 

Let’s all calm down for a minute here lol

First of all, Asian does NOT equal Chinese.  Asia is a giant continent.  You’ve got China, Japan, Tibet, and so on.  And as my friend always says, everyone always forgets the Indians. 

Secondly, putting forth opinions and unique cultural customs as the end all, be all of etiquette is definitely not good or helpful to anyone.

As a half-Vietnamese girl, I’m pretty much expecting cash as gifts from half my family.  Not because I WANT money, but I’m simply going to be given cash.  That’s what my relatives have been giving my other relatives since the beginning of time.  Am I offended when other Bees say that giving cash is tacky?  LOL no.  They aren’t part of my culture, and don’t know its customs.

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